Page 57 of At First Flight
That isnotwhat I expected her to say.
“Ugh, eleven?” I respond in question, wondering where she’s going with this.
She pauses, taking a few slurps of her soup, and I do the same, wondering if she’ll change the subject again.
“I was twelve.” Her chuckle is low with a condescending tone as she stares down at her bowl, spoon gripped in her hand. “You know, everyone says you always remember your first kiss, whether it be awkward or clumsy. It’s a moment most girls cherish. Me? Well, I’d rather forget.”
“Why?”
“Because the boy I kissed almost died as it was happening.”
“What?” I shout, my voice echoing off the wallpaper-covered walls. Silence fills the room, and Lila’s eyes dart around. “Sorry,” I say to her just as voices start to rise again. “Please continue.”
Her breathing changes to hurried and unsteady. “You know my family harvests strawberries. In the spring and summer, my siblings and I eat them all the time. I mean, they’re delicious.
“Jacob Jeffries had been my crush since kindergarten. During the town’s spring fair, he kissed me behind the cotton candy stand. I was in heaven. My crush actually gave me my first kiss, right?
“That’s when things went downhill. And fast. In less than five minutes, Jacob’s breathing went shallow until he could barely catch it at all.
“I rushed to find his parents, and then things got even more crazy. An ambulance came and rushed him to Norfolk General. He was barely hanging on, or so I was told.
“Apparently, he had a strawberry allergy that didn’t present itself until then. I was so embarrassed and terrified. Since that moment, I knew I wanted to try to find a cure or fix of some sort for food allergies.”
My fingers curl around the spoon, the metal digging against the rough skin of my palm as I think about the damage that the incident would have caused a twelve-year-old Lila.
“Wha…what happened to him?”
Lila’s shoulders rise toward her ears, then drop as she releases a heavy breath. “I don’t know. They moved away a year later. Mom mentioned that his lungs never recovered fully.”
“I’m sorry, Lila. I can’t imagine how it would feel to believe you knowingly harmed someone even though it was all clearly an accident.”
“Definitely didn’t feel like an accident at the time.” She sits back against the bench and sighs. “Still doesn’t. It took months for the guilt to subside a bit. I kept thinking, what if I’d actually killed him? All for a stupid kiss.”
“I’m sorry, Lila. Truly.”
“The worst part after I knew he survived was that I was terrified of doing anything with a boy ever again. Thank goodness for Ashvi. She’s the one who pushed me to do something good with what happened and dared me to kiss the quarterback of the football team in high school.”
My stomach bubbles in jealousy as I reach for an oyster.
“And…did you? Kiss him, I mean?”
“I never go back on a dare, Dean Harrington,” she says, grabbing an oyster of her own. Her head tilts back, and I take a moment to admire her long, sleek neck.
“Hmm…” I say as her stare collides with mine.
Lisa deposits our main dishes, and we eat in comfortable silence, but my mind keeps looping back to her lingering question from earlier. I know Lila will drop it if I ask her to, but strangely, I want to tell her about the phone call from earlier. I want to tell her why I so badly want to give those kids the best upbringing I can. I want to give Lila all my trust.
“Something wrong?” she asks, as she nibbles on a breadstick that came with her salmon dish.
“No…nothing’s wrong. Just thinking, that’s all.”
Gently cocking her head, Lila asks, “What about? The kids?”
“No, just wondering why this, being here with you, feels like something I shouldn’t want or have.”
She reaches out and swirls her finger across the condensation drips on her sweet tea glass.
“Do you still want it?” she asks, as if I didn’t try to flirt with her whenever we are in the same room. Though I have toned it down so I wouldn’t come on so strong. Lila’s like a small bird just learning to stretch her wings again.
