Page 38 of How to Seduce a Viscount
Chapter Twenty
‘You are happy here.’ Luce stood in the bare fields with Stepan, both of them bareheaded in the cold. He’d thought several times about Wren’s comment. That Stepan may not want to give this up, may not welcome his intrusion with the truth especially if that truth cost him the lovely Ellen Kingsley.
Stepan did not shirk from the comment. ‘I am, I feel that I belong here, that I can do good here. People need me. The Kingsleys need me.’
‘You have another family that needs you as well. Brothers that need you. You belong there, too.’ Luce looked about the wide-open space, the spread of the land. Whoever—Dickens and Vivaldi, among others—said winter was the season of death didn’t know better. Winter was a time of rebirth. Even now, the land was fortifying itself for spring. Was his brother doing the same? Was he fortifying himself, preparing to be reborn? But as who? Peter the farmer or Stepan the Horseman? He saw the appeal. Stepan had always loved the land.
Stepan was thoughtful for a while. ‘You tell me that I am a hero because I jumped into the water and killed a man attempting to blow up a ship. You tell me that was a fairly normal occurrence in my life, that I worked in diplomacy andsuch things werede rigueur. I don’t want to be that person any more. I want to stay here. Ellen and I discussed it last night.’
That was not an acceptable answer. Luce kicked at the hard earth with the toe of his boot. ‘You would stay and live a lie? Would you be comfortable with the ethics of that? Of dragging Andrew and Phillip and Ellen into that? It’s one thing to live a life because you don’t know any better, but you do. Youknowyou’re not Peter. You know you weren’t born tothislife. Even if you don’t believe me, you know you were washed up on shore. That you came from somewhere else and that youaresomeone else. Peter the farmer is a pretence.’
‘A man has a right to make his life over. I have been given a second chance.’
‘Some men, not you,’ Luce ground out, his anger rising. It was an impossible situation to stand here andseehis brother talking to him but denying his identity altogether. This man was and yet was not Stepan.
‘There is more to it than what I shared yesterday at the table. There are things I did not want to say in front of them.’ He held Stepan’s gaze, forcing his brother to look at him, willing him to see the undeniable resemblance between them. ‘There are others looking for you. A man named Gerlitz is seeking revenge. The man you killed in Wapping was his cousin. Gerlitz has discovered someone who could be Stepan Parkhurst is living here. His men are coming. They know who you really are. You can’t pretend them away. They will not listen when you tell them you want to leave that life. There is no leaving the game, only surviving it, as we used to say.’
Luce did not think he’d ever done something so frustrating. This gave new meaning to the expression banging one’s head against a brick wall. Was he even making a dent? It was heart wrenching, too. He and Stepan had once been so close. That was gone now as long as Stepan didn’t remember.
‘I will surrender myself to them if I must in order to protect Ellen and the boys,’ Stepan said nobly. It was exactly what Stepan would say. Emotion rose.
‘That will not deter them.’ Luce laid out another hard truth. ‘You killed the man’s cousin. He is not beyond destroying something or someone you hold dear in front of you before he destroys you. There are things worse than death. Death is easy, dying for a cause, for a loved one is simple.’ Stepan seemed to blanch at that. Progress at last, perhaps. Luce pushed his small advantage.
‘We can get you help. There are specialists who deal in memory loss. Come with us, we can be in London the day after tomorrow. We can go to Sandmore. You can see Grandfather. Or we can go to Willow Park and see our parents. The familiar might do you a world of good in remembering.’
‘And leave Ellen unprotected?’ Stepan countered.
‘She’s of no interest to Gerlitz without you. Leaving will protect her. The farther away you are from her, the safer she is. We can protect you in London or at Sandmore.’ Luce made the arguments patiently, methodically. A flicker of hope sparked. If he could lead Stepan towards the logic of this choice, he might be able save him, reach him.
‘That’s not the only protection she needs. Who will protect her from Hartlett if I am gone?’ He slanted a scolding glance at Luce. ‘It’s not fancy living here. It’s not all daggers in the dark, but we do have a life here. Our own dramas are not so insignificant. Ellen has been running the family farm since her parents’ deaths but the community would like to see her wed. Her brothers are young, too young to be the men of the house. She needs a man about the place. Hartlett’s a widower. His land abuts Ellen’s. The community feels it would be a good match, or at least they did before I came along.’
Ah, that explained Hartlett’s sour face yesterday and his willingness to bring Luce out. Hartlett would befriend anyone who helped rid the place of his competition for the comely Ellen and the wealth that would come in joining the properties.
‘Ellen needs me, and I need her. I feel complete when I am with her.’ There was a flash of sharpness in Stepan’s gaze. ‘I do not have a wife or an arrangement with anyone do I?’ It was the first point of interest he’d taken in his identity.
‘No, there’s no one like that waiting for you. Do you have an understanding with Ellen?’ It was time to ask that question now that his brother had brought it up.
‘No, nothing formal, but she is dear to me. I had hoped to discuss intentions with her come spring. I can’t live here indefinitely without declaring myself. It isn’t fair to her reputation. But your arrival has complicated that.’
Luce refused to say he was sorry. ‘My arrival will be the least of your complications if Gerlitz finds you here.’
‘What of the woman you’re travelling with? Miss Audley? Are you betrothed?’
‘I have proposed, but she’s not accepted. Yet,’ Luce added hastily. ‘I have laid the world at her feet and still she resists even though our feelings are mutual.’
‘Have you said the words?’ Stepan asked. ‘Have you said, “I love you”? Women set a great store by those three words.’
Had he told her? He’d thought the words, he’d admitted them to himself. He’d certainly shown her time and again the esteem in which he held her. There’d been gifts and he’d worshipped her quite completely with his body.
‘I don’t know if three words would change Wren’s mind. She, um…’ How to explain why she resisted? ‘Well, it’s complicated is all.’
‘Love is always complicated.’ Stepan gave him a man-to-man smile and for a moment Luce had his brother back. This was like the conversations they used to have.
Luce cleared his throat. What would Grandfather say if he had to tell the old man he’d failed to bring Stepan back? ‘Why don’t you bring Ellen, Anne and the boys to London?’ Luce lobbied. ‘The farm won’t need minding for a few months yet.’
‘You are relentless.’ Stepan laughed. ‘I have no worries that Miss Audley will be yours with all that tenacity on your side.’ Luce hoped he was right. Stepan had put it perfectly when he said Ellen completed him. Wren completedhim, something that had not been driven home to him in its entirety until yesterday, watching her with the Kingsleys, subtly supporting him with her observations, lending him her strength with her touch, her eyes, knowing what he needed before he had to ask. Because she knew that he would not ask, asking was nothisstrength. Perhaps she knew that so well because she was fiercely independent, too, not wanting anyone to be inconvenienced for her sake. The real inconvenience though would be losing her. No, not inconvenience but tragedy. The realtragedywould be losing her. In her, he found the wholeness he’d been chasing all his life.
‘We’ve been out here for a while.’ Stepan clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Shall we go in? The ladies will be wondering what we’ve gotten up to.’
