Page 90 of I Need You Tonight
Inside the house, I grabbed a glass of milk and sat on the living room couch. The same couch I had made out on with Mason. But instead of letting those memories make me feel sadder, I pulled out theDie HardDVD. As crazy as it sounded, I felt more connected to Mason while watching it. After it finished, I switched toDie Harder.
At some point during the third movie, I must have drifted off to sleep. I woke to the vibrations from the smartphone still clutched in my hand.
Nolan had sent me a text.He’s conscious but groggy. The doctor thinks he’ll be fine. He’ll be here for a few more days.
Relief flooded me, and another round of sobs racked my body. Never before—other than when my mother died—had I ever felt so lost and confused.
None of the problems associated with gambling addictions were new to me. But, I realized, things with Mason were different from how they’d been with my father. And it wasn’t only that my father had shot himself in the head to end his life. After Mason’s first ride with a gambling addiction, he had turned his life around. He had been able to control it—until something triggered him and sent him into a downward spiral again. My father had never been able to control the beast, and it destroyed him.
I texted Nolan back, thanking him, and asked him to keep me updated. Then I sent a text to my brother:Call me!He deserved to hear about Mason from me and not find out about it through social media.
He called a few minutes later. “What’s wrong?” he said, his voice sounding like he would’ve crawled through the phone line if he could have, just to be with me.
“It’s Mason.” I told him what had happened and everything Nolan had told me. “The physician said Mason should be all right.” I didn’t mention that Mason had fallen off the deep end when it came to the gambling and drinking. I didn’t want to worry my brother any more than absolutely necessary. He was away on his tour of duty—he wouldn’t be able to help Mason this time.
I also didn’t ’fess up when it came to my feelings toward Mason. That was the last thing Zack needed to know.
We talked for a couple of minutes more, and then I let him go.
I turned the movie off and went upstairs to bed. I couldn’t fall asleep, though. I lay awake until the weak sunlight peeked through the gap in the curtains. Then I plodded downstairs and made myself an extra-strong cup of coffee. Standing at the kitchen window, I sipped the hot drink and stared numbly at the world. Beatrice’s kitchen light was also on. Familiar with her morning schedule, and knowing what I needed to do, I took a long sip of my coffee before bolting upstairs.
I returned a minute later in jeans and an oversized Pushing Limits hoodie, shoved my sneakers on, and hurried out the door with my cellphone in hand…in time to see Beatrice step out of her house with an eager Bernie. He practically dragged her out the door.
I ran across my small lawn to her adjoining lot. “Hey, do you mind if I take Bernie for a walk?”
Bernie gave me an enthusiastic woof. I took that as aYes, I’m fully on board with that plan,and held out my hand for his leash.
Beatrice grinned at me. “You know you’re welcome to walk him anytime you wish, Nicole. But is there a particular reason why you want to do that? Maybe to meet that nice gentleman down the street who likes walking his English bulldog at this time?” She winked at me, and despite everything I giggled. That nice gentleman was about sixty-five years old and had quite the crush on Beatrice, as far as I could tell.
“You’ve found me out,” I said. “I’ll be sure to tell him you said hi.”
She chuckled. “You do that.” She didn’t ask about Mason, the way she had when I first returned from touring with the band. If news about his accidental overdose had been leaked, she hadn’t heard it yet. Which came as no surprise. It wasn’t as if she listened to the kind of radio station that would’ve given two shits about the rock band.
Bernie and I went for a long walk, checking out the Christmas decorations and lights adorning the houses in the neighborhood. I tried to get into the holiday spirit. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get past how they reminded me of Atlantic City, with its bright lights and over-the-top decorations.
While we walked, I told Bernie about Heidi’s and my plans for the store’s grand reopening, and he daydreamed about chasing squirrels down the street. My goal of not thinking about Mason was a bust, but that was nothing new since returning to Desert Springs.
My phone chirped in my hand. Bernie stopped and looked over his shoulder in interest. I checked who was calling and my hand shook. I didn’t know why. Nolan had already told me that Mason was conscious and was expected to make a full recovery. Callie wasn’t phoning to give me bad news.
At least I hoped she wasn’t.
“Hi,” I said, forcing the word out like it was a reluctant baby bird, not ready to take its first flight.
Deciding the conversation between Callie and me could take awhile, Bernie plunked down on the grass next to the sidewalk and eyed the fake donkey guarding the baby Jesus in the manger near us. Faith and hope—weren’t they what Christmas was all about? Too bad I was fresh out of both.
“Hey, I wanted to see how you were doing,” she said, her words full of compassion. I took this as a good sign. She would have sounded more broken up if anything had happened to Mason.
I gave a short laugh, the sound more pained than filled with humor. “I’m not sure. I can’t believe he would do something like that. And I have no idea what I should do. Do I go there and see him? Do I leave him alone? I just don’t know.”
“Do you still love him?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “No matter what he did, I still love him. I’m trying not to, but so far that’s not working too well for me.”
“That’s what I thought. I figured you might want to know that Mason checked himself in to rehab.”
“He did? Aren’t the guys still touring?”
“They’ve canceled the rest of their dates for the next month. Then they’ll wait to see what happens. If he’s out by then, they’ll resume touring.” She didn’t sound too disappointed that the band would be taking an extended break. And I doubted Logan would be too disappointed either.
“Can I visit him?” I blurted out without thinking.
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted after a heartbeat. “I want to see him, but I don’t want to hurt him either.”
Callie let out a long breath. “I know.”
