Page 209 of Crimson Promises
I knew that ending Azrael would not bring Jos back and would not fill the void in my heart. It would only be a hollow victory, a fleeting satisfaction in exchange for the price of my soul.
For even shadows can find the light.
The line from the prophecy suddenly filled my mind. The universe presented me with the opportunity to choose a fork in the road. One was a path of redemption, love, and light; the other was dark, dangerous, and full of hatred.
Azrael will never change, never truly feel empathy or regret for ending the life of Joshua Fidus. I took in a deep breath and exhaled.
With a trembling hand and a heart heavy with the weight of my decision, I lowered the dagger. I was surprised at the feeling of surrender that enveloped me, a relinquishing of the darkness that had gripped me for so long.
Eventually, Azrael’s actions would catch up to him. But it would not be by my hand. At least, not right now. Somehow, someway, Azrael will be on the receiving end of all of the trauma and torture he caused me and so many other Ordinaries. But I was done existing in the memories of my past. Jos and my mom wouldn’t want that for me.
Aurora and I already had Lucifer to deal with. Now wasn’t the right time to add more names to our list of enemies. I made her a promise, and I was serious when I told her I would keep it.
Hopefully, this decision proved I had chosen Aurora over revenge, love over hatred. Whether that choice would lead to redemption or further challenges remained to be seen, but it was a choice I knew that I would never regret. She had believed in me when I hadn’t believed in myself, and I couldn't bear to disappoint her. Again.
As I stepped away from Azrael and turned toward Aurora, the dagger slipped from my hand and clattered to the floor.To future, love, and happiness.
Turning my attention back to Azrael he had bared his teeth slightly. “This isn’t over, Caelum. Not by a long shot.”
“I never expected that it was. For now, we’re done.”
Just as Lucifer had, the image of Azrael grew hazy, almost pixelated, as his figure disappeared from the arena.Good riddance.
I turned around, ignoring all the cheers in the arena. A few minutes ago, the spectators had rooted me on to commit murder, and now they were celebrating my refusal. I failed the task.
But none of that mattered to me. Only Aurora did.
I unfurled my hewn wings. They stretched wide and arched tall. Even they seemed to feel lighter. With a mighty leap, I pushed off the ground and drew closer to her, the distance between us closing with every passing second. Walking to her would have taken too long. The arena and its attendees faded into the background.
And then I was before her. I could see the tears glistening in her eyes, her palm pressed to her heart.
I folded my wings against my back.
She looked up at me through wet lashes. I reached out a hand, and she took it, intertwining our fingers.
I planted my hand on her hip, bringing her closer to me. I rested my chin on her head and squeezed my eyes shut.Jos, I hope you can forgive me.
"Aurora," I began, my voice low and filled with emotion. "I... I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him."
She pulled back slightly, her eyes searching mine. "Ben," she said, her voice gentle but filled with concern. "Are you alright?"
I nodded, the weight of my decision still heavy on my shoulders. "I'm... I'm better than I've been in a long time. Revenge, as much as I wanted it, would never bring Jos back. It would never fill the void in my heart that the loss of him left behind.”
Aurora's fingers brushed my cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped my eye. "I'm proud of you," she whispered. "You made the right choice."
I let out a shaky breath, feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. "But what now, Aurora? I've spent so long consumed by this need for vengeance. I don't even know who I am without it."
She smiled, her eyes filled with unwavering faith. "You're Ben. You are kind, protective, honorable, intelligent, funny when you let others in, broody and aloof, and many other things. And you're so much more than your quest for revenge. Now you get to live life for yourself.”
"I don't deserve you, but I will keep you anyway. If it wasn’t for you, I’m not sure I would have made the same decision up there,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
Her smile softened, and she pressed a gentle kiss to my brow. "Deserving has nothing to do with anything, Ben. We've all made mistakes and done things we're not proud of. What matters is what we choose to do now. And you chose to move forward, to honor your word. That isn’t nothing.”
I pulled her close again, savoring the warmth of her embrace. "I promise you, Aurora, I'll do whatever it takes to make amends for my past. I'll find a way to make things right."
She leaned her head against my chest, and I could feel the steady rhythm of her heartbeat against my own. "We'll face whatever comes, Ben. That's all that matters."
The voice, that enigmatic presence that had guided us through this trial, broke our moment. Where we were and what we were here to do slowly returned to me. Its words reverberated through the chamber, carrying a weight of significance.
