Page 32 of Levi
“Mom—” I choke out.“Where did they take her?She hates me Mom, and I did this to us.I was the reason she was alone to give birth to our child.Me.”I wail like the seven-year-old boy who lost his parents.
I’ve never cried like this.Not even when the cops told me that both of my parents were dead.This is much worse than the marks I bare on my skin from the burning I received because of the bomb, I feel it to my core.
“It’s okay, Levi.”I think I’ve shocked my mother with this behavior.She’s rocking me as if I were a baby.“We will find them and bring them home.Saylor and the baby are safe, don’t let your mind go to a dark place.Your family needs you to stay strong.”
“I can’t, Mom.”I admit.“I need her, she’s my everything.”I continue to cry.
I must’ve fallen asleep because when I open my eyes, I have my head on Mom’s lap and she’s resting up against the wall.Feeling ashamed that I’ve broken down in front of my mother, I lift up.
“Sorry,” I murmur, and rub my sore eyes.
“Nonsense.Don’t you ever apologize for needing your mother.I only wish I’d been there when you needed it,” she says solemnly, referring to this whole mess I’ve created.
“Don’t start this again, we’ve been over this and we promised not to look back,” I remind her.“How are Grandma and Grandpa doing?”I change the subject.
“They’ve decided to stay out at their Montana home for a while.Mother hasn’t been dealing well with not having Saylor around,” Mom says.“She went up to that Police Station every day for a week, demanding to see Saylor.She was devastated when she learned about her son’s betrayal.I swear she would’ve had Daniel over her knee and a wooden spoon in her hand, had she been twenty years younger.”She chuckles sadly.“They don’t know the whole story about everything, just that Daniel didn’t help her and the baby when she was taken in.They both have been depressed about her being gone and the “pending” divorce.I told them that once the dust clears that she’ll be back and you guys would work it out.That seemed to relax them a little.”
I can only imagine the strain that all this has put on her marriage to Daniel.As much as I love to see him suffering, I hate that it’s at the expense of my mother.I had heard Lincoln and her talking about her and Daniel separating for a little while.
“You and Daniel will work things out, mom.”I try to sound genuine, but I could care less for him.He wouldn’t leave anyone unscathed if someone were to try and break his marriage up to Mom, and I feel the same.Family or not.
“I know you are only being nice but thank you anyways.”She knows how I’ll never forgive him for what he’s done.“Have you thought about telling Grandma and Grandpa the truth and letting them know everything that is going on?Grandpa might be able to help in some way.”
“I’ve thought about it but think it’s best to just let them be at their vacation home and not bothered with all this mess I’ve created.I know that they don’t need any more stress with what Lincoln and I are going through.”
They are truly heartbroken about Saylor and the baby, and I don’t want to add any more stress to them.I don’t think I could bare hurting them too.
“Has Lincoln heard anything from Everly lately?”I know the answer, but ask anyways.
“They are working things out slowly.I can only imagine that she’s a bit gun-shy to be part of this family after everything.I know that her dad has been around a lot lately.We’ve spoken a few times.”
“I’ve got to get to work; I was supposed to be there an hour ago.”Mom slowly rises up from the floor and I follow up with her.“You should have Lincoln and Reid over to stay with you some time.I know that they’d love to be able to spend that time with you.”
“Sorry for making you late,” I say.“I’ll give them a call.”
“Nothing is more important than family.Now stop drinking so much; your skin looks horrible and you don’t want to kill your liver before your wife and child come home.”
I crush her in a hug, and almost start to weep again.She has always been my biggest champion.
“Love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, baby boy.”
“Sir, we have something.”Mitch rushes into my home office with an envelope two days later.
I hold my breath as he passes it to me, and I stare down at it like it could be a bomb or contain the Holy Grail.The side has been cut open since all mail and packages have to be scanned and opened for security purposes.My hands shake and I feel a bead of sweat form on my forehead.I know this handwriting.It belongs toher.
“You’re going to want to see it, sir,” Mitch pushes, with a slight smile on his face.He knows what it contains.
Not wanting to wait anymore, I reach in and pull out several pictures, along with a small note.The first picture is of a small baby girl with a bow on the side of her full head of brown hair.Her eyes are closed and she looks so peaceful.My fingers run over her little face, noticing she has my nose but Saylor’s perfect lips.The next one is of her in a basket surrounded by a pink blanket, wearing pearls while she’s looking at the camera.
A small sob leaves my throat.She has my eyes and she’s the perfect mixture of Saylor and I.I can’t believe for one second that I had any doubts about being a father.One look at her and I know I was meant to be a dad to this little one, and any other babies that Saylor and I have in the future.
I pull the next one forward and see her tiny feet, which are probably as long as my pinky finger, and smile.She is the most delicate thing.The last photo I have is of her in a pink bow as big as her head and a matching pink tutu; Mom would definitely approve.
I look over the photos multiple times, taking her all in and memorizing every detail of her precious form.I know everyone says they have the most beautiful baby in the world, but I know for sure that it is true in this case.Christ, when she gets ready to date, I’m going to have to beat the boys off with a stick.Maybe Mitch will teach me how to shoot?
The small paper floats from the desk to my lap, and I tear my eyes away from my daughter to read it, hoping that Saylor left me some clue as to where she and my baby girl are.
