Page 68 of One More Heartbeat
“You’ll learn.” Zara’s tone is the calm of a lighthouse beacon during a storm. “You’re gonna be a great father. Youarea great father.” Her arms go around my shoulders, and she hugs me tight.
I loop her waist with my arms, pulling her close. Holding her like this feels so good but also so wrong. She’s my best friend, and I can’t afford to screw things up between us. Not now, when I need her the most. Not ever.
I release her and step away, ignoring my body’s indignant rant to the tune ofWhat the hell is wrong with you?
The toddler swing’s momentum has slowed, and Peony is watchingZara and me with an expression I can’t read. An expression beyond the frustrated crease of her brow at how the swing is no longer moving.
“Can I swing you?”
She doesn’t reply, and I give the chair enough of a push to get it going again.
The frustration falls from her face, replaced with a smile. I don’t kid myself this time into believing her toothy grin is directed at me.
Zara pats my arm in support. “Your daddy is great at pushing the swing, isn’t he?”
A self-depreciating laugh rumbles from me. At least someone appreciates the skill I’m rocking. “Maybe this is my new superpower.”
Zara chuckles. “Maybe. But I seem to remember you were good at pushing me on the swing when I couldn’t figure out how to coordinate my body to get the swing moving.”
She was seven at the time, and I could barely push her without landing on my ass every time.
“I was good at that, wasn’t I, Golden Girl?” I gently shove her arm.
Her answering throaty laugh sends a rush of heat to my groin, and I silently curse my idiotic body.
24
GARRETT
Small,staccato barks come from one of the nearby houses. Three little kids under the age of five, who showed up at the playground a short time ago with their parents, run around the artificial grass, shouting and pretending to be airplanes.
Peony squats at the top of the little kids slide and drops onto her ass. Zara is up there with her, like she has been for the past seven times Peony slid down. The warm May breeze kisses the exposed skin on my arms and brushes a coil of Zara’s hair against her cheek.Lucky coil.
Before Zara can get into position, with Peony on her lap, Peony twists so she’s on her stomach. Like she saw one of the other kids do a few minutes ago.
“Wait a second, Peony,” Zara says as she lowers her ass onto the slide platform.
But Peony doesn’t wait. She wiggles her body far enough onto the slide for gravity to take over, and slowly slides, giggling, feet first. Her arms are stretched in front of her, pointing up the slide.
Unlike the previous seven times, when she slid down the slide with Zara, I catch her as she gets to the bottom. I don’t have a choice.
I hold my breath, bracing for her reaction. Hoping for the best. I’mpushing her boundaries just a little, testing if it will take us a step closer to her accepting me.
Taking care not to scare her, I scoop her up under the arms and swing her high in the air. Her resulting laughter is the sweetest thing.
Pride swells through me, temporarily replacing my earlier fear. She’s my daughter. Really my daughter. She doesn’t belong to some guy Kenda didn’t want to see again or didn’t want to be the father of her child. She’s mine, and I plan to do everything in my power to be all she could ask for in a father.
Even though I have no clue what I’m doing.
“You ready to go home?” I ask Peony. “It’s almost your bedtime.” Right after Athena gives her a bath.
I lower her to the ground. I may have made some headway, but I can’t assume she’s fine with me carrying her yet. That won’t help me gain her much-needed trust. She needs to be the one who chooses who carries her home.
Zara slowly slides down next, arms raised like she’s on a roller coaster. “Wheeeee!”
The earlier pride in me twists into something entirely new. For Zara. Her animated expression. The way she looks so free and joyful, her inner child coming out to play. All this combined…there’s something just so freaking adorable and sexy about her like this.
And super comical.
