Page 83 of Where She Is
I’m shot to bits. I could curl into a ball and block this cruel world out, but Daniel’s tight hold keeps me in place. My mind spins with what I need to do.I have to get home. I have to go back now. I wantmy mum… and my dad. Where is my dad? Is he okay? Who’s with him? Oh my God, who is with my poor dad? Please don’t let him be on his own.I blindly move one hand to Daniel’s cheek, “I want to go home.”
He nods, then looks over at Richard. “I’ll get Jennifer to help us out with flights. I’ll call dad now.”
Daniel kneels beside me before he reaches for his phone. He gently wipes my silent tears away with the pad of his thumb. “We will get you home as quickly as possible baby, okay?”
I nod, “Okay.”
I feel numb, helpless even. From where I’m sitting there is nothing I can do, not until I’m with her. I’m sure I can sort this out then. Someone has made a mistake. Not my mum. Not my wonderful, vibrant mum.
I catch Daniel’s low tone as he talks to his father. Richard shifts closer. He hasn’t let go of my hands this whole time, even when I was securely anchored in Daniel’s arms.
“I’m so sorry, Hannah, I wish there was something more I could do to help you.”
“Who called to let you know?” I ask in a trance while transfixed on our clasped hands. The more I stare, the more my tears spill over my cheeks. They blur my vision, which I find strangely comforting. It’s as if I’m in a world not related to thisone. Everything is fine here until Richard’s voice brings me back.
“Your dad. He’s been trying to get hold of you. When he didn’t have any luck, he tried me. I gave him Daniel’s mobile number, and in the meantime, I thought I would try you here. If you weren’t around, I was sure you wouldn’t be far away. Even if your dad had reached you, I wanted to be here for you. I spoke to him briefly before I came and reassured him we would get you home safely. He told me to tell you he loves you.”
Oh my God, my lovely dad. How the hell is he coping? My stomach turns at the thought of him being alone. My sobs are uncontrollable, and Richard is unsure what to do. He puts his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his embrace. Then he rubs my back and tries to comfort me. “Shh, it’s all right. It will be all right, Hannah.”
I sit myself up, tears streaming down my cheeks quicker than I can catch them. Richard is gone momentarily while he retrieves a piece of kitchen roll from the holder and hands it to me. I wipe my face as the tears continue to stream. Richard means well and is desperately thinking of the right thing to say. He’s been straight with me so far and I want him to continue that way.
“Please don’t say things that may not be true. We can’t be certain she’ll fully recover. Not even the doctors know. You said so yourself.”
He rubs the palm of his hand over mine and tries to look me in the eye, but I can only focus on my feet.
“Listen to me, your mum is a strong woman and still young. You need to be positive.”
Not that easy when you’re on the other side of the world feeling lost. Richard is doing his best to keep me going. What else can he do?
Daniel surfaces out of the bedroom and Richard looks to him for our next move.
“I’ve spoken to dad. They are booking flights now and they’ll confirm as quickly as they can.”
A heavy silence falls over the three of us for just a few seconds. Neither Richard nor Daniel can heal this horrendous pain in my heart, but they do everything possible to sooth it.
“I don’t want you to worry about a thing here, Hannah,” Richard reassures. It’s the last thing on my mind, but I think he said it because he’s stuck for what to say. “And if there is anything Alison and I can do, we’re here for you.”
I glance towards him and smile through my tears. “I know Richard, thank you. I have no idea when I’ll be back.”
“Don’t give it a second thought. You need to be with your parents. They both need you.”
With that, I continue to wipe the raw skin around my eyes. Daniel crouches beside me and slides his hand through my hair. Just his touch comforts me while my mind swims.
“I need to pack, get ready to go home. I might get a flight any minute, and I want to be prepared to leave the second I hear.”
“It’s okay, don’t panic,” Daniel soothes.
Richard looks between the two of us. He knows he can’t do anymore.
“I think I will leave you both alone now. If you need anything, Hannah, anything at all, okay?”
“Thank you, Richard.”
He stands to leave and Daniel is about to follow so he can see him out when Richard gestures with his hand towards me. “Look after her,” he says with a sad smile.
“Always.”
Daniel encases me in his embrace as if it will protect me from the pain. I lay my head against him as one continuous, awful thought runs through my mind.
