Page 92 of My Song for You
“It’s okay,” I said. “He’s been busy because of the entertainment show tonight.” Which Hailey had told me about two hours ago. The band had flown out to New York City this morning, and she’d invited me over to watch it with her. I’d told her I’d think about it, but then decided to visit my old friends back in San Francisco.
I walked outside and said goodbye to Logan. “I’ll see you in two days. Okay? And maybe if you’re good, Grandma will let you watch Daddy on TV tonight.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “Daddy’s on TV?”
“Pushing Limits will be performing on TV live. You’ll get to see Daddy play the guitar. Won’t that be cool?”
Logan nodded enthusiastically. “Daddy is cool.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “You’re right. He’s very cool.”
I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. This was the first time in three years I’d be away from him. Not surprisingly, the thought of that made my stomach do backflips, ending with an unimpressive belly flop.
The first thing I did when I arrived in San Francisco was drive to my old university. My appointment with the counselor wasn’t for another forty minutes, so I wasted time wandering around, visiting all the familiar places.
At first I figured that I’d be plagued with memories of happier times, back when I was dating Chris. He had meant the world to me then. Funny how small that world had really been. The world with Jared was more vast and fulfilling. Chris had held me back. Jared encouraged me to not confine myself to what was sitting in front of me, which was exactly what I’d been doing with the graphic design degree. I had been doing it because I believed that was what I had to do. I’d never considered what was really important to me. I’d never considered what I loved.
Instead of memories about Chris, I revisited memories of Jared. Even on the campus grounds, where he had never been before, Jared was everywhere. A group of guys kicking a soccer ball around the green space reminded me of those times he and I had played soccer with Logan. A tree reminded me of the tree house in his parents’ backyard, and that in turn reminded me of Jared’s smile and his heart-melting dimples. A couple walking together nudged a memory, fuzzy until now, of Jared walking me home from the lounge and singing to me. God, I loved his voice. The voice the world was deprived of because Jared hated being in the limelight. Which was kind of ironic when you considered he was the guitarist of a rock band. A rock band that I was positive would be hitting the big-time with their new album.
No way could he avoid the limelight after that.
I walked past a guy sitting on a bench with his girlfriend. He was playing guitar, his eyes closed as he poured out his emotions through the music. He opened his eyes, and the love she clearly felt for him was mirrored back. God, what I would have done to have Jared look at me that way.
Hehaslooked at you that way before,a voice in the back of my head whispered.You were just too blind to see it.
I rolled my eyes. I hadn’t been blind. I had just been honest with myself.
I ignored the laughter echoing in my head. Then realized it wasn’t coming from the voice in my head. It came from the girl with her boyfriend. And that made me miss Jared even more.
I hurried away from them.
After my appointment with the counselor, I drove to my friend’s apartment. She was having a party tonight but told me I was more than welcome to stay for a few days. She had graduated with a degree in illustration and was prepared for my billion questions.
I knocked on her door. The familiar strains of a Pushing Limits song leaked from the apartment, and I sighed. I wasn’t going to get a break, was I? I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, I could go for an hour without thinking about Jared. The universe was currently laughing at me and having a great time at my expense.
The door opened. “Callie,” Samantha shrieked. She threw her arms around me and hugged me like old times. Before I could say anything, she grabbed my arm and dragged me inside. Her place was exactly as I remembered. The tables were cheap and scratched. The couch had faded to a weird shade that was best described as rusty orange, but it was more comfortable than it looked. At least it had been when I used to go to school here.
At least fifteen people were crammed in the small living room. Some were sitting on the chairs or couch. Others were sitting on the floor. The rest were standing. The only thing they had in common was the large flat-screen TV. All eyes were directed at it.
“You’re just in time for the new Pushing Limits song,” Samantha said.
Oh, joy.
“Oh my God, it’s them,” a girl on the floor squeaked as the five guys entered the TV studio and waved to the off-camera audience. “They’re so hot and fuckable.”
“And you know this from experience?” the guy sitting next to her said with a smirk.
She shoved his arm hard. “Of course not. But you can tell they are, and I’ve read the fan pages.”
Ah, yes, the fan pages Hailey had warned me about. She told me not to believe anything written on them when it came to the guys and sex. Most of it was made up. I didn’t ask her how she knew…or why she’d been reading the comments to begin with.
“I want to have Nolan’s babies,” a girl with a blond pixie cut said. “They’d be soooo adorable.”
“He has a girlfriend,” I blurted out. “And I’ve heard they’re very much in love.”You’re welcome, Hailey.
“That’s too bad.”
“Jared’s still available,” another girl said. “He’s super-hot too.”
