Page 170 of One More Truth
“Is she going to be okay?”
I lift my shoulders in a slow, weighted shrug. “Hopefully. Eventually. She’s been through a lot. It’s gonna take time.” My attention returns to Jess, but I can feel Mom’s eyes remain on me, watching, evaluating, assessing.
“You look exhausted,” she says after a beat. “Have you gotten any sleep since you found out she was missing?”
“I’ll sleep soon enough.” I went home last night after the ICU nurses shooed me out, but I didn’t sleep much. I grabbed a quick bite and a shower before heading back here.
I push out of the chair, and Mom hugs me. I didn’t realize how much I needed it until now.
Her gaze drops to Jess for a second and returns to me. “I’m worried about you, sweetheart. You’ve been spreading yourself too thin for a while now. Putting too many demands on yourself.”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
“You overloaded yourself with the festival, Wilderness Warriors, your company, volunteering at the Veterans Center, working out,” she continues as if I hadn’t just said I was fine.
“The festival is over, so you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“Until you pick up something else to bury yourself under.” Mom crosses her arms in front of her, her tone implying she thinks I’m being stubborn. “You’re running from something, Troy. Maybe it’s time you stop running before it’s too late and you break.”
I huff out an exasperated breath. “I’m fine, Mom.”
She shakes her head, a silent tutting accompanying the movement. “You haven’t been fine since Colton ended his life. What happened wasn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself. I can guarantee this isn’t how Colton would want you to live.”
“You don’t know that.” As soon as the rashly-spoken words are out, I want to yank them back. She’s right. This isn’t how Colton would want me to live. He would want me to hike the toughest trail. Have fun. Enjoy life. It’s what I would expect of him if our places were reversed.
But that’s easier said than done. Guilt is ingrained in my bones and swims through my veins. I can’t let it go like it’s nothing more than a leaf floating on a wave.
“I do know that’s not what he would want. And so do you.” Mom looks at Jess, compassion in her eyes. “I can’t believe everything she has survived through. She’s a real fighter. And I don’t mean that in a negative way.”
“She is.” I pick up Jess’s hand again and resume gently tapping ILU.
“I’m sorry I misjudged her and listened to what other people were saying.”
“It’s not me you need to apologize to,” I remind Mom.
“I know. And I plan to apologize to her once she’s conscious.” A tiny smile eases onto Mom’s face. “I know you two broke up a month ago—Simone told me—and I hope I didn’t have anything to do with that. Either way, I hope you’re planning to fight for her.”
“I am.” That’s assuming Jess lets me back in her life after I walked away because of my bruised and dented pride.
“And while you’re fighting for her, make sure you’re fighting for yourself.” Mom’s smile widens a small amount, sad like earlier but a little less so this time. “Why don’t you take a break, and I’ll sit with her for a bit.”
“It’s okay. I’m?—”
“Don’t even finish what you were going to say, young man.” Her tone is unbending, but there’s no missing the thread of amusement in it. “You’re not fine. Now go! Take a shower. Eat a meal. Go for a walk outside, for crying out loud. I’ll text you if there’s any change in her condition.” She gives me one of those mothering looks I learned as a kid to not brush off. It’s her I’m-right-and-you-know-it expression, complete with a raised eyebrow.
A low laugh rumbles deep in my chest. “Alright. You win. I won’t be long.”
66
JESSICA
October, Present Day
Maple Ridge
My mindand body are swimming through an ocean of thick,thickmud, my strokes slow and awkward. But with every few strokes I take, the mud becomes a little less dense, a little easier to move through.
My subconscious breaks the surface of whatever nightmare I’ve been trapped in. I’m buoyed into a dark place where a steady, rhythmic beeping surrounds me.
