Page 85 of Lady Edith and the Registry Office
“You must not feel guilty for the death of Lt. Cooper and the men on the HMSSt. George.”
“Lady Diana, I don’t think-”
She held up a staying hand. “My fiancé died during the war. You did not. Show your regard for all the men who didn’t come home by living your life to the fullest. By grasping happiness.” She jumped to her feet, her eyes tearing up. “Forgive yourself, Nathaniel! The men you served with wouldn’t want you to waste your days in regret for events you cannot change. You are alive. Start living!”
And with those words, she ran from the room.
There was a short silence.
“I’ll make sure Lady Diana is well,” Alicia said as she stood up and exited the music room.
He sat there for a moment in shock. His sister returned momentarily, visibly subdued.
“Lady Diana is returning to Ashford’s townhouse across the square. Her maid is with her and assured me she will look after her mistress.” She retook her seat on the settee. “You look anxious. Can I help?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“She’s right, you know. It’s not your fault, not any of it. Let the guilt go, Nathaniel. You are a good man. You deserve a good life.”
He was silent for a few moments, listening to the bustle of servants in the corridor outside the music room, the sound of his agitated breathing. There had been a few survivors from the HMSSt. Georgewreck. He wondered how those men lived with having survived. Did they feel guilty? Or ashamed for having escaped death?
He gave his sister a weak smile. His mind turned to the upcoming dinner for his friends as a way to distract himself from his own troubles. “You and Cook will be able to manage the supper?”
Alicia sighed as she rose to her feet but let the subject of his melancholia go. “Cook is more than capable. I shall go and consult with her on the menu. How lovely! We haven’t had guests in an age!”
After Alicia left the room, he wandered out into the corridor. Was he hungry? Thirsty? Not really.
So much had occurred in the last two days that he wasn’t concentrating on the missing men as much as he should be. There were too many distractions. And he had to think of a way to get on those hulks in Woolwich.
Nathaniel mounted the stairs to his bedchamber. He settled on his bed and picked up a book from the bedside table. Sometimes, not concentrating on a problem brought him the solution. He opened the book and began to read, soon nodding off.
He was awakened by the dressing gong, surprised to feel so rested. He didn’t know the last time he’d napped in the middle of the day. He stood up and stretched, his valet entering the bedchamber soon after.
The missing veterans, the murder, and the need to search the hulks in Woolwich were all on his mind. There was also the vision of a lovely, intelligent lady who smelled of orange blossoms.
Tomorrow, he would see Edith again. He hoped she liked his home. He pictured her beside him as his hostess, his wife. She’d shown very little interest in Cecil as of late.
Was he wrong to hope?
