Page 53 of Spies without a Face
“Yes, fine,” I lied and smiled.
What happened? Maybe I imagined seeing Marius here but why? Could it be out of guilt about being in another man’s arms?
No freaking way. I didn’t owe him anything. Maybe Marius wasn’t dead but our relationship sure was.
During Blondie,I tried to keep my focus on the show and not search constantly for Marius. Austin helped distract me. He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me. His body heat felt so good, and his embrace so protective.
He sang along to “One Way or Another” as he held me. He sure was finding a way to work his magic on me.
Deborah Harry was still amazing in her seventies. If she could still rock at her age, I had no excuse in my forties. I’d bet she faced a lot of shit and heartache in her life, yet she was still touring and appearing to live her best life. Why was I hiding? Like Marius had said, I wasn’t living, I was existing. That was sad.
It was time for me to break free from my safe mold and take a chance. Maybe that meant starting with chucking all my reasons for why I shouldn’t be with my younger neighbor.
During “The Tide is High,” I turned around to face him. “Austin?”
“Yes?” He glanced down at me from his deep, soulful brown eyes.
I leaned up to my tiptoes and brushed my lips against his. A surge of heat traveled over my skin. Austin kissed me back, his lips soft and sensual. He enclosed me in his arms, and I melted against his broad, muscular chest. His tongue stroked mine, sending desire curling inside me.
When we pulled apart, seconds or maybe centuries later, my breath came faster. I turned toward the stage, surprised that I’d initiated that PDA.
Then I was jarred by that all-too-familiar, all-too-uncomfortable burning sensation of someone’s eyes on me. I gritted my teeth. Enough of this.
Marius stood several dozen feet away in with the audience. While they watched the performance on stage, he stared at me. This wasn’t me imagining anything. He was definitely there. His gaze locked on mine, pulling me toward him with that intense, magnetic power.
The familiar lure returned, churning conflict through me. That hold was amazingly powerful, the reminder of our past passion dragging me toward him like a fish caught on his hook.
No, I wouldn’t let him affect me this way. He was part of my past, and we were over. I was here with Austin.
Sure, getting covered in beer or dessert and now bird shit might be part of the universe’s price for being with him, but it was worth it. He was sweet and thoughtful. He didn’t hurt me or let me mourn his fake death.
Why had Marius followed me here? Surely, it wasn’t a coincidence that he was at the concert in Boston tonight. What did he want from me?
Yes, he’d made it clear that he wanted me back, but it couldn’t happen. Itwouldn’thappen. I wasn’t a naïve twenty-something in love; I was middle-aged with many years of experiences and mistakes behind me. No way was I going to repeat the ones that I’d learned from—and that included thinking I could save Marius.
I gritted my teeth, raised my chin, and turned away from him. Then I wrestled with what to tell Austin. Should I warn him about my ex being here? Open that can of pop-up snakes about our past?
A song later, I glanced back. Marius was gone.
Maybe he’d taken the hint. I released the tension from my limbs. Perhaps I wouldn’t have to reveal this to Austin tonight and ruin our night. The last thing anyone wanted to hear on a romantic night was about the other person’s past relationships.
The rest of the concert went by without incident. Austin stayed close to me the entire time. When the concert ended, we held hands and walked out of the venue amid the crowd into the Boston night. I walked away with more confidence as I’d been able to overcome that compulsion to go to Marius. I’d made my choice, just as he’d made his long ago.
The crowds thinned as people headed in different directions.
Austin turned to me. “Do you want to go anywhere else tonight or head back to Salem?”
I exhaled with a slow whoosh. The heat from having Austin so close all night still burned inside me, and I wanted more. I didn’t want the night with him to end.
“I want to go home.” Leaning up to my tiptoes, I moved closer to his ear. “And I want you to come home with me.”
CHAPTER19
AUSTIN
When Pandora invited me home with her, bolts of thunder and lightning surged inside me. My bear had been crawling with excitement all night as I held Pandora close. When we kissed, he urged me to claim her, and it had taken all my self-control not to suggest we leave the concert to go somewhere private.
I struggled to remain as calm as possible while tremendous anticipation burst inside me. “Yes,” I managed to say, although my voice came out a low rumble. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
