Page 72 of Heat It Up (Off the Ice)
“I’d love to, but I can’t be gone that long. I need to look after Muumu.”
“It was her idea that I take you. Actually, she insisted I take you. She said you’re driving her nuts and she needs a break from you.” He chuckles. “I just think it’s her way of making sure you have a good time, Sofia, and that you get to see more of Finland while you’re here. And you wouldn’t want to disappoint her, right?”
I guess this doesn’t surprise me. She also knows I wanted to check out Jyväskylä. They have an amazing sports research center at the university. I might have mentioned it a few times to her.
The boy Kyle was talking to skates off to the locker room. Kyle skates toward me. If I go to Jyväskylä, it means less time with him before the summer is over. Given the situation surrounding our relationship, it shouldn’t matter—but tell that to my heart.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Kyle
The sound of skate blades scraping against the ice fills me with the usual thrill as I cheer the two boys racing down the ice. The usual thrill combined with an overwhelming sadness that this is no longer part of my life. I don’t mean as a coach. I mean as a player. It’s the same feeling I get every time I set foot on the ice with the boys. Eventually that feeling will go away. I just wish that day would hurry up.
A weird sensation that someone is watching us pokes at me, and I look up to find Sofia sitting on a bench on the other side of the rink. She watches the boys for a minute then lifts her camera. I tear my attention from her and go back to coaching my group. Pride charges through me at how hard they’re working.
The pride shifts to concern as I watch Kai go through the drill, but unlike with the other boys, his heart isn’t in it. The opposite to when he first began the camp. He was the most driven player back then.
After the last player has gone through the drill, Nik and I organize them into a quick game. I do my best not to look at Sofia even though seeing her makes me feel lighter. Lighter than I’ve felt in a while. When we were stranded at the cottage three weeks ago, it was as if the anger I struggle with over what happened last year had temporarily burned away. And it wasn’t due to the marathon sex session that came from not having much else to do. It came from the hours of talking to Sofia, playing our True and False game, sharing abstract physics facts that popped into my head. It came from the hours of laughing with Sofia. It came from holding her. She’s a small burst of sunlight between thick gray clouds.
Nik’s yelling snaps me back to the game in time to witness my team score. Ignoring the growing ache in my leg, I jump up and down, cheering the guys on the ice and high-fiving the ones on the bench.
The game ends and Sofia is still sitting on the other side of the rink, watching us intently. I want to join her but can’t yet. There’s something important I have to deal with first.
Nik dismisses his boys. They whoop and holler and skate toward the change room. I call mine over.
I high-five them as they approach the bench. “Great game guys. Your slap shots are really coming along. Remember to transfer your weight from your back leg to your front leg, and then to your stick as you hit the ice. Does anyone know why you want to hit the ice and not the puck?”
They exchange curious glances, waiting to see if anyone else knows the answer, already knowing that they’re about to get another physics lesson.
“By hitting the ice, you bend the stick like a bow. This stores up extra energy. When the stick snaps off the ice, there is a transfer of stored up energy from the ice to the puck. This causes the puck to shoot forward. The more stored energy, the greater the momentum of the puck.”
“Why can’t you be my physics teacher?” Mikko says. “You at least make physics interesting.”
I smile at the unexpected compliment. “Physics is interesting when you’re able to apply it to real life examples that mean something to you.” I dismiss them, and with excited chatter, they skate to the other side of the rink.
Kai follows them, not interacting with anyone like he did the first few weeks of camp. He’s shutting down. I recognize the feeling.
Before he disappears into the locker room, I call his name. He looks back and I gesture for him to join me.
He glances at the last of the boys as they step off the ice, then skates over, avoiding the ruts in the surface. “You want to talk to me?”
I indicate for him to sit on the bench and I sit next to him. “You wanna tell me what happened out there?” I keep my tone casual, nonjudgmental.
He doesn’t look at me or say anything. He just fiddles with his stick.
“You know, talking about it might help.” When he still doesn’t say anything, I go for a different approach. “It’s obvious something’s bothering you and it’s not healthy to keep it bottled up. You need to tell someone you can trust.” And if it isn’t me, then hopefully he has someone else he can turn to.
He continues fiddling with his stick. I don’t say or do anything. I wait for him to decide what he wants to do next.
He eventually stands but continues to avoid eye contact. “I have to go.” He steps onto the ice and skates toward the locker room. I don’t join him. I leave Nik to deal with the guys and slowly skate across the ice to Sofia. She’s staring at her phone, contemplating something.
“Hey, you okay?” I ask.
She slips her phone into the front pocket of her backpack. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she says, avoiding my question.
“Is something wrong?” I nod at her bag.
She bites her lip and I can tell she’s deliberating how much to tell me. She glances at her bag. “Joni asked me to go with him to his cousin’s wedding. Lovisa was supposed to be his date but she can’t go now.”
