Page 168 of One More Heartbeat
“Alive. Recovering. Desperate to go home.” I flash him a pleading expression, as if that’s all it will take to make it happen.
“Sorry, can’t help you there. Wish I could.” He walks to the other side of the bed and hugs Serena. “I’m not the only one who hauled their ass here,” he tells me.
Jerome’s here as well?
But it’s not Jerome who walks in and sends my traitorous heart into a frenzied tailspin.
Garrett. He’s here. And the lines of exhaustion creasing the corners ofhis eyes are even deeper for him than they are for my brother. But that’s hardly surprising. His daughter was missing for four days. All things considered, he looks great.
Too great.
I can’t tear my eyes away from him.
Wait. Whatishe doing here? The last I heard, Peony flew home to be reunited with him. Maybe I’m imagining he’s standing in my hospital room, next to my bed. Smiling at me. Or maybe it’s a side effect of the anti-inflammatory meds the rheumatologist put me on.
I move my hand under the blanket and pinch myself. I barely notice the pressure, but it’s enough to prove to myself Garrettishere. The fact that I can smell the floral arrangements from friends and family and Garrett should also tell me I’m not imagining things or suffering from a delusion.
I keep staring at him, my body remembering how it felt when he touched me, how his talented fingers and tongue and other body parts made me fall apart in his arms. How he fell apart in mine. The great way he smells. The warmth of his breath when he laughs against my neck. How easy it is to talk to him. How I smile more when I’m with him than I do with anyone else. How I feel like the best version of myself when he’s around.
Neither of us speaks. We just stare at each other, an odd tension vibrating the air molecules between us.
Someone clears their throat. Probably my brother.
I blink myself back to the hospital room. “Where’s Peony?”
“She’s at home with my mother.” The deep rumble of Garrett’s voice spreads over my body, slightly easing some of the pain. He really is here.
He nods at my cousin. “Hey, Serena.”
“Garrett.” Serena’s teasing grin doesn’t fool me, and I silently curse myself for telling her about the orgasm part of my previous treatment plan.
Garrett kisses my brow, and I almost swoon at his scent. “I was so scared when I found out you and Peony were missing.” He cups the non-injured side of my face and strokes my cheek with his thumb.
His familiar calloused skin feels deliciously warm against my face. Ilean into his palm, inhaling him once more, indulging in the Garrett addiction I can’t seem to get away from.
“Maybe we should give the two lovebirds privacy,” Serena tells my brother. I’m not looking at her, but the smooth laughter in her tone hints at a wide grin on her face. “And make sure your parents don’t come in the room for say…um…ten or fifteen minutes.”
The length of time for Garrett to give me an orgasm.
She laughs again, the sound just short of a snicker. “Psst.” She drops the volume of her voice to a conspiring whisper. “I think this is the part where he admits that he’s been an idiot. And maybe gives her some of that treatment he’s so gifted at.”
“What treatment?” A scratching-the-head tone wraps around Samuel’s question.
Serena pats my brother’s arm like he’s being silly and ushers him from the room.
“I was afraid I’d never get to tell you…I love you, Zara,” Garrett says once the door shuts behind Samuel and Serena. Garrett’s deep, rumbly voice should hit me in all the right places with the last part. Should, but the reality of what he’s really saying sinks my heart, like a cinder block to water.
“I know.” My voice catches on itself. “You love me as a friend.” Always has and always will. Loves me as a friend but as nothing more than that.
He sits on the edge of my bed, next to my hip. “I don’t just love you as a friend, Golden Girl. I’m in love with you.” He’s looking at me like I’m the Northern Lights painting the sky in vibrant colors. The way I’ve wanted him to look at me for the longest time.
And it just makes my next words even harder to say.
“I love you, Garrett. More than you can imagine…but I can’t be with you. It wouldn’t be fair to you and Peony.” I swallow the building pain that has nothing to do with spondyloarthritis and everything to do with the chronic illness.
“What are you talking about? Peony loves you. And I love you.” His thumb caresses my cheek again, and my stomach does a silly little flip. “I’ve been in love with you for the longest time. Since before Kenda and I ended up together.”
I shake my head, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. I misheard him. That’s it. A potential side effect of the medications the hospital has me on. “No, you haven’t. You’ve always seen me as just a friend.” There’s no accusation in my tone—just me telling it the way it is.
