Page 68 of Where She Is
Daniel’s body slumps next to mine once again and silence hangs heavy in the air. It’s obvious there is nothing more to say. I try so hard to understand everything that’s happened. It’s been quite a night, what with Candy’s little outburst at the party and Daniel’s confession. I want to bury my head in the sand and make it all go away.
“I can’t take any more tonight. I need to sleep.” I stand from my seat abruptly.
He rubs his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. “You’re shutting me out.” Before I move another muscle, I turn around, take his hand and pull him towards me. His hand curls around my waist and his head falls to my stomach. I absentmindedly tug strands of his hair through my fingertips while uncontrollabletears spill over my cheeks as I realise none of this is his fault. He can’t help that his wife was a drug addict. That a girl he once called a friend, had fallen in love with him and sought revenge by marrying his brother. That this same girl had given his wife the drugs she needed to kill herself. But most of all, he couldn’t help that his father had made a very big and very bad decision. None of this was down to him, but he was paying the price because of it. I have to comfort and support him. He’s handled enough heartache and pain these last few years. How can I walk away when he needs me most? I don’t like what’s happened, but I’ll take care of him and let him know there was nothing he could have done about any of it. “I will never shut you out.” I take his arms from around my waist and pull his hands so he stands. I lead him to the bedroom where we silently undress then take comfort by losing ourselves in one another. Freya will not win and neither will anyone else who tries to break us.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I blindly reachover to find nothing but a cold space. I bolt up and look around. The sound of a heavy water spray fills my ears. He’s up early this morning. I drop like a dead weight to my pillow and roll onto my back. I concentrate on the stunning ceiling rose directly above me. All the events from the previous night replay through my mind. I’ve already concluded none of this is Daniel’s fault and for that I’m grateful. He has not committed a crime or lied to the police. It’s not his fault he has been loved to the point of obsession. Too many people have been hurt, including him.
Daniel’s trip to Melbourne today is probably the best thing. It means he’ll be away for at least a night and I’ll have time to reflect. Things will never be the same now I know the truth about his wife and why Freya is allowed to cause such havoc in their lives.
I’m still in a hazy daze when Daniel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and another on his shoulders. He strides over and sits on the side of the bed next to me, his hand over mine. “How are you?”
“Okay.”
The pad of his thumb rubs over my knuckles. He gives me one of his boyish smiles and my heart melts at the sight of him. My mind drifts back to the previous night and the love we made. Our bodies clung to each other in desperation, as if we needed the other to breathe. The connection between us seemed to strengthen further because now I’ve learned everything about him. The details are shocking and I have some doubts about his father, but at least Daniel is an innocent party.
His focus is fixed on my mouth when his smile turns to sadness. I shake our entwined hands to gain his attention, “Hey, what’s up?”
He shakes his head, “Be straight with me.”
“Always. What is it?”
His eyes roll to the ceiling as if to look for the right words. “If this is all too hard, please be honest.”
I’ve barely had time to process everything he told me, but I try to answer as best as I can. “Daniel, I can’t say—”
“Fuck!” He abruptly stands and leans against the wall with his eyes closed and jaw locked as if in pain. He thinks I’ve already made up my mind. I’m right by his side as quickly as I can get to him. My hands rest on his flexed arms while I whisper, “You’ve got it wrong.”
“Have I? Last night, when we made love, was it goodbye?” His tone is deep and direct. I move closer, sensing the heat and electricity between us. I need to touch him and take away his obvious hurt. His agony is my fault. I don’t want this. He’s been through enough. Leaving him is not the answer. There’s no doubt, I love him more than life itself. I whisper, “I’m here. Always.” He needs me and wants to keep me safe. I want to protect him too.
Slowly, he turns to face me, his physical relief is evident. He pulls me forward, gently running his finger across my cheek before he nuzzles his mouth towards my ear. His breathing is deep and thick. “Thank fuck.”
That was all I needed to hear.
We eat breakfast alone and once we have packed, Diana and Peter walk us to the car. Peter obviously has no idea about my recent knowledge and I’m wary around him now. He is a dangerous man and not one to be crossed. The voices in my head scream,I know what you did,as he hugs me goodbye. And Diana, how can she go along with the whole thing? It seems so out of character for her. Perhaps this couple are not as down to earth as I once thought. They will do anything, in or outside of the law, to protect their family. Then I wonder what I would do if it were my son.
We get back to the house in Seaforth around mid-day and Daniel has to pack for his trip to Melbourne almost immediately. He is due to catch his flight late afternoon, and it turns out he will be there for a couple of days.
When Daniel is about to say goodbye, I don’t want him to go. I want us to huddle away in our little bubble again. Life is a lot more simple when it’s the two of us.
Daniel closes his case as I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest and resting my head on his back. He lays his hands on my arms and turns to face me, my cheek nestling firmly to his body.
“This trip couldn’t have come at a worse time. I’m sorry, Han.”
“I understand. You have to go, it’s your job and I’ll be okay.” Even I’m impressed with my British stiff upper lip.
He takes both my hands in his and brings them to his mouth. His lips run over my knuckles and with closed eyes, he lingers there for a few seconds, savouring this precious moment. He talks against my skin, and the warmth of his breath sends tiny prickles over my body. “I want you here when I get back.”
“And I will be, I promise.”
His phone alerts him to a text, “I have to go. Jack is waiting.”
There is so much I want to say to him, but he’ll miss his flight if he doesn’t go soon. As we walk to the car, his hand gently caresses the small of my back and butterflies scatter through my entire body. Dark hazel eyes scan my features before closing in to take the taste of my lips. He pulls away slightly, his forehead resting on mine. A surge of emotion creeps up my throat, nearly choking me.Shit. I wish he’d turn around andsay he’s not going.His hand lingers in mine until our fingertips can nolonger make contact. This feels like an ending, but also the beginning of something more for us.
“Keep safe,” he says and then he is gone. I stand on the pavement and watch his car until it’s a dot in the distance. A sense of loneliness runs through my veins, although living with him has its benefits. At least he is all around me. I smell his scent in our bed and it’s his music on the iPad. At least here, I’m close to him.
Our frequent use of FaceTime means we don’t really lose a lot of contact during our two days apart. It’s the nights I struggle with. I hate going to bed on my own without him. I’ve got so used to his body next to mine.
