Page 224 of Crimson Promises
I could feel my heart rate quickening, the familiar tightness in my chest creeping in. It had been so long since I'd been around this many people, and the sudden exposure to the world outside felt overwhelming. My breaths grew shallow, and I clenched my fists, trying to steady myself. I leaned against the building.
I'd been through too much to back down now. So, I closed my eyes, blocking out the chaotic sights and sounds around me. I took a deep breath in, counted to four, and then exhaled slowly to the count of six. It was a technique I'd learned from a therapist when I was younger, and it had helped me through many moments like this.
Inhale... two, three, four. Exhale... two, three, four, five, six.
I repeated the process several times until my heart rate began to slow, and the tightness in my chest eased. With each breath, I focused on the sensation of the air entering and leaving my lungs, grounding myself in the present moment.
Opening my eyes, I began to notice the details of the street around me. The vibrant colors of the storefronts, the sun glistening off the glass windows of skyscrapers, the laughter of children playing, and the scent of freshly baked bread wafting from a nearby bakery. It was a sensory overload, but I forced myself to take it in, one detail at a time.
With each step I took, I continued to use my senses to anchor myself. The sensation of my feet hitting the pavement, the distant hum of conversations, the gentle warmth of the sun on my skin. I focused on the rhythm of my walking, the cadence of my breath, and gradually, the anxiety began to recede.
I needed answers and to be strong for Ben. That thought gave me purpose, a reason to push through.
With newfound determination, I opened the doors and stepped inside. It was time to begin my search for the answers that had brought me here.
* * *
The smell of musty books greeted me as I walked through the library’s entrance. It was all so familiar but somehow felt completely foreign, as if I was a stranger tramping through remnants of someone else’s life.
An overly perky voice snapped my attention to the information desk.
“Aurora, is that you?”
It was too late to hide in the safety of the stacks behind her.
I didnotneed to deal with her today.
I plastered the best fake smile I could muster and went to the circulation desk.
“Hi, Chelsea,” I said, keeping a firm grip on both straps of my backpack.
“It has been a hot minute since I’ve seen you. We’ve all been worried about why you haven’t shown up for your shifts. Jean has been beside herself.” She rearranged her impression into a slight frown.
“I’ve been dealing with a family emergency, which Jean has been notified of.” Okay, maybe that’s a lie, but she doesn’t have to know that. Jean would understand.
She gnawed on her lip. “Oh. She didn’t mention that to me.”
“Well, it is a confidential matter. I don’t believe she would be in the habit of sharing her employees’ personal business with others. Jean is a professional, not a gossip.”
Chelsea’s eyes widened in shock at my obvious implication. Her gaze scrolled my appearance from head to toe, her eyes lingering on the evident shadows on my face I had neglected to cover with any makeup. She clasped both of her hands together over her notebook.
“Well, Aurora, I hate to say it, but if I were you, I would want someone to tell me. You look like you have been through the wringer. Your clothes seem to be hanging off of you. When was the last time you’ve eaten anything? I also have some extra concealer if you want to borrow it. As you said, we areprofessionalshere, and we wouldn’t want to have anyone form a negative opinion and associate that with Jean, would we?”
“I appreciate the generosity, but it’s not required. My position doesn’t require me to be customer-facing, dealing withrare and special editions.Jean is just fine with me coming in as I am.”
I pivoted on my heel and walked away when she scraped her nail down the edge of her bright Barbie pink spiraled notebook. “Haven’t seen your hunky boyfriend around lately. Are you two still together?”
What abitch.
“I don’t see how it’s any of your business. But considering you seem to be so deeply invested in my life, we are, in fact, still together. Part of the reason for the dark circles under my eyes, once I was through dealing with the family emergency, is because I hadn’t slept all night, having some of the best sex of my life. I lost track of the number of orgasms I had.”
A giggle pulled me from my haze of red. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a freshman-aged girl standing a healthy distance behind me; she must have overheard my comment.
I turned to face an open-mouthed Chelsea and said, “It seems that you have someone who needs your assistance. If you require anything further, feel free to come find me in the back working alongside Jean,” I shot with as much condescension as I could muster.
Before I walked away, I leaned in as closely as I could. “Oh, and Chelsea, I would refrain from commenting on a woman’s appearance or inquiring about their romantic status without being prepared for the answer. Frankly, it is tacky, unprofessional, and rude. Enjoy the rest of your day.” I banged my hand on the desk and walked away with the first genuine smile I had since coming back to Arch Cape.
Jean’s office was located at the back of the library. Like most of the other rooms, it was encased in transparent glass. Even her desk and boardroom table were glass. Despite the cold appearance, she added fresh flowers every few days, hung warm scarves behind the door, and displayed elegant black and white photos of England that lent warmth. Her office overlooked the upper towers of Canmore's turrets.
