Page 79 of The Vow We Made
The worry lines have returned and her tone is apprehensive. “If it’s alright with you, can we have that talk now? There’s something, or rathersomeone, I want to tell you about before we go any further.”
Almost immediately, I know what she’s going to say.
VICTORIA
My friends must wonder why I hide my widow status so fiercely, but they only know what happened on the surface and have no idea there were further elements which scarred my heart. Now Aiden and I are growing closer by the day and the longer I leave this part of my life under wraps, the harder it will be to explain things fully. I can’t tell him everything, I’m not ready to talk about the darker side of my marriage, but it’s a start.
“I’m sorry about earlier. I wasn’t prepared when you touched my scars, but I didn’t mean to snap.”
“You call what you did snapping? Try working in Accident and Emergency for a night and dealing with patient’s who’ve been kept waiting for hours, nowtheycan snap. What you did,” he pushes a few loose strands of hair away from my eyes, “was nothing. A minor blip.”
“You’re being kind when what you should do is kick me up the arse.”
“You’ve been through a lot and it’s to be expected, so if that’s all you’re worried about—”
“It’s not, but I am sorry for the way I spoke. It was uncalled for.” I focus back to his worried eyes. “We’re good together.” I smile hopefully.
“You know we are.”
“Which is why I owe you an explanation of my past. There isn’t anything you can do to make it better, but you need to be aware of it. That’s all.”
“Okay,” he whispers, the concern never leaving his eyes while his thumb runs reassuringly over my knuckles. He’s waiting, with total patience, for me to ready myself for a difficult conversation.
“A few years ago, well, nearly three to be exact, I got married.”
I expect more of a reaction than his Adam’s apple dropping deeply down his throat. This is the first time I’ve mentioned I was married after all. “Andy was older than me by ten years. I was only twenty-two when we met and I hadn’t dated many men previously, but the ones I had encountered had no clue how to treat a girl properly. I was sick of being with boys who couldn’t see further than next week and Andy was mature, caring and hard to resist.”
“Just over a year after we met, we decided to live together and bought a house on the outskirts of Kensington. His job saw him based in Dubai for a majority of the time, but the travelling was one of the reasons he was so highly paid and because of it, we were able to buy property in the heart of London. He worked on rotation, which meant he was away a month at a time and back for two weeks. The downside of our relationship for me was being apart. It was hard to accept initially, although I knew it was part and parcel of who he was when we met and he promised it wouldn’t be forever. I felt he was worth the wait.
All we needed was enough money to build a decent nest egg and then he’d find work in London. I was in love and prepared to do anything for him, even if it meant a lot of lonely times.” Aiden takes my hand in his, holding it tight. “We were together three years before Andy proposed.”
“Victoria,” Aiden interrupts, “if this is too painful for you—”
I cut in, eager to get this over with. “Don’t say what you think I want to hear. It’s important to me, you know what happened.” Again, he swallows hard. I guess he’s only trying to save me from any distress. This is why I want him, because his first thoughts are always of me above anything else.
“My wedding dress was straight from a fairy tale and the ceremony was held at the same church in Surrey where my parents were married. Vintage cars transported us to and from the venues and over a hundred guests came to witness our dreams coming true. He wanted me to have the best of everything, even though I’d told him time and time again, I only wanted to marry him and was happy to have a simple ceremony. He wouldn’t hear of it.”
I can’t tell what Aiden’s thinking and his face gives nothing away, but now I’m finally opening up, I have to let it all go.
“The next part is hazy. We’d left the church and I remember being in the back of the car on the way to our wedding reception. One minute, we were laughing and the next, our driver swerved to avoid an oncoming vehicle overtaking another. We were forced off the road and the car overturned, bursting into flames. The accident itself happened so quickly and most of it is a blur, but I was later told the reason why Andy was so fatally injured. He wasn’t wearing his seat belt and was thrown around the car. There was glass in his stomach and the impact of the crash caused internal injuries. I was lucky to get away with minor cuts and bruises, but we lost our chauffeur too that day. I can’t remember getting out of the car, but I suppose I must have done otherwise I wouldn’t be here, and they found Andy not far from the burning wreckage. He was barely breathing at the scene and despite the doctor’s best efforts, he later died in hospital.”
“Victoria, there’s something—”
“Please Aiden, I need you to understand why I’m cautious. I hadn’t entertained the idea of even a date before I met you, but somehow, we happened and I thank God every day that we did. Just let me be honest with you.”
Aiden holds me closer than before. I sink against his body while his arms surround and support me. I hear his heartbeat accelerate against his chest and his exposed skin ignites against mine, sending positive chills over my frame with an indescribable mixture of nerves and exhilaration. Now I have it, I refuse to let it go. It’s a relief to explore my innermost thoughts and when I’m with Aiden, I have peace and an overwhelming sense of my place in this world. But in a matter of seconds, everything shifts.
He utters my name on an outward breath. “Victoria.”
I lift my head, and catch his fearful eyes. “What is it Aiden?”
He rubs his eyes sockets with his thumb and forefinger. “Now it’s my turn. I should have told you weeks ago, but there was never a right time.”
“It’s quite the night for confessions.” I try to make the atmosphere lighter, but his stern expression worries me.
“I haven’t been able to find the right moment.” I note the spark of turmoil through his refusal to make eye contact. I stay silent until he has whatever it is, off his chest. He is uncomfortable, nervous even and he’s making me feel the same.
My heart skips a beat while my stomach clenches uncontrollably, “Tell me,” I ask as my body fills with dread. I don’t think I can take a nasty surprise, especially from a man I’m convinced I’m falling in love with.
