Page 95 of The Vow We Made
18
The Truth
We sit on opposite sides of the cab and our ride home is silent. I go over what I have to say as I gaze out the window at the bright lights of London. Briefly, I glance over to Aiden who is doing the same although his thoughts are probably very different to mine.
When we get home, I can’t bear the distance between us. I take his hand, leading him to sit in the lounge while I compose and calm my accelerated heartbeat. He waits patiently, but pulls his hand from mine. I’m lost without his touch.
“Aiden—”
His focus is towards his hands, now out in front and clasped nervously.
I rub my fingers over my brow while I ponder where to start with this mess of an explanation.
“What I have to tell you is complicated and not easy to talk about.” His focus remains firmly with his hands, so I place mine gently over the top of his white knuckles. “Aiden?” I question and he responds with a silent nod, so I carry on.
“I’ve never held anything back intentionally, and I hope you understand. I had to be certain about our relationship before I shared this with you.”
“Alright.” He nods again. “I’m listening.” I don’t know why I thought he might make a physical show of support, but he doesn’t and my stomach sinks. I take a breath, knowing the sooner this is over with the better.
“Evelynn and I have more in common than anyone could imagine. She came into my life three years ago; just a few weeks after Andy died, and blew my world apart. Evelynn, or Eve as she now calls herself, is not just an old acquaintance or distant friend.”
I take another large breath, preparing myself to share my biggest secret when Aiden steps in. “Are you going to tell me Eve had an affair with your husband? If you are, this isn’t your fault Victoria and you didn’t need to bring me home to explain it, you could have called her out there and then. I would have supported you—”
“I wish it were that simple, Aiden, but it’s not.” I don’t mean to shout, but he’s only making this harder to explain. “Evelynn wasn’t an affair. She was Andy’s wife, just as I was.”
His head reels back, “Okay. So she was his first wife? Is that what you mean?” He huffs out a relieved laugh, “So seeing her will be a little awkward at times but surely—”
“Aiden, stop! I’m trying to tell you that Evelynn and I were married to Andy at the same time. There was no divorce.”
He rubs his jaw. “Are you saying what I think you are?”
“I am.”
He nearly laughs once again. “Is this some kind of joke?”
“I’m afraid not. This is as real and as crazy as it sounds.” His narrowing eyes glance my way. I understand why he might think this is unreal.
“Why are you only telling me this now?”
“I know I should have told you before, but I came to a point in our relationship where I decided there was no need and the less people who knew, the better.”
“Is that all I am to you? Just a person?”
“No Aiden. No.”
“Then why hide it? I thought we’d laid all our cards on the table. I thought we were getting somewhere. Together.”
“We are.”
“Then why does it feel as if we’re not? We take one step forward and two steps back. Just as I think we’re getting somewhere—” He stops and rubs his large hands down his face and looks up to the heavens. “I don’t know. It’s as if I don’t know you at all.”
Fear runs through my veins at his words and I have to do everything I can to salvage what we have. “Please don’t say that. You know me better than anyone.”
“Really Victoria? Because at the moment, there’s a huge part of your life I have no knowledge about and, to be honest, it hurts. It hurts that you didn’t feel you could trust me.”
“That wasn’t the reason I kept it away from you.”
“Then why, Victoria? What else could it be?”
