Page 72 of Milo
“Who want something from you. What about someone who just wants somethingforyou? I want you to find that someone.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve never met anyone who was worth stopping for.”
“You will.” I pause. “I wonder if it will be a man.”
He looks diverted. “I shouldn’t think so. I’m attracted to men, but I don’t know whether I’d settle down with one.”
“That’s because you’re thinking with a bisexual penis rather than a bisexual heart. Someone’s going to come along and shake that up. I can feel it.”
He shudders. “Well, don’t. Take some penicillin and stop it.” He pauses and looks pensive. “Anyway, it couldn’t be a man.”
“Why?”
“Because it would finish my career.”
“Would it, bollocks,” I say crossly. “There are plenty of gay men in the industry.”
“And you don’t see many of them playing the roles I do. The leading man walks off into the sunset with a woman, not a man.”
“It hasn’t done Asa Jacobs any harm.”
He shakes his head. “He’s different.”
“How?”
“He was bisexual from the beginning. He was always honest.” He pauses and takes a slug from the bottle. “I haven’t beenhonest,” he continues in a whisper. “And my fans would never forgive me. I would feel as if I’d let them down.”
“They buy tickets to your films, Gideon. It doesn’t give them an automatic backstage pass to your life. They’d get over it. You’re still an amazing actor.”
He shakes his head impatiently. “You don’t understand. Frankie says–”
“Oh, Frankie,” I say scornfully, thinking of his wanker of a manager. “Frankie would sell your used tissues if he felt it would make him money. You’re a cash cow to him and that’s all.” He snorts, and I grab his arm. “You’re not that for me, Gideon. You’re my brother and I love you.” The words fall into the silence like petals on a pond and to my amazement, his eyes fill. “Gideon,” I say, and he sniffs.
“Ignore me. I’m just being disgustingly sentimental.”
I nudge him. “Who knew I’d be around for that? I think the last time was 1997.”
He laughs and hugs me tightly. “I love you too,” he says softly. “I’d like to see more of you though, if that’s possible?”
It’s my turn to blink. “I’d like that very much.”
He kisses my head affectionately, the way he used to before the differences in our ages and the disparate way our parents treated us pushed us away from each other like we were on diverging currents on a river. “Well, I’ve accepted a job in a series that’s filming near you, so we can do that.”
“Where?” I ask but he bops me on the nose.
“Nowhere you know,” he says comfortably and passes me the bottle. “Let’s finish this and reminisce about the time that Niall got drunk and mistook our neighbour’s house for ours.” He smiles. “I can still hear Mr. Finton’s scream when Niall got into bed with him.”
Chapter
Fifteen
Lo, there’s more than a touch of the minx about you.
Niall
I find him in our room later that night. The lamps are lit, filling the room with a soft glow, and a fire crackles in the grate, making the room warm and cosy. He’s lying on the chaise lounge wrapped in a blanket and watching the snow fall outside that’s lit strangely by the balcony light.
When I close the door he turns and for an instant, there’s a very strange expression on his face. I want to call it happiness mixed with apprehension, but it disappears so quickly I can’t manage to categorize it. Nevertheless, I feel uneasy for some reason, as if something has shifted that I didn’t pay attention to.
