Page 223 of Crimson Promises
My feet touched the hardwood floor as I stretched my hands over my head. Bones clicked and ground together from laying in the same position for so long. My nose scrunched up at a pungent smell.Did I leave food in my room that turned moldy?As I twisted my head from one side to the other, I realized the nasty stench was me.
A shower was needed stat.
I kept Ben’s shirt clutched in my hand and cranked the water until it was scalding hot as steam filled the room.
In the shower, I braced both hands against the wall as sobs wracked my body. Water filled my lungs.
I hung my head. Every time I closed my eyes, he was all that I saw. He was everywhere.
I would never be clean from the guilt. The only reason he was gone was because he tried to protect me.
My hands should be covered with blood. They shouldn’t look so clean.
I scrubbed every inch of myself until my body was red and raw.
The towel hung limply around me as I used the corner to wipe the steam-covered mirror.
My once vibrant features were pallid, gaunt even. My cheeks, which used to carry a healthy flush, were sunken and hollow. The weight I'd lost with Ben in the Threshold of Whispers was evident in the sharp angles of my jaw and collarbone.
But my eyes had the most striking change. Dark circles had taken up residence beneath them, like smudges of charcoal. Once bright and full of life, my irises appeared dull and haunted. The vibrant blue of the ocean faded to chips of ice as though the very essence of me had been drained away.
I reached up to touch my face, tracing the lines of exhaustion that had etched themselves into my skin. My fingers trembled as they ghosted over my reflection, as though expecting to feel something other than the cold, unyielding glass.
The events of the past weeks had taken their toll, leaving me physically and emotionally drained.
I tore my gaze away from the mirror, unable to bear the sight any longer. I splashed cold water on my face, hoping it might wash away some of the weariness that clung to me. But as I looked at the mirror one last time, I couldn’t escape the feeling that the girl staring back at me was a different person entirely. A person forever changed by all that happened in Hell.
I gripped the side of the sink. My skin looked the same pallor as the white ceramic.
I needed a plan to find out what happened to Ben. I refused to give up. He could have left me alone in Hell, but he didn’t. He came to get me. If he was alive…or gone, I deserved to know and to say goodbye properly. Come Hell or high water, I was going to get answers, and if the Devil himself thought he could stand in the way, then he would highly regret the day he ever witnessed myaurumflashing across his mind.
That was it….
Lucifer.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt the corner of my lip tip up in the ghost of a smile.
Ben had been convinced that Lucifer spelled the book that had almost swallowed me whole. He had said it was demonic and tainted with dark magic. It was attracted to the unique levels ofaurumrunning through my veins, and I hadn’t even accepted my powers yet.
Unless Lucifer had removed the spell, which seemed highly unlikely, I could use that to summon him. He would know what happened to Ben. And he needed me alive, to be used for his plans, and would not let any harm come to me. I had things he needed—no,wanted—that I could bargain with. He wouldn’t turn me down. He couldn’t.
If he dared refuse, that book mentioned a vow between Lucifer and his followers. I would be happy to borrow it from Canmore’s hands and find what other secrets of his were written down, waiting to be discovered.
Finally, I had a purpose. Something to cling to that could ease the aching hole in my heart.
Dressed in my clothes for the first time in I didn’t know how long, I threw on some jeans, a loose-fitting blue striped button-down top, and a pair of ballet flats. I wrapped my strands up into a bun.
I grabbed my backpack and shoved my laptop, notebook, charger, and granola bar inside. Did I even need to eat now? I remember Ben saying they could but didn’t need to. It was more to keep up with appearances.
My stomach twisted at the thought. I know nothing about how to navigate any of this.
All the more reason to get to Canmore sooner than later.
* * *
I managed to sneak out of the building through the side entrance without dealing with Vic’s inquisition. I could have taken the car but decided the fresh air would do me some good. The bustling streets of Arch Cape stretched out before me as I stepped outside.
I was determined to find answers. But as I stood there, surrounded by the flow of people, the noise of traffic, and the sheer humanity of it all, a wave of anxiety washed over me.
