Page 62 of My Song for You
After we finished with dessert, Jared drove us home. It was already past Logan’s bedtime when we arrived. As was the usual routine now, we both got him ready for bed, and Jared read him three picture books.
“So when are you going to show me the pictures that Logan mentioned?” Jared asked, after we tucked him into bed and left his room.
“You really want to see them?” The tension between us was thick. I was practically bursting at the seams to touch him, but I was also curious to see what he would think about my artwork. Nervous but curious.
“Of course. I agree with my mom. You’re a talented artist, Callie. I’d hate for you to give that up.”
Easy for him to say. Would things with the band still have been as they were for him if Alexis hadn’t lied about the abortion? Would he still have had time to write songs and perform? Or would he only have been able to just play around with the guitar from time to time?
“They’re in my bedroom.”
Jared followed me into the room. I indicated for him to sit on the bed, then retrieved the stack of printed digital artwork from my closet. I had created them after my parents and Alexis died. Logan was the only person who had seen them.
Some were pictures of kittens, puppies, chubby birds and owls, rabbits, and mice. The animals in the earlier pictures had large, sorrowful eyes. The later ones were of animal families doing fun activities together, like having a picnic or paddling a rowboat—stuff I used to do with my family. Those were Logan’s favorite.
Jared leafed through the thick stack of paper. “Wow, these are amazing. Logan’s right. They do look like they could be from a picture book.”
“Thanks.”
“Have you considered doing this professionally?”
“I don’t think there’s a huge demand for it.” Not unless I wanted to be a starving artist. Eventually my parents’ life insurance money, their savings, and the money I got when I sold their house would run out. The rent on this apartment and Logan’s preschool and medical expenses weren’t exactly cheap.
“I was thinking more like an illustrator for children’s books,” Jared said.
“I don’t know….”
He studied my favorite picture. In it, a boy fox and a girl rabbit were hanging out in their tree house. The corners of Jared’s mouth curled up, and for a moment all I could think about was tasting those perfect lips.
“Do you enjoy doing them?” he asked, snapping me out of my lust-filled moment.
“Yes.” That was an understatement.
“More than being a graphic designer?”
I nodded. I didn’t mind graphic design, but it wasn’t where my heart lay. It didn’t mean the same to me as music meant to Jared, or as my artwork meant to me.
“I’m not saying you have to give up your plans to be a graphic designer. Not unless you want to work in the diner for the rest of your life. But I think you should at least give being an illustrator for kids’ books a chance.” He placed the pictures on the bed. “You’re too talented an artist to abandon your dreams,” he murmured, his breath warm against the shell of my ear. “You just need to adapt them to make the most of what you have.”
The tip of his tongue traced the outer edge of my ear, and I groaned. It had been three years—threeverylong years—since I’d last had sex. The closest thing to sex that I’d enjoyed during that time was the erotic romance novels my friends in San Francisco had introduced me to. And let me tell you now, they weren’t all that satisfying. It was like showing a delicious cake, complete with mounds of whipped cream and chocolate, to someone on a diet, and telling her she couldn’t have any. Not even a bite.
Jared’s lips trailed a hot path along my jaw, then gently pressed against my mouth. He pulled back slightly and tenderly grabbed my lower lip between his teeth.
I moaned and parted my lips, begging for his tongue to invade my mouth. Understanding my silent pleas, he stroked his tongue against mine. Warmth spread through my body, aiming for the spot between my legs that had threatened a lifelong strike if a man didn’t touch me there soon.
I threaded my fingers into his hair, keeping him close. I knew what I desired, but what about Jared? Sure, guys loved sex, but if we went there, it would only further complicate our situation.
Or would it?
Jared had wanted to see if we could make things work when it came to our relationship with Logan, and he wanted to see where that might take us. Did that include sex?
“Do you know the last time I fucked someone?” I blurted out.Really smooth, Callie.
Jared blinked. “Excuse me?”
“Three years. Not that I’m counting or anything.” Because I was. “I mean, I should’ve been able to,” I rambled on, like a train that hadn’t been maintained in God knows how long. If I didn’t stop now, I’d be facing a train wreck instead of great sex. “It wasn’t like Logan could have heard anything.” I giggled nervously. And because this train wreck wasn’t happening fast enough, I had to add, “Do you have any condoms with you?”
He took a step back, possibly ready to make a break for it. “Wait a second. What are you talking about?”
