Page 75 of Bound By Pain
Maybe this is what we both need to move forward. Small pieces of connection to prevent us from falling apart when our potential bond fades to dust.
“Well?” I raise one brow in question when he lingers on the elevator. He snaps out of his shocked stupor and leads me to the parking garage. The distance he carefully keeps between us hurts. Irrationally, because I know it is better for us both this way.
A blacked-out Jeep sits in the visitor parking. The militarized look is so utterly Alpha that I know it is his before he opens the passenger door. Lex helps boost me inside, offering me a pair of plain white tennis shoes to replace my heels. His thoughtfulness makes my heart race, though I don’t know how long it will last.
We travel into the city, sitting in awkward silence as we fight the early afternoon traffic. I sneak little glances his way, studying the sharp angle of his jaw and the unruly dark blonde strands of hair that fall over his forehead. He’s so handsome. Like an angel fallen to the Earth and cursed to a mortal life. He even has the brooding attitude to match.
The park he drives us into is lively. Several food trucks sit along the inner curve, where families split their attention between their picnics and the nearby playground. A band plays music on the opposite side, garnering a small crowd and adding to the chill atmosphere.
We park and climb out, stretching in the late afternoon sun. The last of the rays before it sinks beyond the horizon and leaves us with the nightly, late November temperature drop. I wrap my sweater tighter around my torso and join Lex on the walking trail in front of us.
Dogs bark in the distance as we walk, playing in a nearby enclosed park. Kids laugh. Music plays. But not a word is shared between us.
His steps are certain. Not hurried, more so taken with purpose. Like he has an unshared destination in mind.
I’m in awe when we round a bend in the path and find ourselves in a grove of flowers. So many vibrant colors peek from beneath the green leaves, framing the benches placed along the outer edges. My fingers run over the petals of a lingering sunflower, smiling when the soft scent of it reminds me of my best friend.
Soon, these beautiful plants will fade beneath the harsh cold of winter. I didn’t know there was any place in the city that housed plants that bloom this late in the year. Not as abundant as this grove, anyway.
Lex sits on one of the wrought-iron benches, leaving room for me to join him. He’s leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, as he watches me walk around the circular area.
“This is amazing,” I tell him as I finally slide onto the seat next to him.
His head bobs in agreement. “My mother loved it here.”
Sorrow makes my heart ache, knowing he lost his mother as a child. To have a place like this to remember her by… It’s both incredibly sweet and sad.
“There are three more groves like this in the park. Each one is carefully maintained to grow plants for a different season. We’d spend our Saturday mornings here. Reading in the groves before she’d take me to the playground to run off the rest of my energy.”
“That sounds like a wonderful memory.”
A lift of his shoulders accompanies the light pink that spreads across his cheeks. Silence envelops us once more, but it is no longer awkward. We’re both enjoying the peace this grove offers.
Knuckles brush against the back of my hand, tentative at first, before he entwines his fingers with mine. My lips part, arm tensing from the unexpected contact.
“I started therapy,” Lex tells me, squeezing my hand to stop me from pulling away. “Well, I’ve technically only attended one appointment, but I’m trying. A lot of things in my past have fucked me up, fractured my ability to trust. Letting people in isn’t my specialty.”
His words have me swallowing thickly. They sound too much like a promise, one I cannot allow myself to believe. Not when he has gone to such great lengths to drive this wedge between us. Though not as cold as Shiloh, he still loudly rejected our connection.
“Watching from the shadows as you build your pack and find the happiness Fate devised for you… that isn’t the future I wantfor myself. Walking away isn’t an option, not when every fiber of my being already belongs to you.”
My breath freezes in my lungs, burning as I hang onto every word. My heart swears this is it, the moment we’ve been waiting for, but my mind warns me to proceed with caution. “So, what does that mean?”
He pulls my hand to him, deliberately meeting my eye as he brushes a kiss over my knuckles. “It means I am working on it. Facing my demons so I can be the Alpha you need. One who can open up to you without worrying about accidentally hurting you with my unresolved trauma.”
“I need you to say it. Tell me what you want from me, Lex.”
“I want to be yours. To claim you and have you claim me in return.”
My lips press against his before he finishes speaking. Months of longing have led to this moment. Though we may have hurt each other, there were no promises between us. Only chemistry and a connection Fate chose for us.
Even bound by pain, we have to choose each other.
CHAPTER 32
Soft,pillowy lips press to mine, and it’s like the world suddenly feels right. The pressure on my shoulders lifts the tiniest bit, relieved by her energetic response to a request she should deny.
I cave to the instincts writhing inside of me. One hand slips to the back of her neck, pulling her tighter against me. My tongue licks across her lips before dipping inside, savoring the faint taste of her mixed with the remnants of her afternoon coffee.
