Page 1 of Hijack!
Prologue
The ship had been larf-balled for a long time. Almost a millennium, according to the possibly unreliable records, deserted in a stable orbit around an artificial moon labeled “Used Ships—GoodDecent Prices” on the local star charts. The ship couldn’t be inspected since the interior was flooded with preserva-gas to ward off the plasteel-chewing larfs that were the bane of ships transgalactically, but the exterior was promising: cleanly engineered with sleek nacelles balancing a spacious hull, and just enough embellishing trim to suggest it had been built for a spacefaring folk who valuedgooddecent ships.
And it had no obvious holes.
“I’ll take it.”
The Ajellomenes who owned the shipyard waved one tentacular extremity with excessive enthusiasm. “A decent ship, plenty of parsecs left in her—and no larfs!”
“Exactly as advertised, I’m sure. Just one thing. I’m curious about the brief troubles noted in your logs—about a hundred sols ago. The security sensor readings were…well, as I said, curious.”
A few apprehensive bubbles quivered around the Ajellomenes’ beak. “No trouble. We’ve only decent ships here. Probably a minor infestation of sorts, but the gas took care of it. No more noises or lights. Other than the noises and lights thatshouldbe on a decent ship, of course.”
“Of course.” If there was a faint timbre of skepticism in that response, Ajellomenes vibrational filaments were not attuned to receive it.
“And so?” The tips of three more tentacles wriggled eagerly. “What data for the new ident?”
“Ownership: Mr. Evens’ Odds and Ends Shop. Originating: Sunset Falls, Montana, Earth.”
“You mean Dirt? Ah, I’ve heard stories. A cousin’s polyp’s regenerated appendage had dealings there. For a closed world on a lesser spiral, it seems to have a reputation.”
“Only partly deserved, I assure you.”
The Ajellomenes paused, the last bubbles popping. “Not looking for anyothertrouble either.”
“Of course not.” A credit chip flashed. “And send me a copy of those old readings, would you please?” The chip flashed again. “That should be worth your time.”
A few more half-hearted bubbles. “Ship name?”
“Undecided. For now, note it as the Cosmic Connections Cruiser: Love Ship I.”
“So noted.” On the screen, the cursor blinked, each symbol winking into existence like a newborn star. “And finally, who shall be listed as claiming registration?”
The new owner of the Love Ship I smiled. “The Big Sky Intergalactic Dating Agency.”
Chapter 1
It was just a three-sunset tour. Captain Ellix Nehivar had accepted the gig from the owner of the Big Sky Intergalactic Dating Agency while morose and semi-spiked on Alferian ale, but certainly he could sling one old cruiser through a long evening’s jaunt around this uninhabited system without any problems.
He glared across the command module of the Love Ship I—who named their ship such nonsense?—at the likeliest source of trouble he’d identified in his pre-launch assessment of this inaugural voyage.
“It’s going to be so much fun!” From her position in front of the main viewscreen, cruise director Felicity Rowe beamed at his handful of crew members, like a sun that never set.
She was the first Earther he’d met, but Ellix would’ve thought that such a little, fragile, bare-skinned creature with frankly pathetic defensive adaptations and no previous interstellar experience would be more guarded in her expression. Instead, she smiled, even laughed, all the time, with everyone. He’d reviewed the standard expressive contortions, bodily gestures, and pheromone secretions of the various species on board, so he knew she was being genuine. Shewasactually happy to be here.
Even if he might’ve doubted her—which he did, despite the evidence, because how could any being be so… sunny?—everyone on the Love Boat I had been issued a “feelings button” to attach conspicuously to their silver-gray uniforms. About the size of a larf’s enucleated eyeball, the buttons signaled the emotional state of the wearer.
“The buttons facilitate empathy and connection when our guests are interacting,” Felicity had told them at the first all-crew briefing. “They’re also a wonderful opening for curiosityand dialogue as they change hue, tone, and vibration when comparing emotional states. For example, if I’m near an Elnd and I say ‘love’, the button displays symbolic Elnd sensory cues along with the word in the Elnd language, which translates literally as ‘I am melodiously irradiated even in your silence’. Isn’t that fascinating?” She smiled across the deck at the tall, columnar Elnder who was the ship’s chef.
Styr flared the wavy, black-veined phonoplasts along the perimeter of its body. “Because we subsist on acoustic energy, to say we are nourished by someone’s mere presence is very much”—despite everyone being inoculated with a universal translator, it deliberately oscillated the flexible phonoplasts to approximate the Earther word just as Felicity had pronounced it—“love.” Styr tapped its feelings button which displayed a warm pinkish hue and emitted a gentle hum. “I am happy to join this crew that is unfurling an opportunity for such glorious connections across our wondrous universe.”
Ellix’s irate glower was only sharpened by the patch over his missing eye. The irreversible damage was a reminder that the universe wasn’t all wondrous and fascinating—no matter what certain suspiciously effusive brochures might claim.
Happiness. Love. Connection. Seemed as questionable as hiring a cook who ate only sound waves.
Although, what did that say about him being captain?
While the Earther director continued her briefing on the arriving passengers and the night’s itinerary, Ellix shifted restlessly in the center chair, grimacing when his thigh banged on the control arm. During his initial walkthrough, the young Monbrakkan deck tech, Griiek, had woggled her four webbed forefeet, apologizing profusely, and offered to fabricate a bigger seat, but Ellix had declined.
