Page 60 of I Need You Tonight
“The guys have a TV interview tomorrow,” Callie said at one point, loud enough for me to hear her over the music. “Do you want to go shopping with me?”
“You don’t want to be there for the interview?”
“Not really. I’ve been to them before in L.A. I love watching the guys, but that whole scene just isn’t for me. Besides, I want to go lingerie shopping and get something special for Jared.”
I pressed my lips together, doing my best not to laugh. “Jared likes to wear sexy lingerie?” I knew what she meant but couldn’t resist.
“Ha ha. Very funny. But you have to admit that guys love their women in sexy underwear. It’s a massive turn-on for them. And you could get some for Mason to…um, admire.”
My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. “Why would I want to get Mason underwear to admire?”
“Seriously? You have to ask? It’s obvious you two have a thing for each other.”
“We don’t have a thing for each other.”
She laughed shortly. “So how is it in Delusional Land? Is the view nice?”
“Honestly, there’s nothing going on between us. He’s my boss. Nothing more.” A boss I kissed before every concert, but that was in my unwritten job description as his personal assistant, a responsibility I had acquired after the first week on the job.
“Oh, please. I’ve seen how you look at him and how he looks at you.”
“And how is that?”
“You’re in love with him and he’s in love with you.”
I vehemently shook my head. “He’s not in love with me.”
“I knew it!” she practically squealed.
“Knew what? That he’s not in love with me? That’s kind of a given. Did you forget the part about him being my boss?”
“That’s not what I meant. You were quick to mention that he’s not in love with you, but you never said anything about not being in love with him.”
Busted.“You didn’t give me a chance,” I quickly pointed out.
“Give me some credit, Nicole. I’ve seen the way you are together. And I’m not the only one. Even Jared’s noticed. Mason looks at you like you’re his sun and he can’t imagine a day without you.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re crazy. He doesn’t look at me that way.” But that made me wonder: was that how I looked when I was around him? The last thing I needed was to let him know how I felt. This gig wasn’t going to last much longer. Renovations to the flower shop were moving along rapidly, and we were expecting to reopen in six weeks—too late for the Christmas season, but in plenty of time for Valentine’s Day.
“I’m not crazy,” Callie said. “When are you going to admit to yourself you feel the same way about him that he feels about you?”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is.”
I glanced back at the stage, where Mason was doing the thing he loved most—his job. “You’re okay with the man you love doing this.” I gestured at the stage. “But this life isn’t for me. I love traveling with them, but that’s because I know it’s not going to last forever. It gets tiring with all the long hours on the road. The rushing to interviews. The late nights.” The screaming fans who hung out at the radio stations, eager for a glance at their favorite musicians. The living on the bus with five men and not getting much privacy.
“I know that you and Hailey don’t tour with the band,” I continued. “You have your lives back in L.A. But I couldn’t do that either. I couldn’t stay home and only see him every month or two, and even then just for a few days. I admire you two for being able to balance it all and still be there for the men you love. I wish I could be like you.”
Callie let out a sigh that I had no idea how to interpret. She watched the guys for a moment before saying, “It’s not easy. None of it’s easy. But I love Jared, and I couldn’t imagine him giving any of this up for me. It’s his life….I know Logan and I are his life too, but I want him to have this for as long as he can. I had to give up my dreams once, when Logan came into my life. I never want that to happen to Jared. And as long as we can make it work, I’ll do what I can to be the supportive wife he deserves.”
She smiled at me, the gesture warm and filled with understanding. “But I also know what you’re saying. It is tough, and this life isn’t meant for everyone. But when it comes time to leave the band, will you be able to walk away so easily?”
I laughed, the sound more bitter than amused. There would be nothing easy about leaving Mason, but it was something I had to do. And eventually I would move on and find love again…hopefully…maybe. “No,” I admitted to her. “But I’ll have to.”
I could feel my heart starting to splinter, and had to remind myself that I was being ridiculous. Anything to keep the damage from becoming too great. Despite what Callie had claimed, Mason wasn’t in love with me. Whether or not I was willing to be the ideal girlfriend to a rock star was irrelevant in the end.
All I could do was focus on my job and enjoy my final weeks with the band and with Mason.
