Page 56 of Brim Over Boot
I nearly wince at the blatant lie, hating that I’m being dishonest with Remi of all people. But what would I possibly say? How thefuckwould I explain I ran into Noah King outside of Darling and thathewas the one snacking on my neck?
It doesn’t make sense. Not even to me. How am I supposed to make it make sense to him?
“Colt,” Remi says softly. “If you’re freaking out about kissing a guy, it’s okay. I know it probably feels like this big thing, and in some ways, it is. But none of it changes who you are at your core. You’re stillyou.”
I shake my head, trying to figure out what to say to my younger brother. “It’s not that,” I tell him truthfully. “It doesn’t bother me that it was a man, it’s just… This was thewrongman, Remi. Just trust me on that. But he was the only one in that club I even…”Fuck. “He was the only one I wanted to kiss. So what does that say about me? What thefuckdoes that mean?”
Remi is silent for a moment, the headlights from oncoming cars my only distraction before he speaks again. “Being bi isn’t always a fifty-fifty split. It doesn’t mean you automatically like as many men as you do women, or vice versa. Attraction is different for everyone. So if it’s only a guy here or there…”
He lets the sentiment hang, but I fill in the blank. “That doesn’t make me less bi.”
When I glance Remi’s way again, he has a calm, almost proud look on his face. Which, coming from my baby brother, is just plain weird. Sweet, but weird. “You think you are?” he asks, tone devoid of judgement. “Bi, I mean?”
“Yeah,” I say, letting out a breath as I signal to turn onto the highway. “I guess I am.”
But why the fuck does the man I’m attracted to have to be the one who’s worst for me in every single way?
“Will you tell our brothers?” Remi asks, his voice again lacking judgement. “And our parents?”
“Nah,” I say nonchalantly. “Figure I’ll just wait until the wedding invites go out and let them clue in for themselves.”
“Ass,” Remi says lightly, punching my leg.
“Jesus. You been moving hay bales? That fucking hurt.”
“Did not,” he says.
Kinda did.
After another sigh, I add, “Yes, I’ll tell ’em. Just have to figure out what to say.”
“You will,” Remi says. “You’ll figure it all out.”
I sure fucking hope he’s right.
When we get home, the hour late, Remi heads to bed. I find my feet carrying me toward one of my most trusted companions.
The horse barn is closed up and dark when I arrive. I flick on an interior light, the dimmest one in the hallway that won’t wake the horses. Clementine’s ears twitch when I lift the latch to her stall, but she doesn’t get up.
“Sorry, Clem,” I say as softly as I can, easing her door open enough to step through. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
I find a clear area near her head to sit down, the straw crunching under me, and Clementine shifts enough to bump me with her nose. I dutifully rub along her head and behind her ears, the swell and ebb of her ribcage as she breathes soothing.
“So, uh, turns out I’m kinda messed up,” I tell my confidant. “Apparently I have a thing for my archnemesis jacking me off? I don’t get it, Clem. I don’t like the guy. Never have. He’s rude and clearly thinks he’s better than me.Little Colt. Pft.”
I ignore the way my chest heats at the memory of that nickname falling from Noah’s lips, the phantom of his voice, his touch, hiseverythingsearing. Like fire.
Dangerous, is what it is.
“He’s a dick,” I mutter, voice rough.
Clementine huffs softly as if in agreement.
“And hehasa dick, which is just…”
Different,I decide on. It’s really fucking different than what I’m used to. And Itouchedit. I spat in my hand and stroked the moisture down Noah’s cock. And I didn’t hate it? Not like I hate the guy, at least. His dick was really fucking pretty, actually, which is not something I’ve ever thought about a penis before. But his…
It was straight. Thick in my grip. Hot. And the head…it was almost intimidating, like the man himself. Demanding my attention.
