Page 31 of Gideon
“He’s giving us time to talk. He’s having lunch.”
“He’s not jealous?”
She smiles serenely. “Not at all. He knows there’s nothing to be worried about.”
“Does he know?” I hesitate, thinking of the messy ropes of our friendship, the times I tried to fuck her and couldn’t get it up, the threesomes we’d had so that I could fuck another man using Jacinta as cover.
She immediately shakes her head. “Never,” she says. “I will never tell anyone that, Gid. That’s our secret.”
“We have so many.”
“Not anymore,” she says, standing up and flopping into my lap. “I have a feeling that all the things we kept secret for so long are rising to the surface.”
“Like pond scum,” I say grimly, thinking of the dark murk that my career has encased me in.
“Don’t say that,” she says softly, coiling her arms around my neck and gifting me with the scent of the Dune perfume that she’s always worn.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly.
“What for?”
“For everything. For the way I used you as some sort of beard.” I hesitate. “Are you sure that didn’t contribute to the drug use?”
“Oh, get over yourself,” she scoffs. “Not everything is about you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say piously. “I have to say that I think you’re very wrong with that statement.”
She laughs and hugs me. “Gid, you never used me. You were my rock. The one person who knew me and loved me anyway. Unconditional love is what I got from you, and I loved every minute with you. We were like twins.”
“Only if it was in the Roman Empire,” I mutter, but I smile, remembering the times we kicked out the other man and lay in bed sharing a pillow and room service, laughing and talking and plotting our next escapade. I feel a pang of loss that this won’t happen again. I love that she’s clean and happy, but I’ve lost the one person I could be myself with after Niall left.
She laughs. “Okay, I’ll give you that.” As if sensing my lost feelings, she strokes my face. “Gid, you’re my family and I love you utterly. No matter what happens, I will always love you.” She sighs. “I just want you to admit that you’re loveable and that you deserve happiness rather than living like this.”
“Living like what?”
“On the edge of disaster. You’re like a fucking boat that’s slipped its mooring. You’re so lost, love, and you nearly fucking died.”
“You’ve been listening to Niall too much.”
She smirks. “When he can stop talking about his boy toy.”
“Ugh, that’s my brother.”
She laughs. “It’s actually not the Roman Empire. It’s the Borgias.”
“Didn’t that end in poison and death?” I say lightly, but her face falls.
“Don’t mention death,” she says fiercely. “I nearly lost you.”
“You’ll never lose me,” I say softly.
“Promise.” She stares at me. “Promise me the way you promised that gorgeous nurse. I know you when you mean something.”
I shake my head. “I thought for a moment you’d dropped it.”
She scoffs. “Love, you know better.” She nudges me. “He’ssogorgeous.”
I sigh. “He’s also young, and he has his shit together. When did weeverpick people like that?”
