Page 25 of How to Court a Rake
‘It will come, pleasureiscoming, Mary.Claim it,’ he encouraged her with a voice as raw, as exposed, as she felt, proof that this pleasure was a pleasure for them both to give and to receive. Then she was there at the place she’d blindly been seeking and it seemed to her that the world behind her eyes exploded into fragments of new sensations she’d not felt before, an intensity she’d not imagined existed. She was in his arms, her head lying against his broad shoulder, her own shoulders heaving with release. The only thought that came to her as the world began to settle once more was, ‘I didn’t know.’
‘Of course not. You’re not supposed to know. What would happen if young, innocent girls did know what their bodies were capable of? Everyone would be riding around in carriages all day.’ Caine laughed and she laughed with him.
‘You are truly wicked.’
‘Because I have shown you the truth? Given you knowledge of your own body?’ He was only half teasing.
‘I am sure this is exactly how the serpent tempted Eve, with arguments just like these.’ How could logic be wicked? How could logic lead to wrong conclusions? How could logic be immoral? She was only half teasing, too. Had the serpent held Eve against a broad chest, a strong arm about her as she rested? Created a cocoon she didn’t want to leave for the life that waited beyond it? If so, it was easy to see why she’d eaten the apple. Mary didn’t want to step foot out of the carriage, didn’t want to go back to Carys House and all that waited there.
They rode in silence, Mary savouring the feel of Caine’s body against hers, her mind running through a thousand questions, most of them stemming from what had happened in the carriage. Familiar blocks came into sight. They hadn’t much time left if she wanted to ask them. Perhaps she’d start with the most obvious. ‘Is it like that every time? Can anyone do that?’ She looked up at him, wanting to watch his face, wanting to ensure that he told her the truth he proclaimed to value.
‘Technically, I suppose the answer should be yes, the parts involved don’t change, but it’s not like that all the time. I think it matters who the partners are. It is important that we are with people with whom we can entrust our bodies as well as our emotions.’ Caine paused, considering. ‘Does that disappoint you, Mary?’
‘No,’ she replied, pushing back a tousled lock of his dark hair—tousled fromherefforts, she might add. ‘I would not like to think just anyone could make me feel this way. Pleasure should be my choice. Someone should not be able to take it from me, wring it from me.’ As pleasurable as the experience was, she didn’t want it to be common, generic. She wanted it to mean something, she wanted to control whom she shared it with, whom she came apart for. Even if it meant this was something she could have with only one man whom she could not hope to keep for ever.
The carriage stopped before Carys House and she could hear the step being set. The adventure was over. ‘Thank you for today, for all of it.’ She spoke the words in a desperate rush.
‘There’s always tomorrow, Mary.’ Caine smiled, his eyes lingering on her as if he, too, was making a mental picture of these last moments before the world intruded. She’d like to think that was the case, that this had meant as much to him as it had to her. ‘I’ll come in with you. Your father had asked to talk.’
She gave a gasp, suddenly remembering. ‘I didn’t ask you about your meeting with the Prince!’
He lifted her hand to his lips, his eyes still warm with the remnants of their passion. ‘We had better things to do. It will keep for later, Mary.’
‘Will there be a later? My father may not allow it. He can be most determined.’ She should not have voiced her fear out loud. It would seem silly to him, a reminder of the vast gulf between her life and his. A reminder, too, that she was not like his glamorous women. She was tied to the strings of familial obligation while Caine was tied to nothing he did not choose.
The door opened and Caine exited first. He helped her down, his voice at her ear where it seemed to naturally belong, saying, ‘He doesn’t get to decide anything unless we let him.’
She wished that were true. How easy he made it sound. To have what she wanted, all she had to do was simply choose it. But Caine was a man. He could do such things and not have to consider the repercussions.
In the hall of Carys House, a footman stood ready to greet them. ‘Lord Barrow, Lord Carys is waiting to receive you in his study.’
Most men would not smile in the wake of those words. But Caine merely bent over her hand once more, in a proper farewell this time, and turned to the footman. ‘Yes, he had indicated an interest in conversation. Lady Mary, thank you again for a delightful afternoon.’
Mary watched him disappear down the hall with the footman and wondered if she would see him again. It wasn’t that she didn’t think Caine could handle her father. He probably could. It was the question of whether or not he thought she was worth the bother. After all, he’d more than fulfilled his self-imposed obligation to her. At some point, he’d simply give her up. There was nothing to keep him with her, certainly not the promise of a future. Which prompted again the question: what did he want from her? What did he get out of this?
She touched her fingers to her lips. Even now, it was something of a wonder he’d gone to all this effort for her. The only explanation she had was the sight of him in the carriage today, his face rapt with desire and his body flush with it. Or perhaps desire, too, was different for a man?
Lord Carys was no different than any other man. His office was proof of that—decorated with all the trappings of his importance: the big desk made of imported mahogany and polished to a high sheen, the Moroccan leather chair behind it, the matching wing-backed chairs set on the other side, the Aubusson carpet, the bookcases filled with exquisite leather-bound editions that had likely never been opened. Lucien would think that a grave sin. The carved walnut mantel adorned with male accoutrements: a set of brass scales, a captain’s telescope the man had probably never used. The art on the walls consisted of an old map of the world, and an oil painting matched the seagoing theme, perhaps courtesy of Lady Carys’s decorating efforts. There was likely a safe behind that oil painting.
Lord Carys did not rise to greet him, but stayed behind the big desk and gestured for the footman to pour drinks. ‘Thank you for your time, Lord Barrow. It seems we have reached a point where some discussion between us is necessary.’ Carys took his drink from the footman without even a nod of acknowledgment before dismissing him. There was a message in that.Thingswere important to Carys. People were not. People were, in fact, disposable, items to be used for further material gain, even his own daughter. The other message was that appearances were everything. Caryswantedpeople toseehis control, tofeelit in the way he treated them.
‘I agree, I am eager to speak with you as well.’ Caine took his drink from the footman and nodded his thanks in direct opposition to Carys’s behaviour. Carys would not miss the gauntlet being thrown down. He had the pleasure of watching Carys’s jaw tighten a nearly imperceptible fraction. He’d been obtuse on purpose, knowing very well what Carys would think. Men wanted to speak to fathers of eligible girls for only one reason. Carys didnotwant a proposal from him despite him being a marquess and perhaps the only real suitor of Mary’s to rival Amesbury in rank. He decided to push Carys’s discomfort a bit further. ‘I find Lady Mary to be a singularly attractive, intelligent, woman.’
‘I must stop you there, Barrow. I would save you the indignity of a proposal,’ Carys cut in. ‘I am not entertaining any further offers for my daughter’s hand. We have accepted an offer from the Duke of Amesbury, whom I believe you met last night.’
So it was true. Mary had not exaggerated the situation. Caine held Cary’s gaze, careful not to give away the disappointment Carys was hoping to see. Carys wanted the upper hand back. ‘Has Lady Mary offered her approval to the match as well? I do not recall seeing an announcement inThe Times.’
‘We have not announced it formally yet, but we will soon.’ Carys gave a falsely benign smile and steepled his hands on the desktop. ‘You are new to your rank, Barrow. Allow me to give you some fatherly advice as a man who wasbornto his title. When a gentleman is met with the news a woman he aspires to is now off the market, he retreats politely. He does not question the nature of the arrangement and argue with the woman’s father. It is not how these things are done.’
‘Is forcing one’s daughter to accept a match also how it is done these days? I thought we’d left such things behind with the Middle Ages.’ Caine levelled a hard stare at Carys. ‘Lady Mary does not want this match.’
‘Does any woman know what she wants? Or what is even good for her?’ Carys chuckled. ‘She is playing coy and teasing you, Barrow. Perhaps she delights in arousing a bit of chivalry from you. You of all people should know how women are with their games.’
Caine also knew how men were. This one deserved a drubbing for treating his daughter as a pawn on his own personal chessboard and then speaking of her as if she were a merry widow revelling in casual affairs or a woman of even looser virtue still. ‘Those are harsh words to which I take offence on Lady Mary’s behalf.’ He’d not fought a duel for two years, although he’d nearly challenged Creighton on his sister’s behalf last year before they’d wed. One did like to stay in practice.
‘You are not her protector. You have no right to level such accusations at me.’ Carys was on edge now, perhaps remembering that Caine was known for his prowess with a pistol and his short fuse of a temper when it came to those he cared for. Carys was a seaman, not a marksman.
Caine tried another tack. Carys was nothing if not self-centred. ‘Perhaps I ask for your own benefit, too. What do you know of Amesbury beyond his title?’ He’d learned some interesting things about the former Duke from Nikolay Baklanov this afternoon and circumstances suggested it was possible the new Duke had followed in the former’s footsteps. The question was whether or not Carys knew and was involved. The latter seemed highly possible given how Carys’s Season was unfolding.
