Page 66 of Milo
He’s towelling himself off, his movements sharp and jerky, and he doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Niall,” I say imploringly. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”
“Oh, so you didn’t mean to say that it was fine for me to fuck other people and there’s nothing between us apart from sex which is bound to get boring as there aren’t multiple penises involved?”
“No,” I say miserably. “P-Please, Niall. L-Let me talk.” I hear the stutter and want to punch myself in the fucking throat.Not now.
He folds his arms. “Go ahead. ” His expression is stormy.
“I d-d-don’t want …” I pause. “I don’t … I don’t …” Powerful red-tinged rage fills me suddenly from somewhere deep inside me, the place where I have to watch myself stammer and pause and deep breathe all the time. And before I know I’m going to do it, I grab a vase from a side table and throw it against the far wall. The sound of the smash of the pottery echoes through the room and everything goes still apart from the noise of our breathing. I stand and pant, unable to believe that I just threw something during a row. I never once lost control like this with Thomas. I wouldn’t have dared.
“Feel better?” he says roughly.
“Oh God, Niall,” I start to say but then gasp as he comes away from his standing position so quickly I don’t have time to move before he grabs me, fisting my hair and kissing me furiously.
For a second I tense with old memories rising, but then the smell of him surrounds me and he gives the low groan that he always gives when he kisses me and I relax suddenly. And now that I’ve relaxed, I can recognise that although his grip is tight and his mouth impassioned, the hand in my hair is still gentle. I sag into him and kiss him back and for a second, all I can feel are heat and panting breaths and hot skin sliding against hot skin.
I give a groan when he pulls back as quickly as he kissed me. “Oh shit, Lo,” he groans. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“Oh no, Niall.” I grab his arms as he tries to move back. “Don’t you do that. Don’t pull away and treat me like I’m made of china. I don’t want that.”
“What do you want?”
“I want you to treat me as your equal. Someone who stands on the same ground as you. I don’t want you to hesitate with me and second-guess everything. I want you to talk to me honestly and tell me what you’re feeling. And don’t hold back.”
“Really?” His breaths are more like pants on the side of my face and there’s rosy colour in his cheeks. “So, if I tell you that Idon’t think I’ll ever grow bored of having one person in my bed if that person is you, you won’t freak out? When I tell you that there is no room for anyone else in my head at any time? That you fill me up all the time, in bed and out of it, so that all I can think of is you? That I can’t remember a time when you didn’t occupy some part of my mind, but now you’re lodged in all of it?”
I swallow hard, feeling panic and joy winging equally through me, and he glares at me. This has drifted so far from what we were when I climbed into his bed a couple of weeks ago, and I don’t know what to do. He must sense it because his next words echo my thoughts.
“So, you’re okay with hearing that, Milo? Because it doesn’t seem to fit with any of these fucking parameters that you keep banging on about.”
“I’m not sure what our parameters are anymore,” I say slowly, my tongue freed with him. “The only thing I know is that I want to be with you.” I stare at him, looking into his turbulent eyes, and hesitate over my next words.
He immediately shakes his head. “Oh no, Lo. You wanted no barriers. What were you going to say?”
“I don’t want you to sleep with anyone else,” I whisper, breaking into his words and stopping him into absolute stillness.
“Milo,” he says brokenly, and suddenly I’m in his arms and he’s taking my mouth with a feverish determined kiss that somehow hurts my heart, and I wind my arms around him and pull him close to me. “What else do you want?” he whispers, leaving my mouth and burying his head in my shoulder. “Tell me.”
I pause, and the words flood out. “I want you to fuck me.” He stiffens and I fist my hand in his hair, pulling his head up. “I want that,” I say fiercely. Seeing the doubts rising on his lips, I shake my head crossly at him. “I’ve wanted it for a while and it’s becoming a need.” I twist against him, feeling his cock hardagainst me and hearing his groan. “I need you to fuck me. I trust you. I don’t want gentle and holding back. I want all of you.”
He pulls back and stares at me. His eyes are dark and his mouth swollen and he looks at me closely, his eyes intent and almost blind. “You’re sure?” he asks and when I go to object, he raises his hand to stop me. “You’ll get all of me, Lo, but a lot of me is this desire to protect you. It’ll always be there as will the need to check you’re okay. Get used to it.”
I take a deep breath. “Niall, I want you to make love to me.” I don’t realise what I’ve said until he gives a stifled gasp and I redden. “Oh, I didn’t mean to …”
“Shut up,” he mutters, grabbing my face between his big hands and dragging me near for a deep kiss. “Shut up and get on the bed.”
I swallow hard and move slowly as if I’m drifting through deepening waters towards the bed, feeling his body at my back, the heat wafting from him. I almost wish that I could pause this so I could analyse and pick apart all these conflicting emotions in me that both push me towards him and make me want to pull back at the same time. Then his hand trails down my back and I decide thinking might be overrated.
I climb onto the big bed and lie back looking at him as he stands by the side of the bed, his towel tented at the front and his eyes avid as they roam down my body, pausing at the tight nubs of my nipples and the hard length of my cock.
I lift the covers up. “Get in. It’s cold away from the fire.” A soft expression crosses his face and he pulls the towel away, letting it drop in a puddle at his feet as he climbs into the bed and lies down next to me.
For some reason, I feel open and exposed under that clear gaze, and he reads me easily. He always seems to find it easy. Bending to take my mouth, he kisses me for ages untilmy breaths are short and my mind clouded. Until my lips are swollen and my cock is hard and leaking.
Then he pulls away and tracks biting kisses that leave marks on my skin all down my body, tracing the sharp bones of my ribs and sucking on my hipbones like an animal nibbling and licking, before moving into my crotch. He nestles his face there, inhaling deeply and biting gently at the area where my thigh meets my groin.
I can hear my breathing loud in the quiet room, and I groan under my breath at the touch of his tongue to my cock. My brain has gone dark with no worries or concerns, just a drifting warm pleasure with no room for anything else because Niall is bossy in bed and that bossiness sets me free.
