Page 70 of At First Flight
I just… never expected it to happen like this. Never expected to feel this way. It’s like everything I’ve been building up in my life, the walls, the walls I put up so carefully, are starting to crack.
And I think I might finally be ready to let them fall.
Oliver cackles in my ear as I scoop him up and make my way toward Evelyn. She grabs my hand, and we head toward the pavilion in a trail of disasters waiting to happen.
Yet somehow in the middle of the birthday battlefield, I feel… fulfilled. Like maybe I don’t have two lives anymore, just a single messy one.
And later, when the sun dips down, and the house grows quiet as the kids fall asleep, I think about Lila. Where my thoughts can take us to places she’s scared of. If only she realized how safe she’d be with me.
How I’d never let anyone take advantage of her again. How I could love her. If only she’d let me.
Chapter Fifteen – Lila
I don’t want to be here.
Currently, I’m wedged against the wall, half leaning on the high-top table, half sharing the stool with Ashvi. The lights and the music combined with the whiskey and sweat is far from the comforting smell of the coastline.
I could have done with a quiet evening. Maybe some wine, curled up on the couch with Ashvi while we caught up on everything that had happened since I’d left town. I would have happily listened to her chatter about her latest dating disaster or the new project she was working on. And I would have been perfectly content to let her show me everything she’d found on my ex, a curious distraction from the constant ache I’ve carried.
But apparently, Ashvi had other plans in mind.
The moment I stepped into her apartment, she’d practically shoved a dress into my hands, her eyes alight with excitement.
“Tonight, we’re going out, Lila,” she had said. “You’re not hiding in your shell anymore.”
And before I knew it, I found myself standing in front of her mirror, my reflection nearly unrecognizable. The dress—black, sleek, and entirely too revealing for my usual taste—hugged every curve, showing off parts of me I wasn’t used to exposing.
Ashvi had worked her magic with the makeup, giving me bold eyes that made me feel like I was wearing someone else’s face, and the waves in my hair styled in big bouncing curls, giving me an unfamiliar air of sophistication. I should have saidno, I should’ve argued. But instead, I let her guide me, and as much as I hated to admit it, a part of me was intrigued. A part of me was excited to consider how Dean would look at me if he saw me in this version of myself. Would he even recognize me? Would he like it?
“Lila,” she whines over her shoulder. “You promised you’d try to have a good time. Look, this place is filled with guys tonight.”
Yes, it is. Guys we had gone to high school with, and some guys I can tell are here for the summer. I’m not interested in either. There’s only one man on my mind, and Ashvi knows it.
“One drink? One. And then you can go back to being an antisocial scientist.”
I nod and watch her gleefully jump from the stool and dance across the worn hardwood toward the bar. With her absence, I suddenly feel… visible.
Too much so. Gazes skirt across my chest and legs. Appreciative glances, sure, but violations all the same.
Whatever band plays on the jukebox fills the room with a steel guitar. A few couples brave the dance floor, doing a version of the two-step to the twangy beat.
The Horse Shoe isn’t quite a dive, having been rebuilt about fifteen years ago after Durky’s, the previous name, met its demise to a kitchen fire. Instead of wall-to-wall wood paneling, The Horse Shoe only commits to half a wall of paneling. Strings of twinkling lights twist around the beams crossing the expanse of the ceiling, and about one hundred horseshoes of various sizes are deemed artwork.
Ashvi returns from the bar with a sheepish grin and her shoulders hunched. My alarm bells set off.
Accepting the beer she hands off, I ask, “What?” narrowing my eyes.
She adjusts the brown leather belt strapped within the loops of her denim miniskirt like she’s readying herself for battle. “Okay, so don’t be mad, but I might have told someone new in town that you’d be here.”
“Ashvi,” I scold.
“Aw, Lila, it’s just a drink,” she exclaims, hoisting herself back on the stool beside me. “He’s really nice, and he’s the new veterinarian in town. Even has some rescue dogs. And he’s wearing his sleeves rolled up to the elbow. You love it when guys do that.”
I love when Dean does it.
“I’d also love it if my best friend didn’t decide to start dictating my social life.”
With a pleading look, she says, “You’ve been back for a while now and haven’t even tried dating. And don’t even dare throwing out that you just got out of a serious relationship. It was neither serious…nor really a relationship. Please, Lila. Give him a shot.
