Page 66 of These Bonds that Unite Us
“You need more, sweet girl?” Nexus asks with a chuckle. My head tilts as I look up at him. More what? “I can feel your arousal in the bond.”
“Oh,” I whisper back. Warmth floods my cheeks as I realize how intense a bond really is. He’ll feel everything. Every time I find something they do attractive. If they feel all of this while they perform–
“We’ll teach you to mute the bond,” Callisto reassures me. I glance over my shoulder to see him sitting on the bed behind us. His face is as flushed as my own as he glances around the room. My poor beta doesn’t know what to do with himself.
His eyes fall on the pictures he had printed for me and he sits up a little straighter. Those dual-toned eyes flick back to me. “I’d love to cuddle you now, Starlight.”
Pride pulses through my heart and my alpha’s. He promised he was going to work on putting his own wants and desires first, so hearing him ask for something he wants without worrying about our wants first is great. Like the moment before Nexus started to eat me out, I hold my hand toward Callisto.
With him pressed to my back and Nexus against my front, I feel tethered in a way I haven’t in… well, ever. When we would cuddle in a pile on their bus or at a hotel during the tour, I could feel the potential, but it wasn’t nearly as developed as it is now. Maybe that’s because I can faintly feel the thread of Nexus and Callisto’s bond?
My eyes flutter closed, my body relaxing between them. I’m tired in the best way. Worn out from physical activity and not from the effects of the rejection. Though I imagine the lack of a second round is most likely from the strain on my body. One day soon, I hope I get to find out what it is like to have mates and not be one misstep away from an early grave.
Sensing the dark turn of my thoughts, a purr rattles to life in Nexus’ chest. My already relaxed body goes boneless as the soft noise vibrates through me. It’s like omega melatonin. Cal’s long fingers gently comb through my hair, soothing me further. Between the two of them, I stand no chance of fighting to stay awake.
Starting to wake some time later, I roll to the side seeking one of my mates. I bolt upright when my arm hits the empty bed, sending a spike of panic through my system. My eyes dart around the room, anxiety building as I realize it is empty. I’m alone. They left–
The door connecting the next to the master bathroom bursts open, bouncing off the wall loudly. “Shit,” Nexus swears. He stumbles into the room with a pair of sweatpants pulled halfway up his thighs. Concerned mocha eyes fly over my body. “Gorgeous, what happened?”
I try to fight back the swell of emotion crashing over me, but the tears fall anyway. Burying my face in my hands I muffle the relieved sobs caused by my hysteria. Nexus swears again, this time the sound is filled with remorse. The mattress dips as he crawls across and pulls me into his arms.
I don’t know why I tried to hide the physical expression of my emotions when he can clearly feel them through our bond.
“I’m here,” he whispers tightly. “I’ll always be right here.” His thumb brushes over his bond mark on my throat. He repeats the promise over and over, rocking me gently as I break.
“S-sorry,” I whisper when the tears have stopped.
“No apologies, gorgeous. Your fear is valid. I abandoned you once, it’s going to take more than a few weeks to convince you it won’t happen again.” He sighs, settling us back against a pile of pillows. My legs fall to either side of his hips, and my cheek presses against his chest. The rapid beat of his heart in my ear helps to settle the remaining anxiety inside of me. “I would havewaited until you woke up but I had to piss so bad I thought I would wet the bed. This mattress cover may be waterproof, but I’d rather not embarrass myself by testing it.”
“Where’s Callisto?” I ask after a few moments of silence.
“Downstairs. His parents called. Tonight is their monthly video check-in. He’ll be back as soon as they’re finished.”
It feels silly to be so worked up over them leaving the room, but trauma expresses itself in unimaginable ways. And I can’t pretend like Pack Graves walking away from me the first time wasn’t traumatizing in its own way. This is probably something I’ll need to bring up during my next therapy appointment.
“Would you like to get a shower? Maybe rinse off then get in the bath?”
I hum thoughtfully, taking a minute to check in with myself. Physically, not much has changed. I can feel Nexus through our bond, but otherwise, all of the pain and weakness from the chemical rejection is still there. My muscles are a little sore. Between my legs is too, but that’s from hot sex and not a life threatening disease.
Mentally, it’s like the layers of depression and sorrow clouding my mind have been lifted. Not that my fears have magically disappeared. They just seem easier to handle now.
“A bath would be nice,” I finally reply. Soaking will help the aches in my body and give me time to process the thoughts crowding my head.
Nexus shuffles us to the edge of the bed and carries me into the massive master bathroom. He sits me on the long, triple-sink vanity to wait for the shower to warm up. I swing my legs, enjoying the cool feel of the granite against my skin. Small bruises and hickeys litter my chest and hips. Reminding me this isn't another heat dream. He stayed this time.
I’m not sure yet how I feel about being bonded to them all. Nebula specifically. There are big issues the two of us needto resolve before I will feel confident enough to trust the bond between us. Did he bond me because his instincts forced him to? Or is the hunger I sometimes see in his eyes real?
“Let’s get you cleaned off.” Nexus interrupts my overthinking brain. I keep my hand in his and let him drag me beneath the warm spray.
Turning the temperature up, I enjoy the feeling of the spray against my skin. It’s probably demonically hot for my alpha mate, but he doesn’t complain. He’s methodical as he washes my hair with a new bottle of shampoo. It smells faintly of the vanilla I usually use, but based on the personalized bottle I imagine he ordered me a mix specifically for my hair type. Something he’s done for all of us based on the matching bottles lined up on the shelf.
The bathroom door opens and closes as the conditioner is rinsing from my hair. Water starts to run before soft cedar joins Nexus’ warm amber and my sunflower scent in the air. “Can I join you in the bath starlight?” Callisto asks.
I offer him a shaky smile and nod. He grips my elbow to steady me as I walk across the bathroom floor to the giant tub. I step inside first, sinking into the hot water with a happy groan. How does he always manage to set it to the perfect temperature?
Callisto sits back, pulling me to lean against his chest. He’s held me like this nearly every day for the past two weeks. Soaking and letting me relax without worrying about falling asleep and accidentally slipping beneath the water. My favorite part is listening to him softly sing to me. A personal preview of all the songs from their upcoming album sung for my ears alone.
“I’m going to make us something to eat,” Nexus tells me as he leans down to press a messy kiss to my lips.
