Page 65 of This and Every Life
Grayson speaks up, his voice calm. “We’ve never fucked.”
Shawn’s wide eyes shift to me.
I shrug. “We haven’t. I told you—it’s not like that.”
Our agent shoots out of his seat, pacing around the kitchen. “Then what the ever-loving fuck are you two doing? How is this worth the shitstorm coming our way?”
I slam my hands down on the counter, and Shawn jolts. “It’s worth it to us.Him. Andme.” I aim a finger between Grayson and myself. “It’sourlife, Shawn. Let us live it.”
He breathes heavily for a moment. Grayson, for his part, is eating a buffalo wing.
“You expect people to believe you’re two bachelor friends shacking up and nothing more?” Shawn asks, shaking his head. “They won’t.”
“I don’t care,” I tell him, taking my own plate over to the other side of the island. I plop down next to Grayson, Shawn at my back. “It doesn’t matter what people think. It doesn’t matter what they say.”
“And your careers?” he asks, walking around to the front of us. “You’ll lose opportunities because of this.”
I open my hands wide. “There’ll be others. Like you said, I’m the biggest movie star on the planet. If someone doesn’t want to work with me because I’m queer, well…I can’t say I want to work with them either.”
“One of,” Shawn says tiredly, scrubbing his eyes. “I said you’reone ofthe biggest movie stars. Notthebiggest.”
I huff.
“And you?” Shawn asks Grayson. “You’re willing to risk your career for him? Some guy you’re not even fucking, apparently?”
Grayson lifts his gaze steadily, his blue eyes like the calmest ocean. “I’d risk everything for him.”
Shawn throws his hands into the air once more, storming a step away before coming back. “You two are making a mistake. The biggest one of your careers. Of yourlives.”
“And yet, somehow, I’m still smiling,” I point out, grinning Shawn’s way.
He looks near murderous, although I know underneath it he has our best interests at heart. He’s been a good agent to us both, and he didn’t blink twice at the news that Grayson was moving in. He simply went into damage control mode. On top of trying to stop us a good dozen times.
But what he can’t seem to understand is that I’m done playing to other people’s expectations. I grew up in a time where being bi wasn’t talked about or readily accepted. It was barely understood. It’s different now, and the world needs more queer representation in mainstream media. So I’ll lose the support of a bunch of homophobic or biphobic assholes. Big deal. Maybe I’ll even lose my standing in cinema.
But I’ve been doing this for nearly thirty years. I think it’s time I play myself for once.
“What if I release a statement that Grayson is staying temporarily on the heels of his divorce?” Shawn asks, a last-ditch effort to control the story.
“I’m not gonna lie,” I tell him.
He groans. “You two are going to have to face the music at some point. Some paparazzi is going to catch Grayson coming or going, and the stories will start. People will speculate. You’ll be hounded.”
“We’ll deal with it when it happens.”
“Fine,” Shawn says, voice clipped. “If you’re determined to implode like dying goddamn stars, by all means. I’ll be in touch.”
Grayson waits until the front door slams to speak. “I don’t think he likes us very much.”
I snort. “He likes us fine. He doesn’t like not being able to do his job. And this… Well. It’ll cause problems.”
Grayson chews his lip for a moment, his plate mostly clean. “Should we care more? About how this affects others?”
I scoff. “We’re not harming anyone with our actions, so no. We damn well should not.”
Grayson chuckles lightly. “You’ve got a bee in your bonnet about this.”
“In my bonnet?” I question. “Really?”
