Page 64 of Amethyst Flame
“Yeah, I’ve seen one of his so-called safe houses. Believe me, it wasn’t where anyone would want to hole up.” I checked my phone. “Oh shit. It’s one a.m.”
“You’ve been out for hours. I texted Swann, let her know you’d get back to her tomorrow.”
I groaned. “She’s gonna kill me.” Despite the hour, I was wide awake now. “I need to head over to Swann’s, save her from my sister.” Might not be as important as saving the world, but I’d take things as they came.
“She said you’d say that, and she told me to tell you not to, that she’s got this.”
I pulled my feet up onto the couch, hugging my knees. Someone had taken my shoes off. “Great. Seems like everybody else has my problems handled.”
He eyed me for a moment then came over to sit on the couch next to me. “Want to talk about it? Getting caught must’ve been scary.”
I canted my head away from him while I gave him serious side-eye. “Now you care?”
His smile was a little softer, and I liked it better. “We’re in this together, Mo. Remember?”
Five months ago, I’d reached out to Jacob because he had the disreputable skills I needed. In the meantime, he’d gone from accomplice to confidante to friend. And then Vegas, when we could’ve tried taking the next step…
“It’s just that…” I shook my head. “Showing Ruskin what I could do was…weird. On the one hand, she was super excited about a synergized hive keyed to my commands. But everything I was doing was…party tricks, I guess.”
Jacob sat back, looking thoughtful. “Well, I think it was smart of you not to show her your bigger tricks.” He gave me another little grin. “Save that for us.”
I tipped my head back against the cushion with a groan. “The dragon configuration was somewhere down there. If I’d been faster, smarter, sneakier, maybe I could’ve gotten it, integrated it with my hive, and blasted my way out of there.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw his lips twist. “Do you…want to be a weapon?”
“No.” Uncertainty made my tone wobble. “But that’s where the power is, right?”
He didn’t immediately disagree. How could he when I wasn’t wrong? We sat there in silence for a moment, then he reached over and took my hand. “It feels pretty out of control sometimes, doesn’t it? Especially when we know we’re only getting part of the story. But I’m here for you, Mo. And I’m not going anywhere.”
We were sitting so close together, and in the air-conditioned gloom, the simple heat of his body felt nice next to mine. A questionable mix of frosting and loneliness made me lean my shoulder into his. But something sweet and satisfying, if not exactly healthy, was okay every once in a while, right?
My BantaMatrix t-shirt wasn’t as cute as my short-shorts and cami set in Vegas, but Jacob didn’t seem to mind. The way I’d kissed him in Vegas—with a certain reckless desperation—was how he kissed me now. Probably too much tongue, and his hand sliding up my arm to cup the back of my skull seemed a little forceful considering what I’d just told him. But even more than the heat and closeness, I wanted the forgetfulness, just a chance to stay in the moment.
“Mmm, chocolate,” he murmured against my lips, and when he finally lifted his head, his smile was sweet too.
I let out the breath I’d been holding while we kissed. “I should’ve at least asked if you wanted some.”
“So ask me if I want some more of this.”
Did I want to ask? Did I want more? For a few minutes, there was nothing but him and me. His laptop and my dirty dishes were abandoned on the coffee tables. My BFF and lil sis were safe together, and my mom was ignoring me while Mr. Super Secret Agent Man was off doing whatever. Everything was on hold, and I could take these minutes for myself. Even my bugs were quiet, nothing blowing up.
Including this thing between Jacob and me.
I flattened my palm against his chest where his heart was banging so hard. But we wouldn’t be. Banging hard, that is.
“Jacob,” I whispered. “Hold up.”
His hand, which had crept halfway up my shirt, paused. “Hold…what?” His voice was thick, his breath raspy. “What’s wrong?”
I wriggled a little more upright, which put his hand on my bare stomach. Part of me wanted to keep going. But there were so many different parts of me now, not even counting my multitude of moths. “Nothing’s wrong. Just…” Awkward.
For another heartbeat, his hand lay heavy on my belly, and I wondered if… But then his fingers curled into a fist, withdrawing from my shirt as he edged back. His expression closed up the same way. Ah shit. Guy ego: as fragile as the refill lead in a mechanical pencil.
I gave him my trademark yes-I-know-I’m-late/broke/wrong-but-aren’t-I-adorable-anyway-sorry-about-that smile and settled on the first excuse. “It’s late. Tomorrow I might have a chance to steal a dragon, and I want to be ready.”
“Yeah.” The way his mouth tightened hinted at more he didn’t say. Probably just as well; I didn’t want to lose him as a friend.
“It’s just…complicated right now,” I went on. “And I don’t want—”
