Page 93 of Invasive Species
“Just… don't hurt yourself,” she says with a scowl, rubbing the center of her chest. She must be feeling my pain.Drok na, but I hate this. Why are bonds real? Why can't we measure and isolate them?
Rising to his knees, Ezla wipes his face of acrid fear-sweat and takes a syringe for the sample. A sharp scratch and then an odd pressure at the base of my knotting cock lets me know Ezla succeeded in taking the biopsy.
Arra-bellah pushes her tiny hands into mine, holding on tight as if she’s the one in pain, and I keep my attention on her. Each of her winces for me burrows into my rapidly beating hearts. She cares for me, cares I’m in pain.
I cannot lose her.
Ezla eases the extraction device free and I turn away to pull my pants back on, trying to keep my voice steady. “What would you like to eat?”
She presses her lips together, a stubborn edge creeping into her expression. “Nothing, not when I’ve just woken up.”
“That’s not an option I can accept,” I reply, making my tone firm.
She flashes me a grin, a flicker of her old defiance sparking to life, and it shoots through me like a beacon of hope.
She says, “Well, coffee for sure, I need a caffeine boost. And I wish you had something like eggs.”
I wish we did too. “I can order fresh meat and iron-rich vegetables for you.”
“And make sure you get some too,” she teases, poking me lightly in the side. “You’re looking a little underfed, mister. Who’s taking care of you?”
My hearts ache at her concern for me when she’s the one suffering. “If it helps you eat. I’ll share some.”
“Deal.” She starts to reach for me, then halts her hand halfway to hover in the air between us.
“I’ve disinfected my scales, so I’m less of a threat to you,” I explain. I scrubbed them raw, until my skin felt like it was burning, trying to make myself as safe for her as possible.
“Gara… I don’t know how I know, but you’re no threat to me.” Her voice is so small, so vulnerable, it nearly shatters me. “Please give me your hand.”
I know I shouldn’t, my training lectures me harshly that it’s not worth the risk, but perhaps her certainty is bleeding over to me and affecting my reasoning, because I’m seriously contemplating it.
“Unless you’re busy,” she says, a sad pulse through our mating bond.
“Even if I were,” I whisper, my throat tight, “you would always have it.”
Her fingers curl around mine, gently at first, as though testing the sensation, then with more certainty. She holds my hand close to her chest, cradling it as if it were something precious. Her warmth seeps into me, calming the storm that rages beneath my mask.
I make the order one-handed on Ezla’s comm pad, the task feeling far less tedious with her nestled around me.
When I’m done, she clings a little tighter. “What’s the verdict? Any ideas?”
I pause, unsure of how to respond, wishing I had better news. But I can't lie to her, not now, not ever. “We’re still working on it,” I say, my voice heavy with the weight of our uncertain future. “But whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
“We’ll do it together.” Her grip tightens, just a fraction, as if drawing strength from my proximity. It could be wishful thinking, but she feels a little stronger.
Feels? I shake such notions away. I've been distracted by ‘feelings’, ‘notions’ and ‘instinct’ when I should be looking at hard data. But when there's none to be had, what's left?
“What's the story so far?” she asks.
“We think the pathogen originated from my knotting cock, hence the extractions to run tests on.” My cock still throbs from the pain of the needles and the humiliation of the extraction, but I'd endure a thousand for Arra-bellah.
Her lips wobble. “Please, don’t hurt yourself for me.”
“That's not an order I can comply with.”
Ezla brings the plates in, smiling softly as he activates a side table and sets the steaming dishes on top. He leaves with a bow of his head towards Arra-bellah.
She waves back before her attention is captured by the tantalizing scent of fragrant ricax, beans, meat and vegetables wafting from the bowls. I bring one to her, and she eats three heaping spoonfuls before falling back against my shoulder as if exhausted.
