Page 83 of These Bonds that Unite Us
My heat is here.
Stumbling from the pile of blankets and stolen clothes in my nest takes significant effort with the horrible cramps. They don’t usually come on this quickly, but given everything my body has been through over the past half a year it makes sense this heat might be as fucked up as the rest of my life.
I open the door to the pack bedroom, hoping to find one of my mates to ease the need flowing through my veins like lava. No one is in sight. Leaning against the bed to fight throughanother cramp, I glance to the side to see both the bathroom and closet doors open. The rooms beyond dark and empty.
A sinking feeling starts to spark in my heart, a gnawing sense of panic that slowly builds as I head downstairs to find the kitchen and living room vacant as well.
Where are my mates?
Closing my eyes, I block out the waves of pain and insistent desire long enough to see the spot in my heart where my bonds sit. The threads are there, but they’re stretched taut, the emotions from their side muted. My eyes fly open, a frown marring my face. Weird, but not unheard of. If they’re practicing and I’m not with them, they usually mute the bond so they can focus.
Running with that train of thought, I slowly work my way down the stairs. I pass room after darkened room until I reach their in-home studio. Hope swells in my heart when I see the closed door, but it shatters when I inch it open to find yet another unoccupied space.
“Guys?” My shout echoes back to me, unanswered.
Maybe they are out on the patio? Or at the beach?
The pain is so strong now I have to crawl up the stairs. Tears stream down my cheeks and blood coats my mouth from where I’ve bitten my cheek trying to ride out one of the waves. I collapse on the top step, curling in on myself and trying to force my pain and need down the bond I share with three of my mates.
The back door is too far away, but I spy a marker on the coffee table a few feet away. I can make it there, I think.
Grabbing the marker, I flop back to the floor. Panting and dazed and so fucking scared it’s taking every ounce of strength I have to not fall apart. The ink presses to my skin, my intent making the words tingle as I send them to all four men.
‘My heat is starting. Please come back to the house.’
Consciousness slips in and out as the ache of this heat wave surges through my exhausted body. I need a knot. Why aren’t my mates here? Why aren’t they answering? Panic crawls through my mind, twisting my every thought.
“Nexus! Titan! Nebula! Callisto! Please!” I scream their names over and over until my voice is hoarse.
No one comes. The house is silent. Dread spreads like poison carried through every cell of my being. It slowly infects me, weighing my limbs down with the weight of my own suspicions.
“No,” I growl. “They wouldn’t leave me. They promised.”
My hand slaps on the top of the table as I force myself to stand, sending a remote sliding across the floor. I must have hit it just right because the television comes to life. A live stream is playing from another one of the label’s charity concerts for my father’s victims.
The familiar notes of a song through the speakers have my heart stalling in my chest. My eyes fly to the screen, confirming I’m not experiencing an auditory hallucination. There, on a stage states away from our home, is my pack. Performing at a show I wasn’t even informed they would be playing.
My arms collapse from under me, sending me sprawling back to the cold hardwood floors. “No,” I plead, curling in on myself to try to brace against the agony. “Please, no. Don’t make me face this again.”
I sob, begging repeatedly for my mates, but I’m alone. Always alone.
I jerk upright, sniffling back tears. My eyes immediately travel over every inch of the room, but it’s empty. Phantom pain pulses through my stomach and I snap.
They left me. Again. Even the bonds between us aren’t enough to make them stay.
Anger takes over, making my limbs shake. I push to my knees and start to rip their clothes from my nest. I toss them into a pile in the corner of the room, wanting to rid myself of their scents. Why does everything in this fucking nest smell like them?!
Their scent doesn’t fade, so I kick all the blankets off next. Even going so far as to rip the sheet from the mattress.
When their combined scent isn’t as overwhelming, I curl into the middle of the bed and let the sadness rush back in.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Now Playing: I Wanna Dance With Somebody- Sleep Token
We left Omen asleep in her nest this morning to start preparing for her heat. She needs all the rest she can get before it fully hits. The door to the studio stands open in case she wakes up and comes searching for us.
Thankfully, Nebula seems to be prepared for the chaos a heat brings. He produces a neatly written to-do list and quickly hands out tasks. I’m in charge of setting up a delivery of easy-heat meals and groceries to stock the mini fridge in the nest, while he calls the label to request time off and schedules a cleaning company to come a few days after.
