Page 102 of One More Heartbeat
Except Kenda is Peony’s mother, and Garrett will never love me the way he loved her.
But Kenda is dead, and you’re the one he’s kissing.
Yes, for the dopamine rush and stress release. With everything going on—the spondyloarthritis diagnosis, the expansion, the delays because of the burst water pipe, planning the grand reopening, talking to local women-owned small businesses about possible partnerships—anything that reduces my stress level is greatly appreciated.
Especially when stress is the trigger that causes my SpA symptoms to worsen.
And worsening symptoms will screw up my ability to function.
Further adding to my stress…
It’s a never-ending cycle. One I’m trying not to get caught up in—a tornado that never dies. Always spinning, spinning, spinning.
Athena walks into the living room. Her gaze falls on me and a small frown wrinkles her forehead. I can’t tell if she’s jealous I’m sitting next to Garrett, or if she’s frustrated with me for some other reason.
“Hi, Athena,” I say a little too brightly.
She nods like she’s been doing since we first met. Resigned. No doubt wishful I would just flutter away like a bug caught in a stiff breeze, even though I’ve given her no reason to feel that way. A small smile tilts on her mouth, but I can’t tell if it’s genuine or if it took effort to plaster it onto her face.
Garrett is busy reading the book to Peony and doesn’t notice Athena’s reaction to me.
There’s nothing I can do about the situation. She’s Peony’s nanny, and Garrett needs her if he plans to finish his book on time. It’s not like she’s done anything wrong. So, hell if I’m rocking the boat. Not at the risk of capsizing it. She adores Peony and Peony adores her back, and that’s the most important thing.
I dunno. Does she have a thing for Garrett? Does she see me as competition?
I almost snort a laugh at that. The last thing I am is competition. Sure, Garrett and I are kissing, but we’re not a couple. We’re just friends—and that’s all he sees me as. His friend.
Garrett finishes the story and closes the book. “Bedtime, little flower. Say good night to Zara.”
Peony waves at me. “Night-night, Za-wa!”
“Good night, sweetheart.” I wave at her, and while Garrett and Athena put her to bed, I check my social medias.
Garrett, Peony, and I usually go for a walk in the evenings, but I went for a walk on my own earlier, since they were at his parents’ place for dinner.
He returns to the living room alone. “It’s nice out. I thought we could go in the backyard.”
Guilt and shame thicken in my throat, making it difficult to swallow. I’m not the only one stretched well beyond their limit. Yet here he is, taking time from his busy writing schedule to help me because my body is at war with itself. “You sure you have time for this?”
“I’m sure. Besides, it benefits me too, after spending the day with my ass in the chair. It wouldn’t hurt to learn a few yoga poses.”
Garrett grabs a bath towel to use as a yoga mat, and we head outside.
We walk down the stone path to the section of the garden that’s out of view of the house. The grassy spot is peaceful, with a wooden bench to one side, currently in shadow from the nearby trees. Flower beds skirt the rest of the area, other than where the tall hedge separates this part of the garden from the one closest to the house.
Quiet and secluded, it’s the perfect spot for practicing yoga.
I slowly inhale a lungful of crisp mountain air, clearing out some of the cobwebs that have made themselves at home in my body with the spondyloarthritis.
I’m releasing the air when Garrett turns to me. His mouth is on mine before I can register what’s going on.
My lips part, welcoming him in. I’m vaguely aware of dropping my yoga mat onto the grass, of my arms looping around his neck, of my body pressing into his, hungry for his heat, his touch.
Hungry for his everything.
Our kiss deepens, and our tongues wrestle and stroke, taste and devour. Every part of me tingles with need. Want. Desire. I moan softly into his mouth, never wanting the kiss to end. Desperate to stay in this bubble forever.
This kiss and the other ones from him are exactly like I had dreamed about all those years ago, when the yearning for my bestfriend became as real as the sunset, as real as the mountains gazing down at us.
