Page 87 of Where She Is
So many come to say goodbye and I realise how much she was loved by those who knew her. Some of her friends speak at the service along with dad. They talk about what a beautiful person she was. The song,Drops of Jupiterby Train, plays as we walk out of the church to the burial ground. This is my choice. I want everyone to realise my mum’s love and spirit is everywhere and she will always be with us.
We hold the wake at a small pub near to my parent’s home. Daniel, dad and I have talked and mingled with so many peopleand although the day is clouded by sadness, now and then, the sun breaks through in the form of laughter. Old friends share stories about mum and her shenanigans. She was quite a minx.
Daniel is doing so well to socialise with everyone. He seems relaxed as he talks to complete strangers about a woman he only met via FaceTime. I’m actually incredibly proud to see him in this light and I can’t help but notice how women openly ogle my Australian saviour. It’s a welcome break from my mixed-up emotions to admire his tall, muscular frame while he moves around the room. His conversation flows with such ease. He is a very different person to the one I’d met nearly fourteen months ago. I’m so busy staring at Daniel from where I sit, I don’t realise my dad standing beside me.
“You ought to eat something.”
I stand with open arms and we hug for a moment before I pull away. “I’ll take a look at the buffet.” Dad nods and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
In the back room, I peruse the neatly laid out cold meats and sausages on sticks. I take a plate from the stack, knowing full well I won’t eat much. I have to try for the people who love me. Slowly walking from table to table, I don’t register what is on offer. I don’t put anything on my plate as I wander aimlessly.
Something inside causes me to halt, my heart races and I find it hard to catch my breath. I sense him before I see him. From nowhere, two arms loop around my middle and pull my back to his front. His cheek rests against the side of mine and his lips whisper, “I’ve missed you so much, sugar.”
I spin out of his hold to face him and shake my head in horror. “Don’t touch me.”
“Sugar, please. All I ask is for you to listen to me.” He reaches forward.
“What the fuck do you want?” I take a step back.
“You. I want you, Hannah. I can’t stand to see you with another man. It’s breaking me. I realise I mistreated you, butthings have changed. I’ve changed, and I want to take care of you. I’m coming to Australia and we can be together.”
A chill runs down my body, “You have got to be kidding.”
“I thought you’d be happy. I’m sure we can make it work this time.”
“Do you understand what today is about Rob? You do realise I’ve just buried my mum! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Okay, I know, it’s not the best time, but this might be my only chance to get near you without that Australian gorilla interfering. I just want a chance to talk. I’ve realised what an idiot I’ve been. The way I treated you was unforgivable and you deserve more. I want everything with you. Marriage, a family, the lot. Don’t you see? It’s taken you going away for me to come to my senses.”
I calm myself for a second while I take in his words. My hands rest on my hips as I stare in disbelief and shake my head. “Unbelievable! You cheated on me when we were together—”
“I didn’t Sugar, I—”
“Don’t interrupt me!” My teeth grind, and the noise in my brain is deafening. I only just keep a lid on my voice and hope to God nobody gets the urge for food while I rip this prize shitbag to shreds.
“You cheated on me, Rob. I caught you in bed with another woman the morning after you proclaimed your love for me. You said you wanted to marry me then too. Almost immediately you slept with that tart! You’ve just spent the last God knows how many months shacked up with your new girlfriend, who, by the way, is far too good for you from what I’m told. Not only that, but according to the grapevine, the poor girl has no idea you’re planning a move to Australia! Now, you swan in here, two hours after I’ve said goodbye to my mother and tell me you want everything with me!”
He steps forward with his arms out as if I might fall into his embrace. “Sugar, please listen.”
If being in Australia has taught me anything, it’s that I’m a much stronger person than I ever imagined. It’s time for some home truths.
“Stop calling me fucking sugar! I hated it then, and I hate it now. I’ve always hated that stupid pet name, now fuck off and leave me in peace!”
He doesn’t move an inch and his fists clench. We’re no longer alone.Daniel. Thank God he’s here.His jaw is rigid. It ticks with every step he takes towards my ex. He flies across the room, picking Rob up on his way. His fist grabs a handful of his jacket before he slams him against the wall. His opposite arm sits under Rob’s chin when he forces his head back and slams him repeatedly with a violent jerk to the rhythm of his words. “Stay away from my girl, cocksucker!”
Rob freezes in place, his eyes wide with terror. Face to face, their noses almost touch.
“Did you hear what I said?” He slams his body against the wall once again. “Go near her just one more time and I will fuck you over so fucking badly, you won’t know what day of the week it is. Do you understand me, mate?”
I’m terrified. Not for Rob, he deserves this, but I don’t want Daniel to do something he might later regret. They are eye to eye, and Daniel holds him with a firm hand. I stand beside my man and slide one arm around his back and over his shoulder. I try to release Daniel’s grip and whisper, “Let him go now… let him go.”
His stony expression remains while he slams Rob against the wall for a final time. My ex-boyfriend, the man that repeatedly starved me of affection and eventually drove me away, stands alone and broken as Daniel pulls me by the waist into his side. If I didn’t know Rob better, I might have some sympathy for him, but why should I care about this cheating, selfish piece of shit.
Rob adjusts his jacket and attempts to regain his composure. He appears shaken as he exits; hesitating only for a second. Daniel pre-empts whatever it is Rob is about to say. His deep voice rumbles, “Breathe one fucking word and I’ll break your neck.”
Daniel pulls me into his hold, turning our backs to Rob so we don’t see him leave the room. Daniel rests his chin on the top of my head and holds me close. He’s still so angry. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”
I gaze up towards him and place the palm of my hand on his cheek. I take in his hazel eyes. I can’t express how much I love him right at this moment. My protector. I close my eyes and my forehead falls to his chest. I whisper, “Let’s go home.”
