Page 16 of A Twist in Fate
“Sorry, yes.” I look away and up at the stars, which stand out clearly across the dark sky but I quickly go back to clear up the smaller mess around us. The way my heart beats against my chest, when I look up at her, is also entirely wrong. She is my sister's best friend and there's no way it could work out if she is going back home in a few weeks. The reasons could be endless why it's wrong but all the time I have spent with her has felt right in every way. It has not even been two weeks, and I think I am going insane.
Every moment with her has been effortless. Every time her hair falls in front of her face, I want to push it behind her ear, cup her face so her dark brunette eyes look up at me if I did. Every time my hand reaches hers, even a small accidental brush, I want to keep it there. It feels like it is supposed to be there. Every time I say something that makes her laugh, I want to think of something else to say just to hear it again. It is the only sound I could hear for the rest of my life, and I would die a happy man.
I am well aware I sound a little obsessed with Ivy, but I honestly just hate that I have spent too long trying to repress anything I have been feeling. I have done that in the past and I know it only makes everything worse in my life. I don't want to repress how I feel when I'm with her. I want to kiss her and hold her in the time we have.That is definitely insane.
My dangerous thoughts are broken when I start to hear a countdown from ten in the distance. The field is much tidier now so I move closer to the campfire, sitting on one of the logs and then I turn around to meet her confused gaze.
“Sit down with me, sunshine. I want to watch the fireworks with you.” I pat the space beside me on the same log. She laughs a little before walking over to the campfire and sitting beside me. She looks up at the sky, a smile coming across her face as the children count down in the distance.
4…3…2…1…
Within seconds, four or five fireworks shoot up into the sky, exploding loudly. Ivy jumps slightly beside me, and I instinctively wrap one arm around her waist and the other lies on her knee. I turn my focus onto her, not sure if I could move unless she wanted me to, but she gives mea smile. A comfortable, easy and happy smile. After our eyes lock for a moment, we look back at the sky above us. Another five or six fireworks shoot up into the sky but then it's quiet for a moment.
One single firework rises into the sky and explodes out into what looks like a million glowing fibres. Bronze and golden fibres. The same ones that erupt in my stomach when I look into her eyes because that feeling resembles the irresistible chestnut within them. The same mahogany that is everywhere she is. She is in the fireworks and the sunsets across the lakes. The radiance that lives within her has this rich glow that, as I watch the sky, I feel across my heart. My eyes travel beside me, Ivy is staring at the sky but when she notices me her focus shifts to me.
I know it now. I know why I can't get her out of my head. I know why I can’t get rid of that feeling in my heart. While I may not a part of her planned future, she is officially in mine. I cannot live another moment ignoring the way I am completely captivated by her. The way I am with her feels so right because it simply is.
My eyes travel to her lips and the moment between us feels as though it's in slow motion. It feels like my mind is desperate to remember every single aspect. The soundof fireworks still crackles above us, but I refuse to focus on anything else.I am solely enthralled by her.
“Is everything okay Lucas?” she asks softly, tilting her head towards me. The way she breathes my name and the way her eyes move to my lips is captivating me too. She moves closer, my arm still placed firmly on her waist. Does she want me to kiss her? I definitely want to kiss her.
Fuck it.
I lean in and her soft lips meet mine. Ivy stills ever so slightly so I pull away but as soon as I open my eyes and my lips start to leave hers, she leans back up towards me. Her lips are on mine again. It is so incredibly perfect. She is perfect.
It is as if the entire world completely disappears around us, or at least it does for me. Other than the rapid pound of my heart, all I can feel is her. The warmth of her hands as they slide up my chest and dive into my hair and the warmth of her skin against mine. The fireworks above us could be a sign for the end of the earth and I wouldn't care or maybe I wouldn’t even notice. This would be the best way to go. The kiss is indefinite at first as if she were choosing if she really wants this, but quickly her actions mirror my own. The kiss becomes one of desperation. Ifocus on committing every feature of the moment to detail. The taste of her lips and the way they move against my own, the smell of roses radiating from her hair and the way I hold her waist tightly as if she might slip away in seconds.
I hadn't known until now, this very moment, how I truly feel about her. Before, I was trying to convince myself she wasn't what I needed in my life, that it was too complicated. I don't want to try to convince myself of anything anymore. Every single moment I've spent with her, the stolen glances, every slight touch, every laugh or smile has been leading to this moment, and I don't want to ever let her go. Nothing about her will ever too complicated if I feel like this.
Suddenly, she pulls away abruptly, her hands slipping from my hair. I feel my heart drop and the anxiety whirl in my stomach. She makes it obvious to move away, looking forward and back to the sky, but it doesn't hide the crimson colour forming on her cheeks.
“Lucas,” she sighs, looking toward me now but still not fully meeting my eyes. “That shouldn't have happened.”
“Ivy,” I say, sternly, trying to ignore the race of my heartbeat and the pain in my chest following it, “it definitely should have happened.”
“No, it shouldn't have.” She matches my tone staring down at her lap like she does every time she is nervous. “There cannot be anything between us. You're my best friend's brother. I am leaving in a few weeks. I barely know you. It would be too messy. It is just too complicated.” I instantly ignore her words, while I know they are true she is ignoring the most important thing. The only thing that really matters to me.
“Ivy, I really like you, I'm not afraid to admit that, especially to my sister. I understand why you think anything to do with me is a bad idea, but why can't we just enjoy the time we have together. Even if you're leaving, I cannot ignore the way I feel about you for the next four weeks and I know for a fact you cannot ignore whatever this is between us." I gesture back and forth, from her to me, as I speak.
“We met less than two weeks ago!”
“I'm not confessing my love to you. I just like being around you a lot and want you to know that!” Well done idiot, bring love into it that totally doesn't scare a womanyou're interested in. Fuck. This is really not going my way.I am definitely not thinking straight.
“Lucas, there is nothing between us. If there was, it wouldn't work. I'm sorry.” She gets up to start walking towards her cabin and I feel my heart calling after her. What the hell is wrong with me? That kiss is unforgettable and there is no way that my feelings are not reciprocated. I'm sure of it. She turns back for a moment, looking at me with an expression full of pain.
“Keep telling yourself that, Ivy. I am happy to wait for you.” As I say it, it feels like a promise. A vow. Our eyes lock for a moment but she shuts the door before they can linger.Well, that went well.
I am determined to be hers, in any way. I know that she believes that being with me can't work and maybe she is right but all I know is that I want to spend every last moment with her if possible. I don't want to have to ignore the fact that I find her impossibly stunning and incredibly amazing to be with or to talk to. My only intention right now is her and I won't give up easily.
CHAPTER 8
Ivy
Song 8
Every breath you take – The police
10/07
