Page 54 of The Queen and the Half-blood
“No, you aren’t.” He placed a steadying hand on her shoulder. “Breathe.”
“I am,” she snarled.
“Slowly.” He ignored her venom. “Draw air in deeply through your nose … into your belly, not your chest.” He paused for a moment, waiting until she complied. “Hold it for a few moments … and let it out slowly.”
Choking down the urge to snap at him again, Lara obeyed. At first, it was hard; it felt as if a boulder sat on her chest. But then, her ribcage gradually loosened.
Breathing slowly and deeply, she lowered her gaze, focusing on where their knees nearly touched on the sheepskins. Her cheeks then started to burn. The Reaper take her, she’d just humiliated herself.
“Am I that terrifying?” he asked gently.
She swallowed hard. “It’s not you.”
A pause followed. “Dunchadh?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. Just the memory of her first husband’s brutal hands and rending prick made her break out into a cold sweat—even three years on.
Silence followed before Alar gently took hold of her chin. He then raised her face so she met his gaze. “I heard the rumors about him.”
She licked suddenly dry lips. “Rumors?”
His grey eyes glinted. “Aye … that he liked it rough.”
Lara jolted before jerking free of his touch. She then lowered her gaze once more. “So, you know?”
“Aye … and I shall tell you this. It wasn’t your fault.”
Her chest tightened once more, her breathing coming in shallow gasps now. She hadn’t expected him to ever say something like that; it confused her. Was there actually some decency in him?
“Look at me, Lara.”
With an effort, she obeyed.
His gaze was deadly serious now. “We don’t have to do this.”
Her chest heaved. He was giving her a way out, and she longed to take it, but there was no escaping her obligation. “We must lie together,” she managed. “Or the Gods will curse us.”
He gave a soft snort.
“They will!”
“I didn’t realize you were so devout.”
She swallowed hard. How she wished she weren’t, but her mother had brought her up to respect The Five in all things, and to fear their wrath. She and Alar were handfasted, and the Gods were waiting for them to consummate their union. The Mother and The Maiden would withhold their blessings if it didn’thappen. She might never take back the North then. “I’d rather not lie with you … but it must be done.”
She clamped her lips shut then. Curse her, she wasn’t supposed to admit that.
Alar grimaced. “I prefer my women willing.” She didn’t answer, and he eyed her. “I repeat … we don’t have to lie together.” Something flickered across his face then, and she wondered if he regretted being so ‘understanding’ about this. If they didn’t lie together, they weren’t really husband and wife. He knew that as well as she.
“Aye, we do.”
“But you don’t—”
“Just get on with it, Alar!”
Long moments passed before he raked a hand through his hair and murmured a curse under his breath. “Are yousure?”he asked, eyeing her with exasperation.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
