Page 76 of Glass Wings
She had the urge to find his dirty laundry and roll around in it, covering her body with his musk now that she wouldn’t be able to reach out and touch him. She pulled her shoulders up to her ears and closed her eyes, imagining the cotton shirt and jeans he wore the previous day brushing against her skin.
“Hungry?” A voice came from behind her, and Hadley turned around, startled out of her newfound addiction. Amis looked at her, the note still held up to her face, and winced once he likely realized what she was doing.
“I am,” Hadley said, bringing the note down on the countertopand lifting the lid covering the plate. She looked at the food, mouth watering at the crab eggs benedict and fried potatoes. The extra side of hollandaise sauce only told her that Sheng’s chefs were starting to catch on to the fact that maybe she didn’t care so much about the food itself, just the condiments. She smiled at the simple thought of this place becoming a true home and welcoming her with arms opened wide. She could belong here. She could be happy here.
Stupid girl.
“Does Sheng being gone mean that you will be hovering over me?” she directed towards Amis with a mouthful of potatoes. The salt and fat gave her anxiety instant relief, and the pleasure of the food in her mouth became her entire focus.
Despite Amis’ reaction to her eating like a savage animal, he did his best to hide it and looked down at his feet.
“How has this transition been going for you?” Amis asked after a few moments of listening to Hadley gulp a glass of grapefruit juice.
“What do you mean?” Hadley looked at Amis sharply, not lifting her fork to her mouth. Amis stared back at her, not saying anything but studying her face.
“Please excuse me,” he said, breaking the tense silence and walking back out of the kitchen.
Hadley felt her stomach drop when she was alone once more. She pushed her plate of food further away from her unfinished, stood up, and walked outside to the patio. She lounged all day on the plush couch under the exterior ceiling fan as various staff moved around the grounds, tending to tidying or gardening.
Her eyes would tear up as her body ached for more of Sheng. Even being away from him for a few short hours proved unbearable. She needed his touch, his stern gaze, and his authoritative but protective words to wrap around her like a heavy blanket.
This is wrong.
The thought flashed suddenly in her mind like a neon sign. Pushing it back, Hadley fell asleep thinking about incorporating a love story like theirs into her writing. When she woke, she stood up, walked back in from the kitchen, ignored the dinner placed out forher, and went straight up to the primary bedroom. She covered herself in the brand-new sheets and blankets that had been replaced after the morning's blood bath. They didn’t smell like Sheng.
That night, Hadley tossed and turned. Her skin felt impossibly hot and clammy, sweating through her dark blue slip. She whimpered, pulling Sheng’s pillow into her chest and cradling it, letting herself cry freely before finding sleep again.
The bright sun hit her eyes in the morning, and she groaned, reaching her arms out for the warm body that was not there next to her. Her head was pounding, and her body ached as if she had a fever.
She touched her neck; the wounds from Sheng’s teeth had already disappeared. Were they healing even faster, or was she just imagining it?
Tucking herself into the bed, hiding underneath the blanket, Hadley decided not to move. She was to live right here until Sheng came back and held her, touched her, and drank from her. She let hours pass until she uncovered her face, taking a sharp breath.
Fuck this.
Hadley’s brain felt like it was suddenly turning back on. It had been just over twenty-four hours since the two of them were so intimately sharing this bed, and now it was so clear that she had been in a daze.
You are being drugged. You are in danger. You are not a part of this household in any meaningful way.
“Shut up!” she shouted to herself, the sound muffled as she slammed her head into the pillow she still cradled. The heat and muscle aches in her body intensified. Her head was so heavy she didn’t think she could stand up. Shivers ran down her arms from the sweat clinging to her body.
“I’m sick,” she said to herself before screaming into the pillow she held against her, her head throbbing more in response.
No, no. You are not sick. You are in withdrawal. Get up, get up, and get out of this house.
She was in a tug-of-war with herself. Her body was on fire andclinging to the life she had been living for the past couple of days. Her mind, however, was awakening. It was fighting back, no longer stuck behind a fog. Hadley was beginning to listen.
Run. Get out. Go.
With all her energy, Hadley swung her feet off the side of the bed and pulled herself out of the blanket. She stood up, not fully able to raise her head without searing pain shooting in between her eyes. She’d had hangovers that felt similar to this after going out to parties with Hector, but attempting an escape at the same time pushed a sense of defeat into her. Hadley’s body quivered, and she was about to fall right back into the sheets.
Move. Move your feet.
Right, that’s what she needed to do. She accepted the command from the back of her mind, comprehending that with every passing minute, the tug of her body, the love and addiction that held her to this house, was fading.
In little more than lingerie, Hadley stepped softly until she walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Her breathing quickened as she could hear staff walking around and lightly chatting with one another downstairs. Would anyone say anything? Would someone try to stop her?
She hadn’t seen anyone other than Amis from the group at the barbeque since the ceremony, and Hadley could probably assume that those were the people to watch out for. She exhaled, letting thoughts of Saul and the harm he likely had meant for her on the night of the masquerade enter her mind.
