Page 59 of Spies without a Face
“What?”
He joked, “You know, those weird dreams you told us about, thinking you were shapes. I once heard someone call a rhombus a drunken square. Since I gave you a beer, and you dream you’re odd shapes like an octagon.” He gestured toward me with a smile so broad, I thought his face would crack.
“Ah, funny,” I replied. “Fortunately, those dreams have stopped. The urge to claim Pandora, though, was more persistent than ever.
We sat with a beer in front of us except for Diego. He mentioned he had a pouch of blood earlier. My nostrils wrinkled with disgust, which I tried to cover by scratching my nose as if it was itchy. I wasn’t here to judge but get advice.
“I have a problem,” I admitted. “I know that Pandora’s my mate, but I’m afraid what will happen if I tell her. She wants to take things slow. If I come out with something this big…” I spread my hands wide. “I don’t know what will happen.”
The guys exchanged meaningful glances but remained silent. The sound of Lucas’s “Cure for Pain” record by Morphine played, the deep, questioning in Mark Sandman’s voice echoing those in my soul.
Lucas turned to me and spoke. “You have to tell her at some point. It’s not something you can keep inside forever without it driving you crazy.”
“I know.” Gritting my teeth, I nodded. “My bear insists every day.” I threw my hands up. “But what can I do? You know what Pandora’s like. She wants her independence and privacy. She’d probably be so mad that I’m here talking to you about this, but I’m desperate.”
Sebastian rubbed his beard. “Just do it, man. Like ripping off a bandage. The more you wait, the more agonizing it’s going to be.”
Diego released a contemplative grunt. “I know I’m not a shifter and don’t have the same compulsions as you, but trust me, I have some overwhelming ones. But I agree with them—you must tell her. Keeping it from her is worse.”
“Right,” Lucas agreed. “If she finds out some other way and thinks you’re keeping things from her, or betraying her—”
“I know, I know,” I cut him off. Since I’d been wrestling with these questions for days, what they were telling me wasn’t anything I hadn’t debated countless times before. I breathed out from my nostrils with weary resignation. “You’re right. I have to tell her.”
* * *
Pandoraand I went to a pub that evening and shared flatbreads, one for meat-lovers and the other with spinach and mushroom. I fidgeted in my seat as I rehearsed what to say.
And chickened out.
The next morning, Pandora asked me, “What’s wrong?” She’d just fed the cats and carried the empty cat food cans to the sink. “I can tell something’s on your mind.”
My chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “There’s something I need to tell you. I’m not sure how you’ll react, but I don’t want to keep things from you.”
She turned on the faucet and rinsed out the cans. “Go ahead.”
My heart pumped harder, and my pulse raced.
Tell her, my bear urged.Tell her she’s ours.
The sound of my heartbeat escalated, now pounding in my ears.
“Pandora…” My breath came faster. “My bear realized something the first time we met. And although it took me some time to truly accept it, I now know with all my being that it’s true.”
Her eyes widened. My skin turned clammy. It was too late to turn back now. I guided myself to stay calm with a deep inhale through my nostrils followed by a heavy exhale from my mouth.
“Pandora, you’re my mate.”
Her mouth dropped open, and a can tumbled from her hand into the sink. The clang of metal echoed with a resounding thud.
I blew it.
CHAPTER21
PANDORA
“That can’t be right.” I gaped at Austin. There was no way I heard him correctly.
Or he was teasing.
