Page 42 of Brim Over Boot
Idon’tsleep.
Despite my best efforts, I can’t shut off my brain, which is why I find myself out of bed before the ass crack of dawn, shoving perfectly crispy strips of bacon into my mouth. The dining room is bustling, the first-shift ranchers eating their breakfast as usual to fuel up before the start of their busy day. Some will head off to milk the dairy cows after this. Others will saddle up horses and ride west, overseeing the many acres of land over which our beef cattle roam.
Jackson will make sure everything is running smoothly, as he does every day. Ash will keep us all happily fed. Remi will take care of the horses and the animals at the petting farm. Lawson will head into town to the school to teach bright young minds the genius of William Shakespeare or Harper Lee. My mom will probably work on her vegetable gardens, getting beds ready for planting and putting up trellises. My dad will…I dunno. Tend to the honey bees he got last year, maybe?
And me?
I’ll be shoeing horses as if my life didn’t just irrevocably change last night. As if I’m the same person I was a couple days ago, when I know, for a fact, that isn’t true. Iamchanged.
I just don’t know if it’s for the better.
My morning passes in a fog. Changing shoes. Trimming hooves. Trying—and failing—to banish thoughts of Noah every time a horse nibbles on my back or neck.
“I want you to know that all you have to do is ask and it’s yours.”
Fuck.
I drive to my appointments, keeping my eyes peeled each time I’m on the road, like I might see Noah’s bike or his blue pickup. I eat lunch at home, not daring to venture into town. And I repeat the process all over again in the afternoon.
Shoes. Hooves. Tiny bites on my arms and attempts to grab my hair. Noah.
“Beg me for it, little Colt.”
Nope, nope, nope.
More driving. Dinner at the ranch. A few looks thrown my way from my family that I ignore.
By the time my day is well and truly done, so am I. I take a shower, my legs feeling like lead, and fall onto my mattress.
A soft knock comes a moment later. “Colt?”
“Come in,” I tell my brother.
Remi eases the door open, concern obvious on his face. “Hey. You doing okay?”
I’m not surprised he noticed something off with me, but I don’t know what the fuck to say to him. How to explain I’m having a sexual crisis because I begged my longstanding rival to make me come and busted a nut so intense I thought, for a second, I might pass out.
“Do you think,” I say slowly, “you could bring me to a gay club this weekend?”
Remi’s eyebrows fly up. “Did you say a gay club?”
I nod, turning my face more fully his way so he can read me better. “I’m kind of freaking out over here.”
Remi closes the door and comes over quickly, slapping my legs out of the way so he can take a seat. I ease into a sitting position against the headboard, my chest feeling tight.
“Explain,” my brother says.
“Fuck, Remi. I let Noah…” I stop and hastily spell out,‘jerk me off,’before continuing in voice. “And I didn’t hate it, even though youknowI hate him. So now I needa…test it? Figure myself out, I guess? Because what the fuck? Like, what the actual fuck?”
“Okay,” Remi says slowly, easing out a breath I replicate on instinct. “Noah?”
I nod.
“As in Noah King?”
“Do we know any others?” I groan before rubbing my eyes.
“Just checking,” he says mildly, sounding borderline amused. “How did it happen? Do I even wanna know?”
