Page 25 of The Road to Home Base
“Yeah, sure,” I said as nonchalantly as possible.I knew it. I moved too fast the other night.
He reached over and popped my baseball cap from my head and then mussed my hair a little. “I like when your hair is wavy,” he confessed.
I ran my fingers through my locks. I only kept it long enough to style on top but when I didn’t use product, the hair naturally formed into lazy curls. If he liked it like that, I would never put product in it again.
I held my cap in my hands and tried not to ring it. “What do you want to talk about?”
“You’ll be gone for, what, nine days? I was hoping to figure a few things out so I’m not sitting here wondering.”
I ran one hand along my thigh and cleared my throat. “Okay. What would you like to figure out?”
“Well, it took me a hot minute to figure out you were gay. Which, I shouldn’t be surprised about because apparently I have an affinity for the macho ones. But then I realized… you’re not out, are you? I mean, I know you’re not. There isn’t one article out there about that.”
“I guess it depends on what you mean by ‘out’ exactly.” Alex’s face contorted. He didn’t like that. “My family all knows. My closest friends. Some of my teammates. But the media? No, they don’t know.”
The contortion on his face partially lifted. “You’ve got a big family. You never worried that one of them would…?”
I shook my head, adamant. “Morettis don’t betray blood.”
Alex snickered. “Your cousin said something similar. Okay, so you’re out to family, but not to the public.”
I swallowed. This was uneasy territory. “Is that a problem?”Surely you understand why the media doesn’t know.
Alex took in a long breath and let it out in a short burst. “I was in a serious relationship before we met,” Alex said. “I think you’ve probably already figured out how and why it ended.” His eye. The black eye. “He was also in the professional sports world. He was, very much so, not out. Not even to family. It caused the majority of our problems.”
I felt my body deflate. Inwardly, I berated myself for putting all these silly eggs into one basket. I should have taken this all into consideration. It’s why so many failures to launch occurred in the past.
But Alex put out a hand and grabbed my knee. Squeezed.“My ex is an MMA fighter. Different world. Not yours. The pressure to stay in the closet in that industry…”
I nodded. I understood. “That’s a lot different from my situation. My family—”
“They know,” he finished for me. He patted my knee. “I think that’s wonderful, actually. It takes a lot of courage to come out to a big family like that. In fact, that’s a big,bigfactor for me.”
“And the media? The general public? That’s an issue for you, isn’t it?”
He pulled his hand away and braced his forearms against the edge of the counter, half turning to still look at me. “Not necessarily. I understand why.” He must have seen relief play across my face. He smiled, something kind and sympathetic. “I do, Rome. I get it.” He nodded to himself. “It’s something to work on. No,that’snot a detractor.”
Because something else is. “You should know that being Catholic is—”
He laughed and my words stopped in my throat. Alex said, “Oh, no, no, that’s… God, no. Shit! Sorry! I mean…”
Alex’s cheeks burned an adorable shade of red as he dropped his head into his hands. I put my hand on his back and rubbed in a playful and patronizing way. “Use your words, Alex,” I said, my tone dripping with mock condescension.
He came up from his hands and lightly slugged me in the shoulder. “It’s not the religion thing.ThatI don’t quite understand but that’s a conversation for another time.” He spun on the stool to fully face me. He cleared his throat. Licked his lips. And boy did he then use his words. “I like the direction we’re heading and the speed we’re going. This works for me, especially since I just got out of something serious and abusive. You are, Rome, a breath of fresh air for me. Something new and exciting. You also told me that you don’t have a lot of experience. It’s not a concern but it’s something to consider.”
“I understand that. It’s been so difficult for me to find a potential partner, let alone be in a relationship. There’s all these factors and gates that have to be met, and the pool of men is… I don’t know… one of those backyard plastic pools.” I snorted and so did Alex. “I get that you’re not here to be my coach, to show me the ropes and—”
His hand shot out again, this time reaching my thigh. “Oh-ho. That is an incorrect statement, my friend. The prospect of showing you things isvery…” His cheeks burned red again and he looked away. “Well. I’m looking forward to it.But. Again, I have to reiterate, that we need to go slow, okay?” He leaned back and put on a smarmy affect. “Because once you get a taste of this, all you’ll want—”
I whacked him on the shoulder and laughed, then suddenly realized that even a playful smack could be triggering. “Oh no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I was trying to be playful. I would never,neverhit you like that.”
His hand went back to my leg. “It’s okay, Rome. I know you wouldn’t. And you can be playful, so don’t worry.” He slapped the counter with both hands and blew out air between puffed cheeks. “All right. That’s all for me. Is there anything you wanted to talk about?”
My lips twitched up into a half grin. “Feels like this is a meeting.”
Alex nodded. “Get used to it. Check-ins are important. Best way to communicate.” He swallowed and licked his lips. “If this is going where we want it to, we need to establish that foundation.”
“You got it, coach.” Azingof pleasure hit me at saying that.Oof. That’s gonna keep me up at night. The idea of him giving me direction under the sheets? Guiding me where I needed to go. What brought him the most pleasure. How I could use my body to do that…
