Page 85 of Gideon
“You didn’t do it for me,” I say sadly. “You did it for you. Let me think you cared. Let me think you wanted the best for me.”
“I did.”
“Well, your best wasn’t and isn’t good for me.”
“That’s fucking obvious,” he scoffs. “It never was. So, why shouldn’t I take what I wanted? I fucking earned it. All those years of pulling you out of random twinks’ beds, covering up and creating the perfect image. I did fucking everything for you, you ungrateful little twat.”
“I know,” I say slowly. “And I’d have given you everything you chose to take if you’d just asked me.”
“What?” he says, looking shocked.
I nod. “I’d have given you anything you wanted, Frankie, because for a very long time I was certain you were my only friend. The only one who supported me.” I shake my head. “I was wrong.”
“So, what are you going to do?” he snaps, and I almost want to admire him. Even now he’s cocksure. It’s no wonder I believed everything he told me. No one disbelieves someone so determinedly certain as Frankie. “Going to send me to fucking prison, Gideon? Because it’ll be a noisy day in the press when I start talking.”
“You won’t talk, actually,” John says coldly. “Because you signed a nondisclosure just the same as the other men you made sign them in the past.” He smiles slightly. “But the difference is that you signed one of mine, and they’re so watertight Houdini couldn’t have got out of them.”
“You can’t stop me,” he says loudly, the bluster showing he knows it’s true.
“I can,” I say, idly clicking the top of a pen on and off. “You owe me a lot of money, Frankie. There is a very clear and indisputable paper trail following you around detailing the thefts and the forging of my signature on various documents. That’s a prison sentence all on its own.”
He seems to deflate suddenly. “So, what now?” he says, sitting back down. “What do you want? I don’t have that money and you know it. You’ll fucking ruin me.”
“I don’t want that,” I say slowly. He looks up, hope rich in his face. I stare at him coldly, watching the flinch he can’t help. “I trusted you,” I say in a low voice. “I even loved you. Saw you as my de facto father for some fucked-up reason. It’s for that reason alone, because I cared a lot for you, that I’m going to let the crime go.”
“Against my advice,” John says coldly. “I don’t find theft and fraud charming, Mr Grantham.”
I shrug. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” I say, standing up and shoving my hands in my pockets. “You are going to leave here with John and go back to London where you will box up all my data from your office as I am no longer your client.” Incredibly, he looks like he wants to argue. “I am going to move management and will release a statement saying it’s a mutual decision and that you are retiring immediately. You can sell your business, which should fetch a pretty penny, and John will then set up a repayment schedule for you to pay everything back. The time for that is not infinite. And that is it. You will keep your reputation, clouded as it is. In return, you will not talk about me or my family.” My face hardens. “You will most certainly never utter a word about Eli. Make no mistake, he is the most important thing in the world to me. Hell, heismy world. If at any point you get greedy or vengeful and talk shit about him or about anything I consider to be my private business, I will unleash hell. Because all of the proof of what you’ve done will be sitting with John, and make no mistake, Frankie, he’s dying to hobble you for this.”
I shake my head and turn to face the window. “Goodbye,” I say quietly.
There’s a long silence and then I hear him say faintly, “I’m sorry, Gid.” For a second, my memory floods with all the times we laughed together, the huge plans we had, our victories and extravagant celebrations, and I squeeze my eyes shut as the door closes silently behind me and a part of my life comes to an end.
Eventually, I slump into a chair. I feel hollowed out. I don’t know whether I’ve done the right thing for my career, but I’m sure I’ve done the right thing for my sanity and my life. However, what I do know is that I feel free. Free and able to be with the man I love, and I have a sudden powerful yearning to feel his arms around me and hear that beloved warm voice calm me.
Suddenly the room fills with the scent of pipe tobacco and leather. I look around, startled, as a breeze that doesn’t come from the window ruffles my hair, and I feel a sense of almost paternal approval and watch the room lighten as if the sun has flooded through it.
“What the fuck?” I breathe out as the room seems alive with a presence even though there’s only me here. Then my phone rings and the light vanishes, as does the smell.
“What the fuck?” I say again disbelievingly. The phone rings again, and I pull it out and click to answer. Not recognising the number, I say hello tentatively.
“Is that Gideon Ramsay?” a voice with a strong Yorkshire accent says.
“It might be,” I say slowly. “Although if you’re selling something, then it most certainly isn’t Gideon Ramsay.”
There’s a startled silence for a second and then a deep chuckle sounds. “You’re exactly as I pictured you.”
“Is this a pervy phone call? Because I don’t know if you’ve seen my latest interview, but I’m most definitely taken now,” I say quickly.
“I did,” the voice says. “It’s the reason for me ringing you. I’m Asa Jacobs.”
I blink. Asa Jacobs is a hugely popular actor. A big bloke with wild hair who’s famously bisexual. He got married to a male model last year, and I’m always seeing pictures of the two of them looking extremely happy together. I’d long held him up as an example to Frankie, only to be dismissed as it not being possible for me.
“We were talking about me doing the series with you,” I say slowly. “But then you backed out. Said I wasn’t what you were looking for.” That had fucking hurt at the time.
“Not actually the case,” he says mildly. “Your manager put the kibosh on it. Didn’t want you associating with us sexual delinquents.” He pauses. “Only in light of your current relationship status, I’d like to offer you a place with us sexual rogues. It looks like you’ll fit right in.”
I start to laugh incredulously. “Really?” I’d wanted desperately to do the show. It’s a fantasy series based on a set of incredibly well-written books, and there isn’t a taboo they haven’t covered. The part they’d offered me had been as a baddie, and it was incredibly juicy. I had been so looking forward to doing it, having grown tired of the perfect-looking characters Frankie kept putting me up for. Boring heroes.
