Page 24 of Unforgotten
Ella smiled but didn’t reply. Indeed, she had been only too happy to enjoy her bannock, smeared with butter and rich thyme honey, in the seclusion of her bed-chamber this morning. She was dreading the noon meal, for Lady MacNichol was likely to be present.
“I’m so sorry about how she spoke to ye yesterday,” Gordana continued as the pause lengthened between them. “It was unacceptable.”
“It was … but as ye can see, she hasn’t broken me. I didn’t come to Scorrybreac for Lady MacNichol.”
“How is yermother this morning?” Gordana asked. Her gaze softened as she spoke.
“Weak … but glad to have my company,” Ella admitted. “I read her psalms earlier. She’s sleeping now … Da says she sleeps often these days.”
“Aye.” Gordana tied up the last stem of gillyflower and turned to face Ella properly. “She tires easily … I have visited her often over the past months, but she grows steadily weaker.” Gordana hesitated. “I’m glad ye have come.”
Ella dropped her gaze, moving over to a seat made from slender willow branches. Arranging the long skirts of her habit, she settled down upon it. “I wouldn’t have done,” she admitted. “If it hadn’t been for yer brother.”
Gordana didn’t reply. Instead, she too sat down upon the willow seat, her blue eyes settling upon Ella’s face in a frank look that Ella recognized. Gavin had the same look.
“Ye should know,” Gordana began gently, her face so grave that nervousness suddenly fluttered up within Ella, “that my brother has never forgotten ye.”
Ella swallowed and forced herself to hold Gordana’s gaze. Of course, Gordana had always been observant; although Ella had never spoken to her of the relationship that she and Gavin had once shared, it appeared that Gordana had guessed at their closeness, unless Gavin had confided in her.
“He has already said as much,” Ella replied, her voice tight. “I wish he would keep his feelings to himself. It’s too late to voice such sentiments.”
Gordana nodded, her gaze clouding. “I feared he’d say something … when he rode south alone to fetch ye, I suspected he would.”
Ella drew in a deep breath, her fingers curling into fists. “I wish ye had managed to dissuade him. All Gavin has done is bring up things that are best left buried.”
Sensing Ella’s agitation, Gordana reached out and placed a hand over hers. “Perhaps he just wanted to have an opportunity to reconcile.” Gordana then favored her with a sad smile. “The mistakes of the past weigh heavily upon my brother’s shoulders.”
Silence fell between the two women then. It was peaceful in the walled garden, the hush broken only by the buzzing of insects and the faint cries of gulls circling off the coast. The rest of the noise of the busy keep didn’t seem to reach them here.
Eventually, smoothing out the wrinkles in her habit, Ella spoke once more. “What of ye, Gordana … Rory has been gone many years. Why have ye never wed again?”
Gordana’s mouth lifted at one corner. “That’s another thing Ma has nagged me about over the years.” She sighed then, glancing away, a distant look settling upon her face. “After Rory died, I did try to move on … yet the men who presented themselves to me were awful.” She gave a delicate shudder. “The likes of Aonghus Budge of Islay … ye remember him?”
“Aye.” Ella pulled a face. He was a man of her father’s age, and although she hadn’t seen him in a long while, she remembered him as an overbearing individual with a lecherous gaze. “I understand why ye wouldn’t want the likes of him.”
“My other suitors weren’t much better,” Gordana replied. “I kept sending them away … and eventually what little interest there had been dried up.” She turned, meeting Ella’s gaze once more. “Truthfully, I am content alone. I have a freedom many women do not.”
“Ye could take the veil and come to live at Kilbride?” Ella suggested. “We could do with yer gardening skills.”
Gordana snorted. “My lack of piety would make the life of a nun a poor choice for me … however …” Her expression turned thoughtful as she studied Ella. “What’s it like … living in a woman’s world?”
Ella’s mouth curved. “Peaceful … and structured. We are never idle at Kilbride. There are always chores to be done. I’ve rarely felt lonely over the years … the nuns are good company … most of them at least.”
“Ye don’t appear to regret yer choice.”
“I don’t,” Ella replied. “If I couldn’t have Gavin, I didn’t want any man.” She broke off abruptly there, having revealed far more than she’d intended. Feeling her cheeks warm, Ella dropped her gaze. “I am content doing the Lord’s work.”
Gordana didn’t reply, although when Ella glanced her way once more, the gleam in the woman’s eyes warned her that she had, indeed, said too much.
“A message has come for ye, brother.”
Gavin glanced up from where he was going through his ledger of accounts, to see Blair standing in the doorway to his solar, a roll of parchment clutched in his hand.
“Aye?”
Blair approached him, holding out the missive. “It bears the MacKinnon seal,” he warned.
Gavin released a heavy breath, replacing the quill he’d been using to scratch out sums, into its pot. “What does Duncan want this time?”
