Page 96 of Brim Over Boot
I let Noah fuck me. Wanted it.Askedfor it.
And it was everything—everything—I was afraid it would be.
How do I go back now? Can I?
When I get home, I park in my usual spot in the lot outside the ranch house. Seeing as it’s the weekend, there are less vehicles here today, a skeleton crew on duty as opposed to the full twenty or so we have on a typical weekday. I check myself in the mirror before grabbing my hat and heading toward the house, leaving the chest for later.
I hear voices once I step inside and cringe. Maybe I can sneak past? I toe off my boots as quietly as I can, shut the door, and make my way down the hall.
My family goes quiet the moment I pass in front of the dining room. My mom, my dad, Jackson, and Remi are all inside, silent now and staring at me, frozen in place. My mom’s hands are midair, halted in conversation. Remi’s eyes ping quickly between me and the rest of our family, checking for words he may be missing. Jackson raises an eyebrow, surely noticing I’m wearing the same clothes I was before.
“Morning,” I say and sign before hurrying past.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
It’s fine. It could’ve been any one-night stand. Any one-night stand with a girl from town or someone passing through. Or aguy, even. Anyone. Not a single person in my family is going to assume it was Noah King.
Even though it was.
I lock myself in the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes so I can shower off any potential evidence of my night with Noah. My chest pings as I scrub away the woodsy scent from his bodywash, replacing it with my own.
When I get in my room, I change into fresh clothes and sit my ass on my bed, my head in my hands as I try to parse through my racing thoughts. I’m not the least bit surprised when there’s a knock at the door.
I know it’s Remi. I just do.
I stand up and walk over, letting him in. He’s not wearing his processor, which isn’t uncommon at home.
A quick,‘Spill,’tumbles from his hands as he leans against the door. His eyes shift to my neck, and I groan, walking to the mirror in front of my dresser.
Fucking Noah. He left another goddamn hickey.
I plop back onto my bed, looking at Remi, at a loss.‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Try.’
I let out a breath, hands moving more swiftly than the words inside my head can form.‘I’ve been hooking up with Noah King.’
I spell out Noah’s name, secretly hoping Remi will assign him a name signone of these days that denotes hisasshole kingstatus.
Remi’s mouth drops open.‘Since when?’he asks, hands cutting swiftly through the air.
I try to count backwards.‘Since that time he jerked me off in his barn?’
‘Months,’Remi supplies.
‘Months,’I agree.
“The hell?” Remi says aloud, switching back to ASL to ask,‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
Andfuck. He looks hurt.
‘I was embarrassed,’I admit.‘I didn’t know what you’d think of me for hooking up with a guy I don’t even like.’
I frown at the present tense, not sure if that’s even true anymore.God, I’m so confused.
Remi pushes off from the door, coming over to sit beside me on the bed.‘You’re an idiot.’He flicks my forehead when I lift my hands in protest.‘I’m your brother.’He repeats the word, looking me straight in the eyes as his hands come together.‘I’ll always support you. And I won’t ever think less of you because of who you choose to sleep with.’
‘But he’s…’I pause mid-movement.
