Page 97 of Deal Breaker
“I think,” she whispers, “you would’ve buried that regret and lived with it quietly because that’s who you are. You take care of the people you love. You never let anyone down even if it means letting yourself down.”
I pace a few steps away, heart pounding so hard it drowns out the crashing waves in the distance. “So, you just made the choice for me?”
“I made a mistake, I know that now, but, you were trying to build a better life—not just for you, but for your brothers. You carried so much on your shoulders. And I knew what you’d do the second I told you.”
“You thought I’d walk away from it all.”
“I knew you would.”
I turn back to her, my voice cracking. “And I would’ve, Landyn. In a heartbeat. None of that mattered if it didn’t include you.”
Her lips tremble, and she shakes her head. “I couldn’t let you sacrifice that. I couldn’t watch you walk away from it all when I knew how much it would change your life.”
There’s silence again. Heavier now. Raw. I close my eyes and press my fingers to my temples, trying to breathe through the ache spreading in my chest. “You didn’t trust me to choose you. That’s what kills me.”
She looks like she’s about to shatter. “I didn’t trust myself to let you.”
I don’t know how to make sense of all of it. Of the love still in her eyes. Of the years that we lost. Of the little girl I didn’t know existed. Of everything we could’ve been. “Imissed six goddamn years, Landyn,” I bite out, the words tasting like blood. “She doesn’t even know who I am.”
She flinches, her arms tightening around herself. “I know.”
I step closer, my hands fisting at my sides. “I don’t know how I move past this.”
Her eyes flash, brimming with tears. “I took everything. I know that. I know, Ford.”
“You robbed me—of her, of being a dad. Of knowing her laugh, her favorite color, the things she’s afraid of.” My voice cracks, low and guttural. “You made that choice for me because you thought I couldn’t handle it.”
“I—,” she says, her voice just as raw. “I knew you’d give up everything you’d worked for. Because you loved me. And I loved you too much to let you do that.”
Her words slice me open. I look away, the truth hitting me like a freight train. She’s right. I would’ve walked away from Cove. From every damn thing I’d worked so hard to build, everything I’d bled for with my brothers. I would’ve thrown it all into the fire to be with her. To raise our daughter.
Because she always mattered more to me than anything else.
I look back at her and she’s already watching me, her face crumpled with pain.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” she says quietly. “Walking away from you. Carrying her. Raising her without you. There hasn’t been a single day in seven years where I didn’t miss you. Where I didn’t want you. I was miserable without you, Ford.”
We stare at each other, hearts exposed, and in that moment, I don’t know if I want to pull her into my arms or fall apart at her feet.
“Jesus, Landyn.” I rake a hand through my hair. “You had my heart since we were 20. You really thought I wouldn’t have wanted to be there for you? For her?”
“You had my heart, too.” Her face is blotchy and wet with tears. “But I couldn’t risk making you hate me. I couldn’t trap you. I couldn’t ruin you.”
“I was in love with you.” Silence drops like a bomb between us. “I still am,” I say finally, my voice breaking. “Even though I’m mad as hell at you.”
Her eyes squeeze shut.
“I don’t know if I can ever forgive you,” I admit, my chest splitting open. “But I don’t think I know how to stop loving you either.”
“I didn’t date,” she says suddenly, swiping the tears from her cheeks. “I moved away and focused on Poppy. I didn’t want anyone else. I couldn’t even think about it.”
Her words wind around my ribs like a vice. I blink at her, stunned. “You didn’t…?”
She shakes her head. “How could I when I never wanted anyone but you? I still don’t.”
For a second, all the anger, the heartbreak—it twists into something else. Something deeper. Something that makes me want to drop to my knees and beg for the years we lost. I move toward her before I can stop myself. “You think I would’ve been ruined by her? By you?” I murmur. “I would’ve been made by you.”
She breathes in sharply, tears clinging to her lashes.
