Page 12 of Milo
I shrug. “Oz has read so many baby books he should take out shares in Penguin Books. I listen when he talks, and it also tends to go in like osmosis.”
He sips his coffee and watches as I squirt the bottle on my inner arm to test the heat. “You’re very good at it.” He pauses as if thinking hard. “Do you want children?”
I can’t help my startled laugh as I walk towards Cora. She spots the bottle and immediately bounces in her chair like a baby bird in the nest. I unstrap her and, cradling her in one arm, I sit down. Seeing that I have my hands full, he immediately reaches over and takes off the top of the bottle for me. I smile my thanks and for some reason, he looks awkward, his cheeks flushing.
I stare at him as I feed Cora the nipple of the bottle and she settles heavy against me. “You alright?” I ask.
He nods quickly. “You never answered my question,” he says abruptly.
I jerk and whisper my sorry as Cora loses the bottle and gives me an accusing look. Settling her again, I look back at him. “Do I want children?” I shake my head. “No, I don’t think I’d be very good.”
“Why? You’re amazing with her.”
I shrug. “Thank you.” I sigh. “I’ve been so fucked up for years and I don’t think that’s a very good thing in a parent. They need someone confident and sure of themselves.”
“Bollocks,” he says, and there’s a cross note in his voice. “You’re perfect. So you had a stutter and had bad taste in thepartner you picked. So fucking what? Those things don’t matter. What does matter is that you’re warm and funny and you really listen to people. You bloody care and that’s in short supply in this world. I also happen to think that you’re plenty fierce when it matters to you. A baby would be very lucky to have you in his or her corner.”
I stare at him with my mouth open and he flushes, looking extremely awkward. It’s such a rare sight that I relish it without knowing why. Finally, I stir. “Thank you.”
He shrugs, reaching for his coffee and picking the newspaper back up. He then starts to discuss world events with a slightly feverish determination. I take part, but I can’t help the small glances I give him as I sit in the sunlit kitchen with Cora’s weight and baby smell surrounding me. It’s why I’m able to catch the quick glances he keeps giving me too. What is happening right now?
I’m no nearer an explanation by night time. The day has been spent walking the house with the housekeeper as we prepare to close down for the winter. Silas only opensChi an Morfor six months of the year and for the rest of the time the house is closed to the general public. It’s a magic time when the place seems to return to its true self. Silence falls, and instead of people talking and laughing there is the sound of the sea and the wind in the trees.
However, this year we won’t have so much quiet as a film crew is using the house to film a fantasy TV series. It’s the second time they’ve done it, and I know Oz and Silas are hoping that it’s popular enough to get the rest of the books they’re based on filmed. The books are a huge success and the TV series hasbrought a lot of visitors to the house, so the shop regularly sells out of memorabilia.
So for the next few weeks, rather than shutting the house up for the autumn, Polly, the housekeeper, and I will be going around with a list that’s longer than my body of what needs to be done before the film crew arrives in a month. Consequently, I’m tired, dirty, aching, and looking forward to a nice bath and maybe a takeaway.
Cora has been an angel. She’s used to being carted all over the house by Oz and she loves people. Any people. She’d, therefore, sat happily in the sling attached to me looking out at everyone like a tiny queen.
I haven’t seen Niall at all after the strange episode this morning. He strode out muttering that he’d be on the bottom field if I needed him, and he didn’t even come back for lunch, which he usually manages to do. I frown as I look down at Cora as we move through the lounge on our way to the bathroom to give her a bath.
“Don’t tell anyone,” I whisper to her. “But I actually missed him today. I know he’s forceful and arrogant, but I do like his company. Do you think that’s silly?”
She stares back at me and bats my lip with a tiny fist. I grab it and kiss it and she chortles, giving me a wide, gummy smile.
“Okay,” I say briskly. “We’ll give you a lovely bath. And then it’s a nice bottle and bed. What do you think?” She stares at me and I nod and make my eyes wide in an exaggerated fashion that I’ve learned babies like. “You’ll be such a lovely clean girl and maybe Niall will come to see you before bedtime.” I sigh. “I’m not mentioning him again, Cora. Stop me if I do because before you know it, I’ll be making myself a fool over him like I’m thirteen again.” I shudder at the memory of my crush. “God, it’s embarrassing looking back on that,” I say. “Push it away, Milo.”
I shove the bathroom door open and stop. “Does it seem cold in here to you?”
Obviously, she doesn’t answer so I stride over to the radiator and, juggling her on my hip, I reach out and touch it. It’s stone cold.
“What the hell?” I whisper. I think back to the radiator not working in my workroom and, now I come to think of it, the lounge had been cold in the apartment. I’d dismissed it as Silas and Oz thinking of the bills they’d have if they heated an empty apartment, but maybe it’s not that.
I exit the bathroom and try the radiator in Cora’s room. It’s ice-cold too. A horrible thought occurs to me and, retracing my steps to the bathroom, I turn the hot tap on. Letting it run for a second, I stick my fingers under the flow of water and pull back with a hiss. It’s freezing.
“Shit!” I say.
Cora chuckles and I look down at her and shake my head. “You didn’t hear that, and you definitely are not going to make it your first word.” She stares back at me and I cuddle her close. “Well, Cora Bora, the heating’s broken. Shall we go and try and get the boiler to work or shall we ring Niall?”
She kicks her legs at the sound of his name and I kiss her forehead, inhaling the faint scent of baby shampoo.
“Maybe he’ll repair it shirtless.” I shake myself. “Stop it, Milo.”
Pulling my phone out, I press the button to ring him. The phone rings for a few seconds before his deep voice comes over the line, making me shiver slightly. “Lo,” he says quickly. “Everything okay?”
“Not really,” I sigh. “The heating’s off and the water’s cold. I think the boiler’s broken down again.”
“Shit,” he mutters. “I told Silas he needed a new one and it was a priority before winter.”
