Page 15 of My Song for You
I squirmed again, suddenly feeling like I was being interrogated—on the train tracks, and unable to stop the train rapidly heading in my direction.
“Well, not really. He’s in a popular rock band. I’ve seen him on their music videos.” I might have checked him out online, but nothing that would be considered stalking…much. “The band’s debut album did well on the charts, and they’re supposed to have a new album out soon. I wouldn’t be surprised if it does even better than the last one. The band’s super-talented.”
Sharon smiled as the words gushed from my mouth. I slammed my lips shut before anything else tumbled out unrestrained.
“So he’s on the road a lot?”
“Yes. They toured for about a year with the first album, opening for different bands.”
“Not a great job to have if you’re a father, I would suspect.”
I shrugged. “None of them have kids. Only the lead singer has a serious girlfriend.” That had been big news a few months ago.
“Really? So Logan isn’t Jared’s son?”
I shook my head a little too fast to be convincing. “Jared and I were just friends. We’ve never had sex. I mean, we haven’t had sex together. I’m sure he’s had sex before, what with all those groupies who hang out around the band.”Palm, meet face.
Sharon’s eyebrows rose. Not in surprise—more like she didn’t believe me and was calling me out on my clumsy attempt to hid the truth. But I wasn’t lying. As much as I had occasionally fantasized about kissing Jared and having sex with him, fantasy and reality lived at different ends of the universe.
“I could have sworn they were father and son,” she said. “The similarities between them are astounding. Same wavy brown hair. Same dimples. Same face. The only difference is the eyes. Logan has your eyes.” The color Alexis and I had inherited from our mother.
I bit my lip, but then released it. I wasn’t good at lying. Not once since becoming Logan’s mother had I worried about anyone figuring out the truth. Without the side-by-side comparison of Logan and Jared, it would’ve been nearly impossible to randomly piece it together.
But if Sharon had figured it out, what about Jared? Had he spotted the similarities between himself and Logan, but because he knew he and I had never slept together, he never considered for a second that Logan was his?
I shook my head. “It’s just a fluke.”
She studied me for a long moment, then her gaze darted to the photo on the wall with Alexis in it. My rapidly beating heart climbed into my throat. I tried to swallow it back down.
“Logan isn’t your son, is he?” Sharon said, then looked back at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Of course he’s mine.” The lump in my throat made it hard to speak. The last word came out cracked.
But was he mine? Yes, I was his legal guardian, but I wasn’t officially his mother. I had never bothered to adopt Logan because there hadn’t been a reason to. As far as I was concerned, Logan was my son.
The smile on Sharon’s face was sad and full of understanding, but what she understood was anyone’s guess.
“Callie, I was a teacher and a very good one, I might add. My favorite subject was math, and something about your story doesn’t add up.” When I didn’t say anything, she continued. “You went to San Francisco, but it wasn’t you who became pregnant, was it? You and your sister share the same blue eyes. The same blue eyes Logan also has.” My hesitation was all she needed. “My guess is that Jared has no idea Logan is his son.”
My shoulders sagged. I was too exhausted to keep up with the lies. “My…my sister didn’t want him to know. She predicted he would one day become famous, and she didn’t want their child to be dragged into his lifestyle.”
“Don’t you think he has the right to know?”
“It wasn’t what my sister wanted, and I promised her I would never tell him.”
“What happened to her?” The words were soft, like Sharon had an idea but was afraid to go there. For my sake.
“She, Logan, and my parents were driving up to San Francisco to visit me. Logan was a baby at the time. A cement truck ran a red light.” I paused, the words like thistles, leaving my throat raw and scratched. “Only Logan survived,” I whispered, and coughed to clear my throat. It only aggravated the pain further. “He was called a miracle baby because when the firefighters first saw the wreck, they thought there was no way anyone could’ve survived it.”
I pulled my feet onto the chair and wrapped my arms around my legs, keeping myself together for Logan’s sake.
I let out a long breath. “Logan is all I have left after I lost everything.” Including the future I had dreamed about for so long.
“And you’re afraid you’ll lose him if you tell Jared the truth?”
I nodded. “If he finds out Logan is his son, I could lose Logan and eventually another woman will replace me as his mother. Or Jared might decide it’s too difficult raising a son, especially a son who’s deaf. What will that do to Logan? Besides, Jared isn’t like most fathers who go away for short business trips. His touring means he’ll be gone for months instead of a few days.” No matter from which angle I looked at it, no one would win if Jared found out the truth—least of all me and Logan. “No, it’s best that Jared never finds out.” My voice rang with certainty. If only my heart wasn’t so unsure about my decision.
“But what about Logan? Doesn’t he deserve to have a father? If you deprive him of his biological father and you won’t date, what does that mean for him? It would be great for him to have a man in his life who can be a positive role model.”
