Page 95 of I Need You Tonight
Chapter 36
Mason
The arena dressing room was empty, other than the lingering smell of sweat. I rolled out my yoga mat on the carpeted floor and began what had become my daily routine before each show. A few months ago I’d have scoffed at the idea of doing yoga. But after finding out during my latest stint in rehab what it could do for me, now I couldn’t imagine a day without it—twice a day when we had a show.
Now I no longer fucked groupies to help with the pre-show buzz. After being with Nicole, I had lost all interest in females that way. She was the only one I could think about, even though I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in four months.
After getting into the right mental space for the show, I returned to the greenroom with my mat and grabbed a sports drink from the ice chest, ignoring the beer that was also there. The temptation to have one still tormented me daily, but the bracelet on my wrist that Nicole had given me reminded me why I couldn’t have it. I had hurt too many people when I’d struggled with the depression that had almost cost me my life. I had no intention of ever going there again.
The downside of the bracelet was that it provided a daily reminder of the woman I still loved. But the bracelet wasn’t the only thing to have that effect on me. My last memories of Nicole were of us together on the Endless Motion tour. Everything around me each day and each night was a constant reminder of her.
Nolan was busy texting on the couch, a goofy expression on his face. I laughed. “Let me guess. Hailey?”
“What makes you so sure it’s Hailey?” he asked, still grinning. Like he had been doing ever since he proposed to her and she said yes.
“Oh, please. Who else would it be? You always have that lovesick puppy dog expression on your face whenever you’re talking to her. Like puck boy does whenever he’s talking to Beckie.” Who had joined us on tour a few times since she and Kirk hooked up at Jared’s wedding.
“Hey, I never look lovesick,” Kirk said. “It’s not in my genes.” Then his phone played the song he had programmed for Beckie, and his face lit up.
With my tongue lolling from my mouth, I panted like a puppy. Kirk flipped me the bird. Jared and Aaron cracked up laughing.
I flopped down next to Nolan on the couch and caught a glimpse of the picture on his phone. “Wow. You really have been domesticated. Now Hailey’s sending you photos of plates?” Not just any plate. It was glass with a butterfly and musical notes etched on it.
As if he were holding state secrets I wasn’t supposed to be privy to, he jerked his phone away and set it upside down on the couch so I couldn’t see the screen.
I chuckled. “Didn’t realize plates were such a secret matter.” Suddenly my amusement fizzled. “Nicole made it, didn’t she?”
Nolan nodded and picked up his phone, the screen now black.
“Where did Hailey get it from?” I asked, my tone lacking any hint of emotion—the exact opposite of how I felt. Although I had never come out and said I didn’t want to talk about her, the topic of Nicole had been off-limits ever since I was released from rehab. Which was why Nolan looked uncomfortable at my question.
“She wanted to see how Nicole was doing, and drove down to visit her,” he said. “She bought the plate at Nicole’s store.”
The door to the room opened, and our tour manager stuck his head in. “Showtime, guys.”
Nodding, I pushed off the couch and headed for the door. But Nolan’s next words made me pause. “For whatever it’s worth, she still loves you, Mason.”
I turned back to him as the other guys silently filed out of the room, giving us a second. “She told Hailey that?” Because the last time I’d talked to Zack, he had avoided the topic of his sister and her feelings about me. Which came as no surprise, given that we had man cards, not ovaries.
“Hailey guessed it, but Nicole confirmed it’s true. The question is,” he said as we stepped into the hallway, “what are you going to do about it?”
Good question. Too bad I didn’t have an answer.
We strode down the hallway to the stage entrance, energy flowing through my veins, eager to feed off the fans’ excitement. This was what it was all about. The fans. The music.
So why did it feel like that was no longer enough?
