Page 90 of Oz
“Must you do it now? They’ll be serving supper any minute.”
“Yes, it won’t wait. What did you say to Oz?”
“Oh, Oz, Oz, Oz. I think I’d like to go an hour without hearing his name being mentioned.”
“Try not upsetting him then,” Silas says with an edge to his voice.
“Upsettinghim. What about me, Silas? What about your mother’s feelings?”
“Hmm, let me think. No, I still don’t care.”
“Yes,” Henry whispers. “I told you. Epic.”
“That’s a disgraceful thing to say, Silas. And to your own mother.”
“Stop it.” His voice is weary and harsh, and I feel my slight smile fade off my face. “I can’t find him, and I want to know what you said.”
There’s a pause before she gives a long-suffering sigh. “Very well. I’m obviously not going to be allowed to have supper before we do this. I simply pointed out to him that he’s not good enough for you. A fact which should be blindingly obvious to him and to you.”
“You didwhat?” Silas’s voice is low and so cold now that I shiver.
She obviously senses it because her laugh sounds nervous. “Darling, be reasonable. He’s a boy from a council estate and a single-parent family. Look at all those tattoos on him. And the nail varnish and eye makeup. It makes me shudder.”
“I’m appalled at you.” His voice is cold and still.
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. Have your fun with him but then pack him back where he came from and select someone respectable. Maybe a woman next time.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Mother. I wish you’d understand.”
“I understand that you’re naïve in a lot of ways. That boy is using you. He’s seen the money and–”
She stops as he laughs. “Whatbloody money? There is none. Father left so much debt I could suffocate myself with thepaperwork. But you knew that and did nothing. The only person who has, is him. He’s done everything in his power to help me and he’s the only one. You’ve done nothing.”
“You cannot be serious about this man. I forbid it. Think of your position.”
I curl my fingers into fists. This is awful. A warm hand squeezes mine and in the faint light coming through the side of the door Henry looks at me. He smiles. “Wait,” he whispers.
Silas’s voice is solemn. “I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me. I’ve always done my duty for you and everyone else. And now I want something of my own. Someoneof my own. I want to pick my partner, not because of money and status but because I love them with all my heart.” I inhale sharply as his voice goes quiet. “I love Oz. I love him so very much. He’s clever and kind. He sees me and he loves me, and he will always protect me the way I do him. I won’t tolerate anyone speaking to him the way you just did. We’re a team and I couldn’t be happier with him.”
I feel a rush of happiness run through me that’s so strong it nearly knocks me to my knees.
“But you could do better.” Her voice is sharp and querulous.
I tense but his voice comes clear now. “No, I couldn’t.” There’s a simple truth and honesty in his voice that brings tears to my eyes. “I canneverdo better than him because he’s everything I have ever wanted. He’s quick and funny and loyal, and this man who could have anyone actually waits up for me at night for the simple reason that he wants to seeme. He listens when I talk because it’s me. Not the Earl of Ashworth. Just me. He makes me think, makes me laugh, makes me want to be a better man because his opinion is the only one that matters.”
“But what will people think, Silas?” I tense because this is all my fears in one sentence. “He’s so low class and brash.”
Unbelievably he laughs. “Who the fuck cares about everyone’s opinions? I certainly don’t. Not when I have him. I don’t care where he comes from, Mother. I only care that in him I’ve found my home, my safety, and my ease.” He pauses. “Do you know how many people want to live out here? You should think hard because you weren’t one of them. Oz loves it here the way I do, like it’s in his bones, and if I have my way we’ll grow old here together and die with the salt on our lips and sand in our hair.”
“I don’t understand.”
He sounds sad. “I’m sorry for that because you’ve missed out on loving with your heart rather than with a copy of their CV and Debretts in your hand. Don’t you see it doesn’t matter to me? Yes, Oz may have a different background to us, but I’ve been to his home and I’ve met his mother and I’ve got to tell you that I was jealous.”
“Of what?” The incredulity is loud in her voice.
“Of the love and care they give each other. The fierceness, the devotion. I want that, and I want to give it to him because he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life. So, if you feel that you can’t be civil to him and can’t be kind then please don’t come here anymore.”
“You’d throw your family out for him. Shame on you.”
