Page 36 of Brim Over Boot
Being pissed is easier.
“Um,” Remi starts, “why would you be kneel—”
“Boys,” our mom calls, startling all of us. She strides toward the bonfire, a few foil-covered plates stacked in her hands. Our dad pops into view next, even more plates balanced in his arms. “I knew I’d find y’all out here. Since apparently mysons, all of whom are grown-ass men and should know better, decided the smart course of action would be to get into the damned whiskey before filling their stomachs with dinner. Come on now—take a plate. And a thank-you would be nice for walking all this way.”
“It’s five minutes down the road,” Jackson mutters under his breath.
Our mom passes the plate she was about to hand to Jackson over to Ash and then walks the next one to Remi.
“Oh, c’mon now,” Jackson grumbles.
“Here you go,” my dad says, handing me a plate from his pile. “So what are we doing? Stewing or cheering up?”
A slow smile spreads across my face as my parents join us in front of the fire. We eat our dinner with our fingers, seeing as they didn’t bother bringing forks. No one seems to mind. The sky slowly turns dark as we exchange stories and the occasional attempt is made at making me feel better. It doesn’t work. Not fully. But I’m ever so grateful for my family for trying.
It’s late when Remi, Lawson, and I head back to the ranch house, my parents having left long ago. Lawson ruffles my hair like I’m still a kid before heading to his room, but Remi doesn’t go quite so quickly. He follows after me, peering at me in that way he does. He’s always been able to read me better than most.
“Will you be okay?” he asks. I appreciate that he understands, right now, I’m not.
I nod. “It was just a stupid competition.”
He raises an eyebrow. “We both know it wasn’t stupid. Not to you.”
I let out a sigh and plunk down on the corner of my bed, my hands feeling heavy as I lift them to speak for me. It feels easier, somehow, to air my feelings in silence.‘I can’t stand the guy, Remi. He’s always made me feel like I’m not good enough. Like he doesn’t think I’m good enough. Why? What did I ever do to him?’
‘You mean other than compete with the man for the same business for the past fifteen years?’
Remi’s expression is full of sass, but I hold his gaze.‘The first time I met the guy, he barely gave me the time of day. He couldn’t have made it clearer he thought I was gum under his shoe.’
‘I don’t know then.’My brother huffs as he joins me at the edge of the bed.‘Not everyone gets along.’
‘I know that. I just wish…’
I don’t finish my sentence, and Remi’s softly spoken, “Hey,” pulls my gaze. He pats my chest before his hands move slowly and assuredly.‘I know your heart inside and out. If Noah can’t see it, that’s on him. Not you.’
I’m embarrassed to feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I blink rapidly to dispel them. “Yeah,” I say, all I can manage.
Remi lets out a soft sigh before giving me a hug. When he goes, I walk to my window, looking out over our land and the cows resting in the dairy field under the light of the moon.
Noah fucking King.
Why can’t I get over the guy?
I try to go to sleep. I do. But all I succeed in is tossing and turning, my thoughts a whirlwind that won’t settle. With a huff, I swing my feet out of bed and grab my phone.
It takes a few texts to folks around town to find out Noah’s address. I shove my clothes back on, step into my boots, and head out the door.
I don’t know what I’m doing. Not really. Have no clue what I hope to accomplish.
I just can’t get past this day without some sort of…closure. I’m sure, deep in my gut, if I confront Noah, I’ll feel better. Somehow. Some way.
I follow my GPS to his place, a house set back from the road with privacy on both sides. It’s quiet when I turn off my truck, and I sit in the driver’s seat for a minute, looking at the darkened house, second-guessing my being here. What if I wake Noah’s uncle instead of him?
But then I see a flicker of light coming from a barn set out back behind the house and open my door.
No backing out now.
A clang rings out as I walk across the grass toward the barn. It’s open, light spilling out from inside. I take a deep breath before rounding the corner.
